RE: SeaWyrm's Talon Exercises
11-05-2012, 05:50 AM
Jaimie went downstairs to make a cup of hot chocolate.
At the bottom of the stairs, she tripped over Smeddins, the cat.
Smeddins was furious.
"Why can't you watch where you're going!?" he yowled, his tail bristling in exasperation.
"Sorry, sorry," muttered Jaimie, meekly, "I didn't see you there."
"Didn't see me? Didn't see me? How typical for a human!" shouted Smeddins. "Humans! Pathetic!" he spat. "Makes me wonder why I keep you around, it does."
"I pay half the rent," complained Jaimie, "it's my apartment, too!"
"Half the rent! Half the rent! Hoo! That's a good one!"
"But-"
"Have you looked at any grocery lists lately? Have you read those receipts? Add up the cost of tuna and kitty litter and tell me what that comes out to! Is it half? Do I take up half the space in this apartment? Is all the space belong to us cats? No!"
Jaimie winced at the silly and inappropriate reference that probably only got included for some dumb and irrelevant reason established elsewhere.
"No," continued Smeddins, "you may pay half the rent, but you reap the benefits of a good three quarters! Proportionally, I pay far more than you do! On a CAT'S income! You know how that makes me feel? So angry I could just-"
"Yeeowch!" cried Jaimie as Smeddins' claws raked across his unprotected shin.
Teller padded into the room, orange fur neatly groomed as always, tiny spectacles balanced on his nose.
"I say, what's all the fuss?" asked Teller.
"This miserable excuse for a life-form," spat Smeddins, "had the gall to say to me that he pays half the rent!"
Teller's spectacles fell off his face. "Well I never!" he proclaimed, whiskers flaring back. "It's as if he has no grasp of the proportional economic burden between felines and humans!"
"Right!" cried Smeddins, "doesn't it make you mad?"
"It most certainly does!" proclaimed Teller. "Let's go and claw all of his stuff to pieces!"
"That'll show him!" agreed Smeddins.
As the two cats ran off, Jaimie stood forlornly in the doorway. "Good grief," he said, "all I wanted was a cup of hot chocolate."
He stumbled over to the kitchen. From behind him came the sounds of his personal possessions being shredded.
---15 Mins---
At the bottom of the stairs, she tripped over Smeddins, the cat.
Smeddins was furious.
"Why can't you watch where you're going!?" he yowled, his tail bristling in exasperation.
"Sorry, sorry," muttered Jaimie, meekly, "I didn't see you there."
"Didn't see me? Didn't see me? How typical for a human!" shouted Smeddins. "Humans! Pathetic!" he spat. "Makes me wonder why I keep you around, it does."
"I pay half the rent," complained Jaimie, "it's my apartment, too!"
"Half the rent! Half the rent! Hoo! That's a good one!"
"But-"
"Have you looked at any grocery lists lately? Have you read those receipts? Add up the cost of tuna and kitty litter and tell me what that comes out to! Is it half? Do I take up half the space in this apartment? Is all the space belong to us cats? No!"
Jaimie winced at the silly and inappropriate reference that probably only got included for some dumb and irrelevant reason established elsewhere.
"No," continued Smeddins, "you may pay half the rent, but you reap the benefits of a good three quarters! Proportionally, I pay far more than you do! On a CAT'S income! You know how that makes me feel? So angry I could just-"
"Yeeowch!" cried Jaimie as Smeddins' claws raked across his unprotected shin.
Teller padded into the room, orange fur neatly groomed as always, tiny spectacles balanced on his nose.
"I say, what's all the fuss?" asked Teller.
"This miserable excuse for a life-form," spat Smeddins, "had the gall to say to me that he pays half the rent!"
Teller's spectacles fell off his face. "Well I never!" he proclaimed, whiskers flaring back. "It's as if he has no grasp of the proportional economic burden between felines and humans!"
"Right!" cried Smeddins, "doesn't it make you mad?"
"It most certainly does!" proclaimed Teller. "Let's go and claw all of his stuff to pieces!"
"That'll show him!" agreed Smeddins.
As the two cats ran off, Jaimie stood forlornly in the doorway. "Good grief," he said, "all I wanted was a cup of hot chocolate."
He stumbled over to the kitchen. From behind him came the sounds of his personal possessions being shredded.
---15 Mins---