[Unfortuna] Mule x Vampire... OTP?

>Your name is SIR SCHMOOPY of AWESOMETON!

Oh yeah, now I remember. I think it was Schmoopy. Wait, what's this? It looks like a note. Oh, and it looks like it was from my crewmate to another of my crewmate.

Dear Coco,
Sorry for what I've done to Mark. I shouldn't of made that horrible choice. Now, Mark is dead, and it's my fault. I made a huge mistake, and I need serious help. I feel like I should just take a knife, cut a hole where my stomach is, and bleed. I don't care that I'm a "special snowflake" when all I have is just a different name and freckles.
Sincerely, Ella

Woah, I am seriously creeped out. Mark and Ella are probably dead. Wait, who's that bloody generic over there?

Likely Named "Bob": Oh... Sir Schmoopy of Awesometon... Can you get me... water?
Sir Schmoopy: Uh, I don't really have any water, Bob.
"Bob": Bob!? Who do you think I am, another generic!? I am your pal! I am your capt-[starts coughing]

Wait, is that Ella Mayo?