RE: MORITURI TE SALUTANT!! [S!4] ROUND 3- OPHIDIAN JADE!
08-03-2017, 08:14 PM
Carlie slumped into the corner and curled up into a little ball of hate. She fiddled around with the small, bronze pin that Chad had given/forced onto her and stared at it with disdain. "duuuh I'd never ask you to fuckin' kill anyone." she said in the most stupid voice she could muster. "Fucking prick, think you're better than me?" she anemically tossed the pin into the wall, it's little tinks echoed through the cold, stone hallways.
Carlie buried her head into her thick heavy robes. God who am I kidding, of course he's better than me. EVERYONE here is better than me. Everybody seems to know what they're doing. Everybody has some big, fucking plan they're trying to pull off. And here I am just dicking around, trying not to die. It's no different to my 'real' life. Carlie's hand slumped to her side and a tiny spark of white flame danced on her fingertips. The cadaver of a tiny moth suddenly sprung up to life and fluttered erratically into the air. Carlie would of reacted with horror (moths? More like awful fluttering wingspawn of satan jesus fuck aaaaaaa) but she felt too sad to muster up energy. Why me? Why give this amazing power to someone so hilariously incompetent? Am I just the punchline to some asshole God's joke?
Carlie's sad sack contemplation was interrupted with muttering and footsteps getting louder and louder. Ahh shit, maybe if I just sit here perfectly still they'll just walk on by...
"The timing is not right. The prophet told us...
"I don't give a shit about the timing! We're ready now! Let's do it now!"
"If we don't follow the prophecy word for word we risk disastrous consequences."
"It'll be fine! Fucking hell, be cool for once in your life! Anyway, shut up, this is the one."
Two robed figured stood right outside Carlie's cell because of course they fucking did. One large, heavy set man, completely bald and sporting a death stare that could drill through concrete. The other a rather skinny looking man with slick, stylized quiff. Both wore the same robes that Carlie had and both sported badges emblazoned with a ring of wings.
The bald one spoke in a deep, deliberate tone. "The ceremony is about to begin. You will come with us."
Carlie looked around in a panic, her eyes darting towards the bronze pin she tossed aside. DUUUH Don't worry Carlie! You'll have shit loads of time to think about this! I'm Chad and I'm a big fucking asshole! God damn it this was all his fault, somehow. "uuhh no? Like, do I get a choice here? can I, uh, take a mulligan on that?"
The robed figures briefly glance at each other, a hint of confusion dancing across their blank expressions. "...You have already made your choice, destiny has chosen you."
"Cool, that's a no then, that's, fine. " Shit shiiit shity shittery shit-jerie. "Well, er, could you tell me what's the, uh, deal? Like, what's gonna happen here?"
The bald man clasped his hands together and closed his eyes, as if in deep prayer. "Great things."
"Oh. Well. I mean, that seems, needlessly ambiguous?" The man opened up one eye and glanced at Carlie in bewilderment. "Like, I'll be honest, seems pretty clear you have an ulterior motive here." The large zealot started to lose his composure over Carlie's blunt retort "N-no there's nothing...there is no ulterior motive." Carlie leaned forward, "Nah dog. I've played this fucking game. You are so obviously evil and I ain't doing SHIT for you." Carlie folded her arms and scowled at the two monks in front of her. Haha take that! Nice one Carlie!
I mean I'm probably going to die but yeah! Self confidence! Maybe that's what will Wizard of Oz me out of this shitshow!
The bald man was at a loss for words. His small companion sighed loudly.
"Nice one you big tit. Let me talk to her."
"I am of higher rank it is my solemn dutyAAgh!"
The quiffed man stomped on the bald one's toe. "You fucked it up, Alan! This is why you don't work in PR."
The smaller man stepped into Carlie's cell with a casual demeanor. Carlie reflexively pulled her self further into her corner. "Heeey! Buddy! Lemme' just say, I apologise for my friend here, he is socially...challenged." Alan stared daggers into the back of his 'friend's' skull as he nursed his toe. "Yeah, I noticed." Carlie quipped. "Look, this whole thing is really sketchy, okay. The robes, the religious overtones, the fucking dungeon? None of this is going to turn out okay!"
