Earth Escape

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Author's note Hey question. I thought that the text spread out like that would be easier to read but now I'm worried it just makes the posts look too spaced out. Preferences?

>On second thought Kevin is an alright name! You wouldn't explode a Kevin would you?

MICROCHIP-G45:
The unnamed alien springs to attention. Thoughts racing, they try desperately to plead with their “companion”.

???:
WAIT! Don't blow up! I can be Kevin! I can be whatever you want! Just turn off the alarm and--

MC-G45:
Nice try, Not-Kevin, but I won’t be bought by the lies of someone whose brain I inhabit.

>Remind the microchip that if you die, it dies too

???:
Nnnrg! You wouldn’t kill me, you’re a part of me! If I die so do you.

MC-G45:
Hm. I'll admit that is a pretty good argument, but on the other hand... do I really want to be stuck here forever? Cut off from everything we've known all because of your stupid mistake? No. I don't.

--*BEEP BEEP BEEP*--

???:
So what, you’re going to kill us? Just like that?

MC-G45:
Pretty much.

???:
But--No! There must be another way!

MC-G45:
Can you think of one?

???:
Um...

MC-G45:
I thought so. Goodbye.

--*BEEP BEEP BEEP*--

???:
WAIT!

>Put that shit on mute, we ain't having it!

???:
Mute! Mute override 6-7-4!

MC-G45:
That doesn't work on G-45 units, smart one, you're thinking of G-47.

???:
NO!

MICROCHIP-G45:
Alas poor nameless master, doomed to-- Oh come now. Are you... Are you crying?

???:
I'msosorryInevermeantforthingstobethiswayit'sallmyfaultishouldn'thavecomehereand...

MC-G45:
*Sigh*

>MC-G45: Be dicking with not-Kevin.

???:
…?

MC-G45:
For the record, I was messing with you. But you had to go and muck up the punchline by getting emotional. Now the mood's ruined.

???:
Are you KIDDING me?

MC-G45:
If I was we’d be dead now.

???:
Gaaaaaahh!! You stupid---stupid---Gaaaah!

MC-G45:
Well excuse me for trying to lighten the mood a little. So dramatic.

???:
ARRRGH!

>Look around you. What kind of mess you've gotten yourself into this time?

MICROCHIP-G45:
Relieved their merciful and hilarious micro-companion isn't going to kill them, Whatstheirname has a look around. Let’s see what the damage is, shall we?



Barren walls, barren floor, stains of unknown origin, cracks most likely filled with disgusting Earthen insects or something else unpleasant, decrepit ceiling pipes dripping some strange dark liquid... Yes it seems like my brilliant host has gotten us trapped in a doorless room in an unknown building, located off any map I know in the middle of nowhere. And get ready for the kicker, this planet wasn’t even a part of our initial mission. They only came here because--

???:
That’s enough!

MC-G45:
Who do you think I’m talking to? There’s only us here. No one of which I could, as the humans say, ‘spill the proverbial beans’ to, and certainly no telepaths to hear our thoughts.

???:
Yeah but.... It kinda feels like you’re talking to someone.

MC-G45:
Ridiculous.

>MC-G45: Have psychokinesis module installed. Use said module to irritate owner for getting stuck here forever.

MICROCHIP-G45:
The grand and wonderful MC-G45 would love to, but unfortunately all my fun modules are locked from personal use. Seems they were disabled when we were brought here. Save for self-destruct. That one’s still fully-operational.

???:
Much to my everlasting delight.

MC-G45:
Watch the sarcasm, it doesn’t suit you. That’s for humans. And me.

???:
Whatever.

MC-G45:
Anyway, since you did all that pleading for your life I’m going to guess you don’t want this place to be your tomb. So let’s hear it. What’s the plan?

???:
….Uh

MC-G45:
Well?

???:
I’m thinking!

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