who do you want to be?

i guess more sincerely and more practically, i want to be happy, living with gen, and improving at my art. and i'm on the way to doing all this, i just have to keep working.

but when i think about myself, the kind of person i was as a kid and the kind of person i feel like i still am, i think about who i'd rather be:

• someone with more hard-earned skill and good work ethic
  
• someone who hasn't had severe self-loathing since 5th grade
  
• dead