Quiff man's body language was much more energetic and lively than his stoic compatriot. "hey, hey, hey, hey, look I get it, you suddenly appear here and it's like 'whaat?' right? Like, I get it, it's real weird out of context right?" Carlie couldn't help but warm up to the robed man in front of him, it was a relief to finally hear someone acknowledge how fucking odd all of this was. "Let me be honest with you for a moment; yes, you are part of this prophecy dealy we've been talking about and yes, you are kind of a big deal to us. BUT! That is why we want you to be a part of this ceremony! As, like, the big guest of honour!"
Carlie squinted at the guy in front of her, "Okay, but you still haven't told me what this ceremony is."
"Oh! Buddy!" The man danced in place in a giddy fashion. "It's a big party! Like, a religious holiday! We got food, drink-" He leaned forward and put his hand to his mouth in mock whisper "and ~druuuugs~!"
Carlie's interest was piqued "..what...kind of drugs?"
"Oh hoho! The best kind! And let me tell ya'; you look like you could use em'. You're looking pretty stressed out."
Carlie thought about it for a moment. I've gone through so much shit today. I could use a pick-me-up. Carlie's eyes once again darted towards the bronze pin laying on the stone floor. She reached out to grab it gazed at it intensely.
Suddenly, a tiny little angel Carlie pinged onto Carlie's shoulder! "Don't do it Carlie! Remember, Chad said these guys were bad news! We should really do what he sa-"
Then a little devil Carlie poofed onto Carlie's other shoulder! "Hey! Remember that time Chad threatened to roofie you if you didn't play in his bullshit Shakespeare fan fiction?"
"Oh god yeah, fuck Chad. That guy is the fucking worst."
Carlie darted up, billowing dust all around her. "YEAH! FUCK CHAD! I'M IN!"
"Yes! Fuck whoever that is! Let's go!"
The robed men lead Carlie out of her cell, in hushed tones they spoke to each over.
"This is a mockery of the teachings. A man of the holy cloth should never act like that."
"Sorry what's that? All I can hear is the sound of me getting promoted to high ~priiieeeeessst~!"
Alan's face scrunched up in annoyance as they lead Carlie down labyrinthine halls of stone and mortar. After a long, silent walk they opened a great wooden door in a grand church hall, lit all around by tiny flickering candles. The pews were filled with robed denizens, all with their hoods raised and chanting in slow prayer.
"Woah...okay, you were not fucking around with the religious stuff huh?" Carlie blurted out, admiring the massive stain glass mural at the back of the church hall.
"Yeah, it's wild, this probably looks crazy and shit but trust me, we just got do this little formality thing and then we can go straight to the partying!"
Carlie glanced at quiff man with skepticism, which he immediately picked up on. "I know! I know! Look it's just like...saying grace before a meal! You know! traditions and shit!"
Carlie bought it hook-line and sinker. "Oh. Well. uh, do I have to, like, do somethng or..."
"Just stand right here and just, kinda, soak it all in!" He lead Carlie to the front of the Church in the centre of great ornate circle drawn in chalk. Carlie would of gotten stage fright standing in front of so many people, but unfortunately she was now very familiar with standing on stages in front of hundreds of people, looking like an idiot.
Alan took his place in front of a pulpit, taking a large book in front of him and turning the ancient pages within. Carlie noticed his hands were trembling, which was weird but whatever, soon she'd be high of her tits and everything would be great again.
"The all seeing Melanchoria Marconi prophesied that this day would come. That a holy angel would-"
"pfft."
There was an awkward pause. Carlie turned bright red. "Sorry."
...would descend upon our world and in her hands she would hold the light of out Great Savior. The holy Godess. ELEVIN.
Holy ELEVIN we thank you for your guidance. The whole room muttered in unison.
"You named your God after a prime number?" Carlie's little quip was ignored by all in the great hall.
