Consistency

on the current we ride

What? Stay on the same current? The one that's headed for that big waterfall? That's just crazy!

Unfortunately, in the time you took to dismiss that insane notion, your raft drifted past the fork in the river. Looks like you're heading over the falls whether you like it or not.

This would probably be a good time to come up with a plan of some kind. Preferably one that involves surviving.

FLYING RIGHT HOOK.

You're still puzzled by what these hooks on ridiculously long chains are doing, but you decide to take a gamble and hop on the one flying to the right.

Oh. Huh. It seems to be headed for a waterfall. And you're pretty high up. You think this may not have been the best choice.

So what's the plan now?

Honestly, I think our suggestions are just whatever comes into our frankly not-sane brains at the moment.

Oh! Perfect! You can get suggestions from your brain! You just felt something fly in there. You stick your hand in and pull whatever it was out, and stuff it in the suggestion box.

Suddenly, the building starts moving. You look outside, and it's headed directly towards a raging river. In the distance, you can see a waterfall, and you think you see two really long chains in the air for some reason.

Maybe you should have taken a look at what you were actually suggesting before you stuffed it in the suggestion box. Oh well, too late now. The only thing you can do is suggest something else in hopes of stopping it. But what might work?

If 3x3 matrices A and B each have three pivot positions, then A can be transformed into B by elementary row operations.

Of course! It makes sense now! A and B were the same 3x3 matrix the whole time! All the clues are falling into place!

But there's a problem. If A and B are the same matrix... there's no way A could have committed the murder. After all, B has a rock-solid alibi. So who's the real killer?

Well... You do know some things now. Namely, they're either not 3X3, or they don't have three pivot positions. But then how could they have gotten to the top of the waterfall? They couldn't have done it the same way you did.

This case keeps getting stranger and stranger. And... hey, who's that on a raft coming down the rapids? They don't look like a matrix at all!

watch out for quote pyramids.

Oh no! You knew Lord Quote's forces were lurking nearby, but you didn't realize they included some of his Quote Pyramids!

You're in more trouble than you thought. The Quote Pyramids are nearly indestructible, the only way you ever wrecked one was by sending it over a waterfall. But where are you going to find one of those all the way out here?

You'll need a different plan, unless you have some idea of how to find a waterfall...

Hey, was that a big hook flying through the air on a chain? What's even the deal with that?

> Dance on the Autism Spectrum.

Oh, come on. It's bad enough that you're on this really dumb reality show, "The Autism Spectrum", that makes fun of your severe disability, and even worse that they've dragged you out into the middle of nowhere for some dumb stunt involving a waterfall... why would you embarrass yourself even more by taking the time to dance?

"Hey! Are you getting in the barrel or not?" the cameraman yells at you. "We don't have all day here!"

Oh, right. Because it's a stalling tactic. You immediately begin breakdancing, and...

CRASH! WHAM! BOOM!

What the hell? How did you breakdance your way into the barrel? At least you broke the dumb camera in the process. But you're upside-down in a barrel floating down a river towards a waterfall, maybe you should think about what to do.

> Dance on the Autism Spectrum's grave.

Yes. Your archrival, the Autism Spectrum, has been vanquished! You indulge yourself in an impromptu dance upon his gravestone. You also wonder why it's at the top of a waterfall, but never mind that, you have a tasteless victory dance to perform!

It turns out you're not very good at dancing. Somehow, you've found yourself on top of a barrel heading for the falls. What are you going to do now?

> Chug the bottle marked "NyQuil."

You have your doubts about that bottle, but on the other hand, you're not really sure that the others are any better. You open it up...

What the hell? How is an entire waterfall pouring out of a single bottle? And where's it even coming from?

One fuckton, two shitloads, and one and a half metric fucktons.

Okay, you've picked out your container sizes. Now you just need to fill them all with water. But how are you going to get these huge containers all the way over to the river? They're pretty delicate despite their size, you'd rather not roll them... and besides, that would only work for getting them to the river, not back.

You'll need to think of something. You need to catch that waterfall, and fast.

3 6 9, the boots drank wine

You set your absorbing boots to Wine, and input the combination 3-6-9 on the safe. As it opens up, a torrent of water comes rushing out! It pushes you out of your house and moves rapidly towards a cliff. Wonderful, you found some idiot keeping a waterfall inside a safe.

Wonderful. Why did you set them to Wine instead of Water? Where are you even going to find wine in a place like this?

Oh well, it's too late to worry about it. Your priority is to not get swept away over the cliff. How are you going to do that?