Loather Status

i was feeling sort of ok and productive and now i just feel

scared

vaguely dysphoric

feeling my entire existence stolen from me by shitty fulltime work

and on top of all of that, theres a deep visceral feeling that anything i make will go beyond being bad into outright disastrous, like harmful to my health, a waste of time i dont have enough of, even though i need that fulfillment

i cant do anything because of these feelings, i just want to stop being a trainwreck, i just want to chill a bit and appreciate life

but i cant even enjoy doing nothing because i have so little time

and these feelings are shutting me down so hard

im just. fucking doomed huh

:\