Consistency

24 #228 228 Houndour Dark Fire
24 #296 296 Makuhita Fighting
24 #443 443 Gible Dragon Ground
25 #060 060 Poliwag Water
25 #074 074 Geodude Rock Ground
25 #092 092 Gastly Ghost Poison
25 #177 177 Natu Psychic Flying
25 #223 223 Remoraid Water
25 #231 231 Phanpy Ground
25 #278 278 Wingull Water Flying
25 #420 420 Cherubi Grass
25 #524 524 Roggenrola Rock
25 #532 532 Timburr Fighting
25 #535 535 Tympole Water
26 #050 050 Diglett Ground
26 #096 096 Drowzee Psychic
26 #309 309 Electrike Electric
26 #316 316 Gulpin Poison
26 #418 418 Buizel Water
27 #170 170 Chinchou Water Electric
27 #188 188 Skiploom Grass Flying
27 #522 522 Blitzle Electric
28 #052 052 Meowth Normal

After meticulous calculations, you go and gather twenty-three Pokemon of specific species and lay them out on floor plates 24 to 28. You aren't sure why you think loading eleven onto Plate 25 will work, or why you're leaving 1-23 blank, but hey, you didn't design this crazy puzzle.

When you finish doing that, you enter the Pokedex numbers, names, and types of all the Pokemon into the terminals next to each floor plate. Finally, you go to the big button in front of the door and press "INPUT".

And then the ceiling starts to crumble. Looks like you entered the excessively complicated self-destruct code instead of the excessively complicated door code! What are you going to do now?

chickens chickens from the sky
will you float or will you die
in to fight with fencing sheep
en garde and dance, to die, to sleep.

Yes, you're sure that's how the national anthem goes. You sing the words at the border guard.

He growls.

"That is not the national anthem of Twinkletwinkle. In fact, it's the worst corruption of the anthem I've ever heard. You are clearly no citizen. Get out!"

Well, that could have gone better. Looks like the gate isn't really an option now, you'll have to find some other way into Twinkletwinkle. What are you going to do?

apach

H_R_S___ORD
HaRpSachRD

"I'm sorry, that's wrong. You lose 800 dollars for a wrong guess."

Dammit! You were close, too, you can feel it. But the worst part is, your opponent is looking really sure of herself. She thinks she can get the answer. And that would mean you'd lose for sure!
Your only hope here is to make her miss the answer so you can get another shot at it. But what can you possibly do?

A severe lack of ketchup.

You answer confidently.

"A severe lack of ketchup o'clock!" you declare.

The Gigasphinx simply glares at you.

"That was supposed to be an easy riddle," it growls. "The correct answer was 'Time to get more ketchup", how did you get that wrong? Oh well, job's a job, I'm going to eat you now."

You have some pretty severe objections to being eaten. What are you going to do about this?

apach

Yes, that's it! The Secret Quote is "apach", said by Dragon Fogel. You're sure of this, and answer confidently.

"I'm sorry, the correct answer was 'Give me liberty or give me death,' and it was said by Patrick Henry. And since you wagered everything on the question, your points are back to zero."

Drat! How could you have gotten that quote wrong? You're sure your answer was correct!

Wait... Maybe the judges just didn't realize it was a possible answer! You could ask for a challenge! But if you do that, you're going to need to present some kind of proof.

What proof do you have to offer?

Insufficient Funds

You think you've figured it out! The Insufficient Funds error is the right way to access the secret file. You quickly head on eBay and buy everything you can and...

Oh, whoops. You did get an Insufficient Funds error, but it didn't do anything. Plus, you just realized that you used your own account to do this. You're completely out of money now, moron. And you're no closer to opening the secret file!

So how are you going to fix this mess?

Reticulating Splines

You decide that the correct door is the one marked "Reticulating Splines". You enter it and...

oh god why

why did you pick this door why

splines should not be able to reticulate like that

When you recover your senses, you try to rush back through the door, but it's mysteriously locked itself behind it. Looks like you'll need to come up with another plan for getting out of here.

Critical Beatdown

Looking at the pattern of your opponent's moves so far, you think his next attack will be a Critical Beatdown. You prepare yourself to counter it.

But he just used a Knucleduster Supreme instead! Damn, that hurts.

You're down to just 15 HP. If you mess up one more time, you've had it. What's the next move going to be?

Bread Dick

That's it! The tiny man's name must be Bread Dick! You tell him that, sure that this will mean he won't take away your firstborn child as payment for spinning that straw into gold.

He just glares at you.

"That is a very rude name to call someone. If you insult me like that again, I'll demand your second child as well."

This negotiation isn't going too well for you. Maybe you need to try a different approach here. But what?

God damn fucking fluuuuuuuuu

You think that the patient's symptoms point towards the God damn fucking fluuuuuuuuu, and give them instructions to treat it.

A week later, they come back with a nose twice as swollen and looking twice as green. To your horror, you realize that they must have had the God damn fucking fluuuuuuuuuu instead! And your hasty treatment has only made it worse.

Normally, you'd prescribe them three doses of Thisstufftastesfuckinawful a day, but at this advanced stage, and with the previous treatments still in their system, you're not sure this will work out. What should you tell them to do?

Although Consistency took a turn for the weird after the last update, even I don't know what's going on with that any more.

Dammit, dammit, dammit! This isn't the solution you had in mind, but you just realized that you made a mistake in the puzzle. It doesn't affect your intended solution, but it makes this one look possible. And now it's a popular answer.

Geez, you were so careless. If you went with this decoding, it would take the entire adventure in the exact opposite direction from what you want! But if you corrected the puzzle, that might give away the solution you wanted.

You've got to do something, though. And fast. The bomb attached to your arm will explode if you don't update in the next three minutes. How are you going to resolve this problem?