"And with the union of her Holy Soul and her Holy Body, she shall finally return to us in absolute resplendence, and lead us to the promised land we have waited for for so long."
"Is this gonna take long? Cos' I could murder a turkey leg or some shit right about now."
Quiff man gave a cheesy grin and a thumbs up to Carlie. She rolled her eyes in return.
"Now let us all imbibe in the Body of our Savior, so that we may be one with her glorious return."
Everyone in the room reached into their robe and pulled out an ornate syringe, filled with a deep crimson fluid.
Carlie's eyes widened. Oh shit. Not again.
"Hey so, er, no? No to all of this?" She shot nervous glances to anyone and everyone. "Like, hey, I can party with the rest of them, but, syringes? That's a little intense."
Quiff man dashed towards Carlie, who was looking increasingly more and more pale by the second. "Hey, hey, hey now. Lets not be so hasty yeah? Trust me this stuff is good, you'll love it!"
"Eeeeeeeyeaaaah but no though. I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now. I don't wanna do this."
The skinny man threw his arm around Carlie nonchalantly. "Hey, bud. I can respect your boundaries. If you don't wanna take part, then I ain't gonna hold that against y-hey what's that over there?"
Carlie glanced in the opposite direction, "Huh? Whats over wh-"
Carlie froze as a slender needle pierced the back of her neck. A deep red ichor pumped straight into her veins. Carlie jolted her elbow straight into the cultist's face. He recoiled back in pain, leaving the syringe jammed in her nape. She stumbled forward and yanked the needle out of her, she opened her hand to reveal a completely empty vessel.
"You. FUCKER!" She barked at the quiff man, who was nursing a heavily bloodied nose. "What the fuck is your problem!?"
The man laughed in between winces of pain "Buddy, you weren't being cool. I had to! Don't worry, babe. Great things are going to happen."
Carlie was incandescent with rage. "I should of fucking known. I should of listened to my gut! I can't believe I let you work your fucking how-to-make-friends-and-influence-people bullshit on me!" Carlie grabbed her head, she felt nauseous. "Oh god it's kicking in. I swear if this is some mind control horseshit I swwwweeeeeeaaaaarrr-"
The world seemed to go in slow motion. Carlie's vision hazed up and all she could hear was the soft hum of esoteric hymns. She watched as monks happily shot needles into their wrists. Carlie blinked slowly as a feeling of deep relaxation fell over her. This isn't so bad actually. A girl could get used to this wait no you're mad! Stay mad! Stay maaaaaaaaa
aaaan I mean, maybe you overreacted, a little, a tiny bit. This is, like, being pushed into a cold pool. Yeah you just need a push is all.
"Haaa hahaa." Carlie laughed lazily "Okay. When you're right you're right. Thiiiiiiis is pretty nice actually. I'm sorry I shouted at you, Mr. monk man. She rubbed her hand around her neck, a thin line of blood streaked across her palm. Or maybe it was this drug?
It was pretty hard to see with all the white fire around her arms.
"Woah." Carlie uttered in monotone. "Who died? Haha!" Carlie looked around and was only greeted with monks chanting hymns faster and faster.
"No, seriously guys, is there a corpse under your floorboards or something?"
Again, no answer. The white flames around her hands grew in intensity and began to climb up her arms.
"Okay it's...okay it's never gone this far before, it's...this doesn't seem right..." Carlie began to lose her composure as the flames danced all around her. Suddenly, a beam of light burst out of her chest. Carlie jolted forward as if taking a kick to the spine. She winced in...not pain per se but more...wrongness. Something was very wrong.
Carlie was immediately kicked out of her reverie, she quickly remembered that hey! That guy just jammed a fucking needle into her neck! "What. The FUCK. Did you put in me!?"
The bloodied man was beaming with delight. "Well, the people on the streets like to call it Red Harmonic. But we prefer the name-"
"The Blood of God." Alan bellowed, his expression wild and feral.
