Issue Investigator

>Insult his mother!
You call his mother a "not very cool person." Unfortunately, Bad dudes don't care about their moms so you've done nothing!
> wield dagger with shoe, dub it the knifeboot
You can't! The dagger is still stuck inside the mimic!
>Confess your undying love for him and get married
You only have one love.
The justice system.
Oh, and the happy meal too.
> Throw your hat at him!
You take off the hat and throw it towards him.

You've awoken the brain tentacles.

They have awoken.
They are hungry.

You did it!
Now how in the heck do you get out?