Beef Squad

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SpoilerPosted by NonAnalogue - 06-18-2017 10:38 PM
"Because I wasn't allowed to leave through the door"

Posted by bigro - 06-18-2017 07:33 AM
Hide in the umbrella, if you can't see them they can't see you. Foolproof.

Posted by wiltingMyosotis - 06-18-2017 06:27 AM
> Smack him with your umbrella to make him let go of you, but only if you're sure it'll work.

Posted by eerr - 06-18-2017 05:54 AM
>Let loose a battlecry and run away!

Posted by Tim Tesy - 06-18-2017 02:50 AM
>Show it your opened hand, when it gets close to examine it, spit on your hand and smear its ocular sensor with it, then reply "because I want to escape fool!" slide down its long legs

>Show it your opened hand, when it gets close to examine it, spit on your hand and smear its ocular sensor with it, then reply "because I want to escape fool!" slide down its long legs

You get a few ideas up your invisible sleeves. This is going to be hilarious to watch.

"Dude, dude, listen close. Show that robo dude your opened hand, and once it get's close, spit in your palm and just smear his large robo eyeball. Then fuckin slide down his legs when he let's go of yours. It's fool proof!"

Meriad thinks that idea is fucking stupid and will fail miserably, but he really doesn't have anything to lose, except his dignity when he get's dragged back to the castle by the scarf. Meriad sighs, and opens his hand.

"You made me cut myself you stupid, metal bastard."


"..."

Meriad doesn't think he's falling for it.

Probably because he did this trick like, 5 times already in the last 6 months.

"Do you really think I'll forget the last 6 times you tried to smear my ocular sensor with spittle, you-"
TIME FOR EXTREME MEASURES
>Smack him with your umbrella
"MERIAD WHY?"
"Because I want to escape, fool!" Meriad screeches, after he tried to meld an umbrella to 0-N3's metallic face. "Besides," he continues. "They wouldn't let me leave through the door, so it's entirely your fault that you now have a dent in your dumb face."

Oof, you think to yourself. He actually fucking did it, the mad man! You really need some popcorn for the rest of this, but it looks like this little computer room is devoid of everything edible.
Shucks.

Before the robot can tighten his grip once again, Meriad stabs the arm holding his legs with the umbrella tip, which makes the robot completely let go of Meriad in surprise.

After a few seconds of panicked freefall, Meriad grabs onto 0-N3's legs, and slides down for dear life.

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Spoiler I forgot to ink this blue, and can't change it cuz I saved it as a png plus im a total dongus madongus ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit: Tronn used witchcraft and fixed it for me thanku tronn

Fire fighters make it look easy on TV but my arms are fuckin' killing me, and I think I'm going to burn a hole through my pants, thought Meriad through gritted teeth. He can see the the ground far below him, and can feel angry, robotic claws just above him. Suddenly, an imaginary lightbulb lights up in Meriad's head; The B.O.O.H button.

>Hide in the umbrella, if you can't see them they can't see you. Foolproof.


A button on his umbrella, for when you need to get out of a situation like a Bat Out Of Hell. This button saved his ass on multiple occasions when he was a dumb 17 year old who didn't know when to cut back on the sass. Losing the umbrella put him in check real quick once he realized he just can't poof out of every scary situation. But now, it's here, in Meriad's grasp, as he's sliding down a pair of Robot legs that are owned by 0-N3, who at the moment wants to choke him to death with his own scarf. This counts as an emergency, right? He won't take advantage of it this time, he can't go back to his 17 year old self.

Meriad presses the little button on the umbrella handle, and quickly drops the umbrella.


He only has maximum of 15 seconds before he hits the ground. The umbrella drops like a heavy boulder, unlike an umbrella at all, and hits the ground with a loud thud. Once again it triples in size, And a black darkness fills every crevice inside the middle, like a water fountain made for the little birds of hell. Meriad takes a deep breath. He's around 7 seconds away from the ground, and he has to jump.

Meriad takes another breath.


5 seconds.


Meriad lets go.


3 seconds.



Meriad brings his legs close to his chest, in fear of splattering all over the asphalt.



1 second.



Cannonball.





Blackness. Strange,very strange. Where did the prince kid go?


Woop, woop, there's our boy in blue!
Meriad pops into existence, followed by the umbrella a second later.



This place is..."darker" than he used to remember, but it made the doors stick out alot more. Two doors, one pink, the other a bright yellow.

Meriad knows the pink door leads to Tammy, his friend at the Diner.



Tammy has always been a good friend. He always listened when Meriad whined and cried about the difficulty of royalty, without any snide remarks or insults. He can be a little naive-

wait, no.

He can be very naive.

Compliments and pick up lines, even the most obvious ones, fly over Tammy's head. Meriad always found it hilarious, but always felt a little sorry for the customer who tries their luck and fails miserably, and even more so to the ones who realize Tammy is actually male. The only thing that doesn't make Meriad laugh about Tammy's Naivety is how easily insults and sarcasm fly over his head too.

Even with Tammy's Naivety, His diner is a safe haven(literally, the Diner actually sits on a cloud it's kind of amazing) for those having a bad day, including Meriad. The only problem here is that 0-N3 knows that Meriad goes there often, and it will be the first place they'll search.

The second door is...

Meemo's?


Meriad barely recognises the door, since it changed so much compared to Tammy's. There's so much stuff taped to the door; posters, letters, pictures, fuckin' ugly ass emojis, even a "World's hottest messenger 2088" poster, with her face just badly taped onto it.
The entire door screams Meemo, almost as loud Meemo herself, but that's probably stretching it a little.



Meemo is... loud in almost everyway possible. Clothes, personality, voice, posters, the way she makes extremely loud engine noises everytime she delivers the mail. All activities done with Meemo usually end in explosions, fires, and/or the police being called.

Completely unpredictable, she even scares the local police.
Which says something since most of the police force are made up of 6 ft tall avian birds of prey.

Meriad knows that going through the yellow door will make him extremely hard to plot, because Meemo does not stay in one place for long, and is one of the fastest runners known on planet Earth 2.0, which will make it even harder for 0-N3 to find him.

The thing is, the chance of dying and/or being sacrificed to the snail lord rises quite significantly.

"So, which door should we pick, ghost man?"