"The blood of GooooaaAAAAGHD!?" Carlie wrapped her arms around her gut. It felt like something was trying to burst out of her. Why's it always got to be fucking cults!? A white inferno spun wildly around her, every colour of the rainbow flickered on the periphery of the flames. Why is this happening? This only ever happened when something was dead around and...
Something clicked in Carlie's head and shhheeeeee hated it.
"Hey, hypothetical question: This god of yours."
"Are they dead?"
Quiff man gave a cheesy grin as blood streamed out if his nostrils.
"Not for ~loooooooooong~!"
And then Carlie's head exploded!
Carlie's head swung back as a jet of white flame shot out of her. "FUCK! SHIT! AAAGGH!" she put her hand over her head to stop the light cascading out of her. "Fuck. Oh god my head. Does...does it look bad?" She turned towards the great stained glass window behind her and squinted at her reflection. A great crack had erupted out of her skull and a seemingly endless supply of white flame was shooting out like a punctured gas pipe.
Carlie turned toward the crowd of zealots and lunged towards Alan, she grabbed at his robes and looked u[ to him with desperation in her eyes. "Give me the fucking cure now! Give it to me now or I am going to die!"
Alan looked down at the pathetic, firey girl and smiled. "This is the cure. Soon you shall emerge from your prison of flesh and grace us once more, ELEVIN."
"YOU ARE NOT HELPING!"
Carlie stumbled backwards as more beams of light pierced through her body. She could feel herself being torn apart from the inside. No. I don't want to die. I...I don't want to die.
Suddenly, she remembered. The pin. The communicator! Chad!
Oh god Chad.
Carlie reached into her pocket and pulled out the bronze pin. Every fiber of her being didn't want to this but she knew she had no options left.
"Chad! Please I need your help! You gotta come back! I'm dying! Please!"
There was a brief few seconds of silence which felt like an eternity. But then, the blank pin lit up! And then...
"Hi Carlie! It looks like your trying to contact me! Even though I gave you specific instructions to wait on my command! Nice one! I can't reach the communicator right now so please leave a message after the tone! Except, don't do that! And actually follow my orders next time! Chao!
*BEEP*
...
"You. MotherFUCKEEEAAAAAAAHHHH-"
Carlie's body was ripped to shreds at a massive column of light erupted from her form. Chad's pin clinked on the floor in a (somehow) insufferable fashion.
---
God it hurts being this good.
Chad neatly folded his robe and stuck it in some esoteric corner of some grimy back alley. A lesser man would of just dumped it in the trash but not Chad! He was smart enough to utilise every asset he had to its maximum capacity. Including people, especially people!
Chad had a shit eating grin plastered on his face as he walked down the darkened streets of the underground city. He was proud of himself, and rightfully so! He had his pet miracle worker right in his pocket. It didn't really matter if everything else went sour (which won't happen, because, come on, this is THE Chad Chaswell Charles we're talking about here), so long as Carlie was around to bring him back from the dead, he could coast all the way to the finish line. All she had to do was not throw her life away at the hands of some ghoulish cult, which Chad was confident she would not do. She was an idiot, but not that much of an idiot.
Yes, everything was going just as he had orchestra-
Suddenly, the whole underground lit up as a huge beam of light burst through the roof of nearby church.
If you looked closely enough in between the flashes of brilliant light, you would of seen Chad's eye twitching through his sunglasses.
---
The maelstrom of light that flooded the church slowly ebbed away. Carlie was gone, only tiny shreds of her clothes remained.
Alan dropped to his knees and uttered the most literal 'oh my God' anyone had ever said in the world.
Hanging in the air was large humanoid beast. It was covered from head to toe with brilliant white feathers, a few of which gently floated to the ground, reflecting an array of colours as they caught the light. Where it's arms should of been were instead gargantuan, violet wings, spreading out and reaching the opposite walls of the church. It's legs ended with great, fearsome talons made of pure light. It's face was devoid of all facial features, save for two massive black eyes. Though it had no mouth, it's voice reached throughout the building effortlessly.
"w h a t. . . "
Alan was in tears, Quiff man was in tears, everyone was crying and cheering and rejoicing. "We have waiting so long for this day. ELEVIN. You have finally returned to us! An age of eternal peace is finally upon us!"
