RE: Grand Fiction
10-03-2012, 04:40 AM
"No, no, no. This won't do at all."
Sorsa Rar looked over the cyber-skeleton he had just draped in a black cloak and shook his head.
"I can't expect you to pass as Konka up close, of course, but even from a distance it would raise suspicion. You lack his sense of poise." He pointed to the staff in its bony hand. "Hold that up straight! And quit slouching!"
The minion obediently stood up straight, and lifted the staff upwards. Much higher than Sorsa had expected, in fact. It pounded the steel imitation-ram skull right into an ornate chandelier.
Sorsa sighed.
"No, I mean keep the end without the skull on it on the ground! And hold it up straight!"
The cyber-skeleton tried to obey. Sorsa was unsurprised to note that its attempt brought the chandelier crashing to the ground.
"Yes, like that," he said, not interested in dealing with the ruined chandelier at the moment. "Now, take a step forward, but try to keep that pose as you do."
The minion obeyed, and promptly fell flat on its face.
"This is going to take some work," Sorsa groaned. "You can stop trying to hold that pose. Get up."
The skeleton stood up, inadvertently knocking over a small vase with the staff. Sorsa stared at the pieces and just shook his head.
"...Give me the staff. Eximo! Get in here!"
A bizarre vacuum cleaner rush into the chamber, carrying a broom in two of its skeletal hands, a dustpan in a third, and a washcloth in a fourth.
"This room is a mess. Clean it up."
"Order confirmed," Eximo replied.
"Now I'm going to look through the necromancy texts," the young mage grumbled. "Perhaps I can find a way to produce a more intelligent minion."
Sorsa wandered off, leaving the vacuum cleaner to its own devices.
Eximo got to work swiftly, cleaning the remnants of chandelier and vase in just two minutes.
Then it was still. Alone with the imposter Rar.
It reached into its storange compartment and pulled out a spellbook. Quickly, it flipped through to the desired page, and then gestured with its upper arms while reciting the incantation.
"Redipu tsemoc ebllah suoy!"
A dark aura surrounded the cyber-skeleton for a moment, and then faded. Eximo put the text away; its work here was done.
A few hours later, Sorsa emerged from the library, irritated.
"Nothing useful," he grumbled to himself. "Not even a temporary intelligence augment! How am I supposed to hide his disappearance at this rate?"
He continued the one-sided conversation for some time, paying little notice to the vacuum cleaner as it passed him in the hall.
"Actually, there are quite a few necromantic spells I don't remember seeing on my search," he mused. "Did I overlook them? Or did I miss a book?"
He sighed.
"I suppose I'll have to take inventory tomorrow. If the new overlord is any indication, I can't trust the help to read the list properly. Useless things."
The mage then heard a loud thumping noise nearby.
"What on earth could that be?"
He followed the noise, and found a headless cyber-skeleton in a black robe running into a wall repeatedly.
Sighing, Sorsa hurled a small fireball at the minion to put it out of its misery.
"That makes five in a month," he said resignedly. "And here I thought my ancestor built things to last."
Sorsa Rar looked over the cyber-skeleton he had just draped in a black cloak and shook his head.
"I can't expect you to pass as Konka up close, of course, but even from a distance it would raise suspicion. You lack his sense of poise." He pointed to the staff in its bony hand. "Hold that up straight! And quit slouching!"
The minion obediently stood up straight, and lifted the staff upwards. Much higher than Sorsa had expected, in fact. It pounded the steel imitation-ram skull right into an ornate chandelier.
Sorsa sighed.
"No, I mean keep the end without the skull on it on the ground! And hold it up straight!"
The cyber-skeleton tried to obey. Sorsa was unsurprised to note that its attempt brought the chandelier crashing to the ground.
"Yes, like that," he said, not interested in dealing with the ruined chandelier at the moment. "Now, take a step forward, but try to keep that pose as you do."
The minion obeyed, and promptly fell flat on its face.
"This is going to take some work," Sorsa groaned. "You can stop trying to hold that pose. Get up."
The skeleton stood up, inadvertently knocking over a small vase with the staff. Sorsa stared at the pieces and just shook his head.
"...Give me the staff. Eximo! Get in here!"
A bizarre vacuum cleaner rush into the chamber, carrying a broom in two of its skeletal hands, a dustpan in a third, and a washcloth in a fourth.
"This room is a mess. Clean it up."
"Order confirmed," Eximo replied.
"Now I'm going to look through the necromancy texts," the young mage grumbled. "Perhaps I can find a way to produce a more intelligent minion."
Sorsa wandered off, leaving the vacuum cleaner to its own devices.
Eximo got to work swiftly, cleaning the remnants of chandelier and vase in just two minutes.
Then it was still. Alone with the imposter Rar.
It reached into its storange compartment and pulled out a spellbook. Quickly, it flipped through to the desired page, and then gestured with its upper arms while reciting the incantation.
"Redipu tsemoc ebllah suoy!"
A dark aura surrounded the cyber-skeleton for a moment, and then faded. Eximo put the text away; its work here was done.
A few hours later, Sorsa emerged from the library, irritated.
"Nothing useful," he grumbled to himself. "Not even a temporary intelligence augment! How am I supposed to hide his disappearance at this rate?"
He continued the one-sided conversation for some time, paying little notice to the vacuum cleaner as it passed him in the hall.
"Actually, there are quite a few necromantic spells I don't remember seeing on my search," he mused. "Did I overlook them? Or did I miss a book?"
He sighed.
"I suppose I'll have to take inventory tomorrow. If the new overlord is any indication, I can't trust the help to read the list properly. Useless things."
The mage then heard a loud thumping noise nearby.
"What on earth could that be?"
He followed the noise, and found a headless cyber-skeleton in a black robe running into a wall repeatedly.
Sighing, Sorsa hurled a small fireball at the minion to put it out of its misery.
"That makes five in a month," he said resignedly. "And here I thought my ancestor built things to last."