Villagers vs. Tomatoes [4/4 Filled]

After a messy breakup with the village belle, LISA, the vindictive witch TAMMY WISEAU has put a curse upon the local tomato stock! All tomatoes have gained sentience, grown hundreds of times their normal size, and developed a taste for harassment. Every day, innocent people live in fear of their own produce.

Take up arms and defend your neighbours from these fruity monstrosities! The wicked TAMMY WISEAU must pay for her crimes. Restore peace to OHAI VILLAGE, foil the witch, and make some freakin' wicked salads in...

VILLAGERS VS TOMATOES

So, yeah! It's a bare-bones dungeon-crawler based on egregious references to The Room. Cue goofy roleplay, d6 abuse, and cartoonish violence that shouldn’t result in too many non-tomato casualties. Combat plays out in turns and favours threatrics (i.e. I hand out bonuses like party favours for lovingly described insanity). System's basically a slightly-more-predictable RTD, which I considered explaining here but required reading is for nerds. You’ll pick it up as we go, much like one picks up Tommy Wiseau’s accent during their first screening of The Room. You’re tearing me apaht, Leesuh!

VILLAGER SIGNUP

Name: (Knock yourself out)
Text Color: #HEXCODE
Bio: (A couple lines will do)
Favourite Tomato Dish: (Humour me)

Put these stats in order from STRONGEST to WEAKEST:

Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, Willpower

Taking 4 players! To cut down on setup, combat order will be determined by order of applicants. If you have to bow out, that’s cool; I’ll come up with some reason your character retired from the vegan violence.

PLAYER LIST

1. Sir Albert Alphonse Alphage II (a52)
   
2. Sir Sinkus Sailorus Dinkey Doingey Boinky Bingy Jorpa Doo (SinkingSailor)
   
3. ??? (Gatr)
   
4. Steven (Palamedes)