And the holy Godess ELEVIN looked down on her people, so full of rapturous joy.
and she said:
"THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!?!?!?!?!"
Alan's face dropped.
Oh no.
Carlie buried her head into her thick heavy robes. God who am I kidding, of course he's better than me. EVERYONE here is better than me. Everybody seems to know what they're doing. Everybody has some big, fucking plan they're trying to pull off. And here I am just dicking around, trying not to die. It's no different to my 'real' life. Carlie's hand slumped to her side and a tiny spark of white flame danced on her fingertips. The cadaver of a tiny moth suddenly sprung up to life and fluttered erratically into the air. Carlie would of reacted with horror (moths? More like awful fluttering wingspawn of satan jesus fuck aaaaaaa) but she felt too sad to muster up energy. Why me? Why give this amazing power to someone so hilariously incompetent? Am I just the punchline to some asshole God's joke?
Carlie's sad sack contemplation was interrupted with muttering and footsteps getting louder and louder. Ahh shit, maybe if I just sit here perfectly still they'll just walk on by...
"The timing is not right. The prophet told us...
"I don't give a shit about the timing! We're ready now! Let's do it now!"
"If we don't follow the prophecy word for word we risk disastrous consequences."
"It'll be fine! Fucking hell, be cool for once in your life! Anyway, shut up, this is the one."
Two robed figured stood right outside Carlie's cell because of course they fucking did. One large, heavy set man, completely bald and sporting a death stare that could drill through concrete. The other a rather skinny looking man with slick, stylized quiff. Both wore the same robes that Carlie had and both sported badges emblazoned with a ring of wings.
The bald one spoke in a deep, deliberate tone. "The ceremony is about to begin. You will come with us."
Carlie looked around in a panic, her eyes darting towards the bronze pin she tossed aside. DUUUH Don't worry Carlie! You'll have shit loads of time to think about this! I'm Chad and I'm a big fucking asshole! God damn it this was all his fault, somehow. "uuhh no? Like, do I get a choice here? can I, uh, take a mulligan on that?"
The robed figures briefly glance at each other, a hint of confusion dancing across their blank expressions. "...You have already made your choice, destiny has chosen you."
"Cool, that's a no then, that's, fine. " Shit shiiit shity shittery shit-jerie. "Well, er, could you tell me what's the, uh, deal? Like, what's gonna happen here?"
The bald man clasped his hands together and closed his eyes, as if in deep prayer. "Great things."
"Oh. Well. I mean, that seems, needlessly ambiguous?" The man opened up one eye and glanced at Carlie in bewilderment. "Like, I'll be honest, seems pretty clear you have an ulterior motive here." The large zealot started to lose his composure over Carlie's blunt retort "N-no there's nothing...there is no ulterior motive." Carlie leaned forward, "Nah dog. I've played this fucking game. You are so obviously evil and I ain't doing SHIT for you." Carlie folded her arms and scowled at the two monks in front of her. Haha take that! Nice one Carlie!
I mean I'm probably going to die but yeah! Self confidence! Maybe that's what will Wizard of Oz me out of this shitshow!
The bald man was at a loss for words. His small companion sighed loudly.
"Nice one you big tit. Let me talk to her."
"I am of higher rank it is my solemn dutyAAgh!"
The quiffed man stomped on the bald one's toe. "You fucked it up, Alan! This is why you don't work in PR."
The smaller man stepped into Carlie's cell with a casual demeanor. Carlie reflexively pulled her self further into her corner. "Heeey! Buddy! Lemme' just say, I apologise for my friend here, he is socially...challenged." Alan stared daggers into the back of his 'friend's' skull as he nursed his toe. "Yeah, I noticed." Carlie quipped. "Look, this whole thing is really sketchy, okay. The robes, the religious overtones, the fucking dungeon? None of this is going to turn out okay!"
