Order and Chaos

eat them but not in a vore way

"I'm going on a hunger ſtrike," Mary declared.

"Oh thank De," I said.

"ſtarting with you!" Mary added, and then she lunged for the attendant and tore out their larynx with her teeth.

"Ooh, I'm liking the new look, Mary!" said Milton.

Oh no, thought I. Was it perhaps a poor choice to add the responsibility of universal stability onto the shoulders of such an already-overstressed-and-unstable personage? I pulled Mary off the attendant by the shoulders as she snapped viciously.

"Mary!" I admonished her. "Whatever are you doing? What would," I turned her head away from the attendant she was still growling at and continued in hushed tones, "what would Adeline think?"

Mary stopped. She wiped the blood off her mouth onto her nice white sleeve.

"You're right, Commun," she said, composing herself. "I have made the quite the fool of myſelf." The attendant spat up their own blood out of their throat hole in a geyser. "Thiſ iſ ſimply not behavior befitting a queen. We muſt find an attendant who can diſcreetly bury this body at once."

"What about this one right here?" said Milton, holding up the left hand of the attendant choking on their lack of throat.

"I like it, it's efficient," said Mary. "I'll get changed into ſomething more regal for the ceremony. Milton, you have a way with mother, you ſort my aſcenſion out with her." Milton nodded and set off, probably to do anything but that. "And Commun, you take care of the court. We ſhould have this knocked out before the afternoon is out!"

"It's already 10 at night," I whined.

"Adeline dear!" Mary hollered. "Be received at once."

"You needn't add witnesses," I grumbled.

Adeline hustled into this room and then staggered backwards in horror at the sight of the unnamed attendant's desiccated, writhing near-corpse.

"Adeline my love, I'm afraid we have a problem, or rather, two," said Mary as Adeline screamed, backed into the corner, clawing at her face. "The firſt is that you happen to exiſt but are not real, I have come to realize that you are ſimply a manifeſtation of my dreamſ and fantaſieſ or a diſtorted reproduction baſed on my memorieſ of thoſe few dayſ I had with the original Adeline, bereft of her unknown complexitieſ and experienceſ."

Adeline had turned to sob into the cobblestone corner, so Mary turned her back to face her Highness by the wrists.

"The ſecond," Mary said, blood and viscera still left on her chin and wetting her dress collar, "is that all the violence I have ſeen, had viſited upon my perſon, and perpetuated upon otherſ, eſpecially in the lateſt inſtance, haſ left me extremely horny. I am very into that, ſexually."

The revived Adeline flapped her gums open and close wordlessly and sweatingly as if to say "I am left wordless and do not know what to say even though I wish to express my thoughts through speech at the present moment."

"I would like to proposition you up to my quarterſ, for extremely rough ſex before I get dreſſed and become queen, if you would pleaſe," Mary concluded.

"Woo!" said Milton, digging a grave in the middle of the hall by holding onto a shovel with the dying attendant's hands. "Get it girl!"

Adeline's eyes darted from one corner of the hallway to another, licking her lips. Then, she looked Mary dead in the eyes and nodded slowly. Mary released her. "Good," Mary said. "Run along to my room, even though you would have no realiſtic way of knowing where that iſ, and I will meet you there." Adeline nodded and dashed off, eager to leave that horrifying room. That left just me and the future Queen, who sighed and turned to me:

"Commun," she said, "I don't know what I can do. I can't marry that figment." And despite it all, De damn it, my heart broke for her then. "I want to love her, I want to find out about her, I want to... find her. We need to bring her back." She looked at me with dewey eyes. "But later." A twinge of a smile at the corner of her lips.

"You can never tell anyone," I reminded her. "I don't think you understand how you could demolish your rulership's legitimacy in the opening week with this."

"We have to get to work," she reminded me. "TTFN."

---

Now it was up to me to convince the court to assemble a coronation ceremony for the crown princess, which, if you didn't notice, was the suggestion prompt for the previous update. The first problem was to wake them all up and assemble them for the formal arrangements.

"As you may well know," said I, "the king has fallen in his battle against the gods themselves." Murmuring erupted amongst the assembly!

I am too drunk to write the effort-intensive banter for the assembled dukes, duchesses, and lords who are constantly killing and replacing each other in ever-more elaborate and novel fashions, so kindly refer to page 6.

The drift is: The court loves, even more than political murder, planning a once-in-a-lifetime party!

---

So, Mary comes down the central aisle an hour and a half later, dressed in an ornate, all-white dress, complete with gloves and a veil that completely covered her face, topped with a crown of white chocolate, because when you're queen, every day is your wedding, your wedding to your country, flanked by hundreds of multicolored balloons with the whole audience tossing in lilacs, also of many colors, not just lilac, to the score of a brass band playing The Sound Of Silence in instrumental form. Mary was stricken... this was not a song that existed in her own time and place, and yet, from somewhere, the lyrics came to her, and she began to quietly sing:

Hello darkneſſ, my old friend.
I've come to talk with you again.
Becauſe a viſion ſoftly creeping
Left itſ ſeeds while I waſ ſleeping,
And the viſion that waſ planted in my brain
Still remainſ
Within the ſound of ſilence...

She paused, then continued, louder and more confident:

In restleſſ dreamſ I walked alone!
Narrow ſtreetſ of cobbleſtone
'Neath the halo of a ſtreet lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp,
When my eyes were ſtabbed by the flaſh of a neon light
That ſplit the night
And touched the ſound of ſilence...

It was an impromptu improvisation that would not be tolerated by the court. They began to riot. They set Larry King's cop car on fire. This update is not very funny.

Nonetheless it would not interrupt the ceremony. Mary Lee Vindictus continued to the end of the aisle, where she would kneel to be crowned, once and for all, as Absolute Queen.

But who was the one there to crown her?