You are about to start your exciting new job

> Your name is Albert Eggs, a very peculiar surname for a peculiar person who is descended from a peculiar family of peculiar careerists. Your career was determined in your toddlerhood while rustling through an office bin of your father, who's job was to pretend to be a noisy bee pestering all these stick in the mud office clerks. You have never regretted a single thing in your life since that fateful day.