Quiff man's body language was much more energetic and lively than his stoic compatriot. "hey, hey, hey, hey, look I get it, you suddenly appear here and it's like 'whaat?' right? Like, I get it, it's real weird out of context right?" Carlie couldn't help but warm up to the robed man in front of him, it was a relief to finally hear someone acknowledge how fucking odd all of this was. "Let me be honest with you for a moment; yes, you are part of this prophecy dealy we've been talking about and yes, you are kind of a big deal to us. BUT! That is why we want you to be a part of this ceremony! As, like, the big guest of honour!"
Carlie squinted at the guy in front of her, "Okay, but you still haven't told me what this ceremony is."
"Oh! Buddy!" The man danced in place in a giddy fashion. "It's a big party! Like, a religious holiday! We got food, drink-" He leaned forward and put his hand to his mouth in mock whisper "and ~druuuugs~!"
Carlie's interest was piqued "..what...kind of drugs?"
"Oh hoho! The best kind! And let me tell ya'; you look like you could use em'. You're looking pretty stressed out."
Carlie thought about it for a moment. I've gone through so much shit today. I could use a pick-me-up. Carlie's eyes once again darted towards the bronze pin laying on the stone floor. She reached out to grab it gazed at it intensely.
Suddenly, a tiny little angel Carlie pinged onto Carlie's shoulder! "Don't do it Carlie! Remember, Chad said these guys were bad news! We should really do what he sa-"
Then a little devil Carlie poofed onto Carlie's other shoulder! "Hey! Remember that time Chad threatened to roofie you if you didn't play in his bullshit Shakespeare fan fiction?"
"Oh god yeah, fuck Chad. That guy is the fucking worst."
Carlie darted up, billowing dust all around her. "YEAH! FUCK CHAD! I'M IN!"
"Yes! Fuck whoever that is! Let's go!"
The robed men lead Carlie out of her cell, in hushed tones they spoke to each over.
"This is a mockery of the teachings. A man of the holy cloth should never act like that."
"Sorry what's that? All I can hear is the sound of me getting promoted to high ~priiieeeeessst~!"
Alan's face scrunched up in annoyance as they lead Carlie down labyrinthine halls of stone and mortar. After a long, silent walk they opened a great wooden door in a grand church hall, lit all around by tiny flickering candles. The pews were filled with robed denizens, all with their hoods raised and chanting in slow prayer.
"Woah...okay, you were not fucking around with the religious stuff huh?" Carlie blurted out, admiring the massive stain glass mural at the back of the church hall.
"Yeah, it's wild, this probably looks crazy and shit but trust me, we just got do this little formality thing and then we can go straight to the partying!"
Carlie glanced at quiff man with skepticism, which he immediately picked up on. "I know! I know! Look it's just like...saying grace before a meal! You know! traditions and shit!"
Carlie bought it hook-line and sinker. "Oh. Well. uh, do I have to, like, do somethng or..."
"Just stand right here and just, kinda, soak it all in!" He lead Carlie to the front of the Church in the centre of great ornate circle drawn in chalk. Carlie would of gotten stage fright standing in front of so many people, but unfortunately she was now very familiar with standing on stages in front of hundreds of people, looking like an idiot.
Alan took his place in front of a pulpit, taking a large book in front of him and turning the ancient pages within. Carlie noticed his hands were trembling, which was weird but whatever, soon she'd be high of her tits and everything would be great again.
"The all seeing Melanchoria Marconi prophesied that this day would come. That a holy angel would-"
"pfft."
There was an awkward pause. Carlie turned bright red. "Sorry."
...would descend upon our world and in her hands she would hold the light of out Great Savior. The holy Godess. ELEVIN.
Holy ELEVIN we thank you for your guidance. The whole room muttered in unison.
"You named your God after a prime number?" Carlie's little quip was ignored by all in the great hall.
"And with the union of her Holy Soul and her Holy Body, she shall finally return to us in absolute resplendence, and lead us to the promised land we have waited for for so long."
"Is this gonna take long? Cos' I could murder a turkey leg or some shit right about now."
Quiff man gave a cheesy grin and a thumbs up to Carlie. She rolled her eyes in return.
