Post making contest 6.0

This is update #285.

• Day 70: right okay where was I
  
• James wants another date, on the following grounds: "I feel our romance is bubbling like the soup you serve me"
  
• well uh as it happens I went off both James andthe soup the very first day I had them in my life but fuck I gotta put it on the menu
  
• oh I forgot I'm suffering the double click bug right now welp
  
• it would have been REALLY SENSIBLE TO HAVE PRACTICED THE SOUP BEFOREHAND AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• x65 PERFECT COMBO AND I DIDN'T FUCK UP THE TEXTING I AM A GOD
  
• (of FLAILING)
  
• Day 71: oh wait yeah in order to earn my fourth star I have to complete these Iron Cook challenge thingies I should maybe try one
  
• the first one wants me to serve five waves of ice cream and soda how hard can that be
  
• also what's a wave
  
• turns out a wave is eight orders (almost) at once OKAY FINE
  
• yay I did it and got $1200 for my trouble plus two shiny golden tickets of the sort I have legitimately been hoarding so far
  
• next is pizzas, burgers and beer this could be a touch trickier
  
• WHAT'S A PINEAPPLE?
  
• WHAT THE FUCK IS PESTO SAUCE AND WHY IS IT G?
  
• (disclaimer: I know what both of those are I just haven't unlocked them in this game yet)
  
• well I sure had to lean on my two admissable cock-ups there
  
• the third is pasta, wine and lasagne FUCK NO
  
• what even are those first two
  
• okay I could do pasta that's like boil shit first then pick from this decently-keyed list of ingredients maybe I'll give that a go today and see how I fare
  
• benefit to pasta: the boiling time is different to the patty cooking time for burgers so even when I had a cascade of orders come dinnertime they all ended up beautifully staggered wow
  
• x64 PERFECT COMBO
  
• Day 72: Bethany wants to help with with food sanitation on a day that the safety inspector comes so that's an easy couple of grand to drop
  
• Crazy Dave: "So you're good, but I don't think you're a good meat person" uh Dave what do you think I'm made of
  
• actually no don't answer that
  
• anyway he wants me to get a x30 combo with steaks and chicken on my menu, neither of which I serve, so bye for now Dave
  
• oh hey I can buy lemons for my fish
  
• so someone wanted one of those complicated ice creams and specifically didn't want chocolate sauce. I put chocolate sauce on by mistake, so tried to hide it under a covering of strawberry sauce... and it worked!?
  
• x65 PERFECT COMBO WHAT IS THIS
  
• Day 73: oh yeah James still exists shit
  
• THAT SOUP WAS NOT COOKED WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY SERVED IT
  
• welp
  
• oh wait it's past 2am

End of message.

Passes rule... 3?

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly*, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

*hopefully in a couple of hours?

Passes none of the rules

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

Passes none of the rules

Do we have any ideas on the current rules? I haven't really been trying to work them out.

Passes none of the rules

This is puzzle #2.

SWARM THEORY

SWARM THEORY is the correct answer to puzzle #1 "The Alphabet"! Congratulations! Just like I said to you however many days ago it was you solved it! But yeah anyway here's another puzzle because apparently I've got a special super-silly PMC puzzle round going here with a meta and everything. This one was written very quickly to replace an idea that was actually too good for this set and so may or may not be horrific. Sorry? Let's call it "Value Judgement"...

1. may contain a goddamn fuckton of inanity
   
2. real good things: dogs, cats, more dogs, more cats, puzzles maybe, sleep sometimes, bed likewise, cats again, kittens
   
3. what the?!
   
4. Wrote:
   
5. it's hush time
   
6. but anyway in case of emergency dial: seven EIGHT nine ten (or was it 3?)
   
7. posting the letter b 3008 times? oh the humanity!
   
8. xyzHEboySarE8ack
   
9. oh wait. hold up. sruix made a POST?!
   
11. bro help me out here what is this fucking flapping thing squawking about the place fuck look at that pointy yellow nose that could have my eye out
    
12. qghs cvbn lkja sdfg bert pkze vhwl tyui kpmd plaw
    
13. but seriously what are birds?! vote: Sruixan until he answers me!
    
14. oh yo what is UP?! i found out today that the sky is green in canada?! what THE fuck?!
    
15. oooooo caaaaaanaaaaaadaaaaaa let's hear it for canada as we officially welcome every single canadian to the space consortium!
    
16. fuck yes i've been wanting the nintendo switch since like when it was the NX lol
    
17. yeah NO aaaaaaaaaaargh
    
18. it's a city in the sky. of course it's magical. that should be a given what with it being a spy city and all come on
    
19. brown cows, vuvuzelas, [oil]: these are the three Rs. see also: da bomb

End of message.

Congratulations! SWARM THEORY passes rule 3!

Unrelatedly, this also passes rule 4 (impressive)

Do we have any ideas on the current rules? I haven't really been trying to work them out.

I don't think there has been any serious effort yet, though I figured I'd test our given rule 5 pass just because... I did have one theory based off of it and the fact my CSD update passed, but then I found a counterexample...

Passes rule 3.