Murphy's Law

It would suck if you were the next thing to catch fire.

And now you're on fire. Great. On the plus side, it makes the ropes burn rather fast, letting you break out. But you're still on fire, which you probably want to do something about.

"Somebody extinguish him, you fools!" the trenchcoated man shouts. "If he burns to death, we may not be able to retrieve his brain!"

An EXPLODE agent quickly grabs a fire extinguisher and sprays you with it. Hey, this actually worked out after all! Well, except for the part that the EXPLODE agent is holding you down now, and the guy in the trenchcoat is getting up and grabbing his knife.

You're in a tight spot. Your only chance is to make it worse.

Oh man it would be really lame if one of those EXPLODE agents was your ex-girlfriend. How awkward would that be?

"We definitely cannot waste any more time," the trenchcoated man says as he comes closer. "As long as he remains conscious, he is a threat. We should remove his brain as soon as possible."

You strain your brain for a way to make this worse that doesn't involve you dying even sooner, but it's hard. All you can think of is that it would be so much worse in every way if your ex-girlfriend were here.

And then, suddenly, the agent restraining you punches the trenchcoated man in the face. Before you can process exactly what's happening, you're being dragged down the hall. The other EXPLODE agents start chasing you, but they're soon preoccupied dealing with the federal agents.

A few minutes later, you're dragged into an empty office. The EXPLODE agent locks the door, turns towards you, and takes off his mask...

Oh. Or her mask. It's your ex-girlfriend.

"Hello, Murphy," she says angrily. "I couldn't let Von Trenchcoat kill you, because frankly, you deserve far worse after what you did to me."

You're about to say something, but then the desk bursts into flames. Looks like she's also the agent who you gave latent pyrokinetic abilities to.

So, to review, the world's going to be destroyed in 24 hours, you're being hunted by both federal agents and the terrorists who are going to destroy the world, and you're currently stripped down to your underwear, badly burned, covered in fire extinguisher foam, and locked in an office with your crazed ex-girlfriend who has a gun and can set things on fire with her mind.

How can this possibly get any worse?