"Now let us all imbibe in the Body of our Savior, so that we may be one with her glorious return."
Everyone in the room reached into their robe and pulled out an ornate syringe, filled with a deep crimson fluid.
Carlie's eyes widened. Oh shit. Not again.
"Hey so, er, no? No to all of this?" She shot nervous glances to anyone and everyone. "Like, hey, I can party with the rest of them, but, syringes? That's a little intense."
Quiff man dashed towards Carlie, who was looking increasingly more and more pale by the second. "Hey, hey, hey now. Lets not be so hasty yeah? Trust me this stuff is good, you'll love it!"
"Eeeeeeeyeaaaah but no though. I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now. I don't wanna do this."
The skinny man threw his arm around Carlie nonchalantly. "Hey, bud. I can respect your boundaries. If you don't wanna take part, then I ain't gonna hold that against y-hey what's that over there?"
Carlie glanced in the opposite direction, "Huh? Whats over wh-"
Carlie froze as a slender needle pierced the back of her neck. A deep red ichor pumped straight into her veins. Carlie jolted her elbow straight into the cultist's face. He recoiled back in pain, leaving the syringe jammed in her nape. She stumbled forward and yanked the needle out of her, she opened her hand to reveal a completely empty vessel.
"You. FUCKER!" She barked at the quiff man, who was nursing a heavily bloodied nose. "What the fuck is your problem!?"
The man laughed in between winces of pain "Buddy, you weren't being cool. I had to! Don't worry, babe. Great things are going to happen."
Carlie was incandescent with rage. "I should of fucking known. I should of listened to my gut! I can't believe I let you work your fucking how-to-make-friends-and-influence-people bullshit on me!" Carlie grabbed her head, she felt nauseous. "Oh god it's kicking in. I swear if this is some mind control horseshit I swwwweeeeeeaaaaarrr-"
The world seemed to go in slow motion. Carlie's vision hazed up and all she could hear was the soft hum of esoteric hymns. She watched as monks happily shot needles into their wrists. Carlie blinked slowly as a feeling of deep relaxation fell over her. This isn't so bad actually. A girl could get used to this wait no you're mad! Stay mad! Stay maaaaaaaaa
aaaan I mean, maybe you overreacted, a little, a tiny bit. This is, like, being pushed into a cold pool. Yeah you just need a push is all.
"Haaa hahaa." Carlie laughed lazily "Okay. When you're right you're right. Thiiiiiiis is pretty nice actually. I'm sorry I shouted at you, Mr. monk man. She rubbed her hand around her neck, a thin line of blood streaked across her palm. Or maybe it was this drug?
It was pretty hard to see with all the white fire around her arms.
"Woah." Carlie uttered in monotone. "Who died? Haha!" Carlie looked around and was only greeted with monks chanting hymns faster and faster.
"No, seriously guys, is there a corpse under your floorboards or something?"
Again, no answer. The white flames around her hands grew in intensity and began to climb up her arms.
"Okay it's...okay it's never gone this far before, it's...this doesn't seem right..." Carlie began to lose her composure as the flames danced all around her. Suddenly, a beam of light burst out of her chest. Carlie jolted forward as if taking a kick to the spine. She winced in...not pain per se but more...wrongness. Something was very wrong.
Carlie was immediately kicked out of her reverie, she quickly remembered that hey! That guy just jammed a fucking needle into her neck! "What. The FUCK. Did you put in me!?"
The bloodied man was beaming with delight. "Well, the people on the streets like to call it Red Harmonic. But we prefer the name-"
"The Blood of God." Alan bellowed, his expression wild and feral.
"The blood of GooooaaAAAAGHD!?" Carlie wrapped her arms around her gut. It felt like something was trying to burst out of her. Why's it always got to be fucking cults!? A white inferno spun wildly around her, every colour of the rainbow flickered on the periphery of the flames. Why is this happening? This only ever happened when something was dead around and...
Something clicked in Carlie's head and shhheeeeee hated it.
"Hey, hypothetical question: This god of yours."
"Are they dead?"
Quiff man gave a cheesy grin as blood streamed out if his nostrils.
"Not for ~loooooooooong~!"
And then Carlie's head exploded!
Carlie's head swung back as a jet of white flame shot out of her. "FUCK! SHIT! AAAGGH!" she put her hand over her head to stop the light cascading out of her. "Fuck. Oh god my head. Does...does it look bad?" She turned towards the great stained glass window behind her and squinted at her reflection. A great crack had erupted out of her skull and a seemingly endless supply of white flame was shooting out like a punctured gas pipe.
Carlie turned toward the crowd of zealots and lunged towards Alan, she grabbed at his robes and looked u[ to him with desperation in her eyes. "Give me the fucking cure now! Give it to me now or I am going to die!"
Alan looked down at the pathetic, firey girl and smiled. "This is the cure. Soon you shall emerge from your prison of flesh and grace us once more, ELEVIN."
"YOU ARE NOT HELPING!"
Carlie stumbled backwards as more beams of light pierced through her body. She could feel herself being torn apart from the inside. No. I don't want to die. I...I don't want to die.
Suddenly, she remembered. The pin. The communicator! Chad!
Oh god Chad.
Carlie reached into her pocket and pulled out the bronze pin. Every fiber of her being didn't want to this but she knew she had no options left.
"Chad! Please I need your help! You gotta come back! I'm dying! Please!"
There was a brief few seconds of silence which felt like an eternity. But then, the blank pin lit up! And then...
"Hi Carlie! It looks like your trying to contact me! Even though I gave you specific instructions to wait on my command! Nice one! I can't reach the communicator right now so please leave a message after the tone! Except, don't do that! And actually follow my orders next time! Chao!
*BEEP*
...
"You. MotherFUCKEEEAAAAAAAHHHH-"
Carlie's body was ripped to shreds at a massive column of light erupted from her form. Chad's pin clinked on the floor in a (somehow) insufferable fashion.
---
God it hurts being this good.
Chad neatly folded his robe and stuck it in some esoteric corner of some grimy back alley. A lesser man would of just dumped it in the trash but not Chad! He was smart enough to utilise every asset he had to its maximum capacity. Including people, especially people!
Chad had a shit eating grin plastered on his face as he walked down the darkened streets of the underground city. He was proud of himself, and rightfully so! He had his pet miracle worker right in his pocket. It didn't really matter if everything else went sour (which won't happen, because, come on, this is THE Chad Chaswell Charles we're talking about here), so long as Carlie was around to bring him back from the dead, he could coast all the way to the finish line. All she had to do was not throw her life away at the hands of some ghoulish cult, which Chad was confident she would not do. She was an idiot, but not that much of an idiot.
Yes, everything was going just as he had orchestra-
Suddenly, the whole underground lit up as a huge beam of light burst through the roof of nearby church.
If you looked closely enough in between the flashes of brilliant light, you would of seen Chad's eye twitching through his sunglasses.
---
The maelstrom of light that flooded the church slowly ebbed away. Carlie was gone, only tiny shreds of her clothes remained.
Alan dropped to his knees and uttered the most literal 'oh my God' anyone had ever said in the world.
Hanging in the air was large humanoid beast. It was covered from head to toe with brilliant white feathers, a few of which gently floated to the ground, reflecting an array of colours as they caught the light. Where it's arms should of been were instead gargantuan, violet wings, spreading out and reaching the opposite walls of the church. It's legs ended with great, fearsome talons made of pure light. It's face was devoid of all facial features, save for two massive black eyes. Though it had no mouth, it's voice reached throughout the building effortlessly.
"w h a t. . . "
Alan was in tears, Quiff man was in tears, everyone was crying and cheering and rejoicing. "We have waiting so long for this day. ELEVIN. You have finally returned to us! An age of eternal peace is finally upon us!"
And the holy Godess ELEVIN looked down on her people, so full of rapturous joy.
and she said:
"THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!?!?!?!?!"
Alan's face dropped.
Oh no.