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Sruixan · 11-27-2016, 04:13 AM

This is update #269.

so uh I was going to stop but I JUST GOT MY SECOND STAR SO NOPE STOPPING IS NOT HAPPENING
oh my goodness me look at my new beautiful restaurant
WE HAVE BREAD ROLLS NOW
AND SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS
THIS IS AMAZING
goodbye pretzels and corndogs you will not be missed
(worst $700 I've spent so far? well no the baked potato sure was a thing)
Day 39: how do I deal with having 71% base buzz today
(by having beer on the menu and reducing it to 68% I guess)
(also purchasing fancier menus that might help)
x86 COMBO PERFECT DAY MY POOR FINGERS
I HAD 88% BUZZ COME THE EVENING
Day 40: Crazy Dave wants me to get a x20 combo with beer on my active menu. I did more than four times that yesterday. This'll be a cinch.
(he says, upgrading the ice cream and promptly freaking out at things like "all toppings except nuts and strawberry sauce" WOULD IT NOT HAVE BEEN QUICKER TO TELL ME THE FOUR TOPPINGS YOU ACTUALLY WANT)
(it'll still be quicker than fried chicken though so I'll just have to tough it out)
excEPT I FORGOT TO ACCEPT THE BET AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
(and, uh, predictably enough proceeded to fuck up the first new ice cream order welp)
Day 41: so I would appear to have been signed up to Cook4Luv, "a program that partners up fantastic cooks with salivating diners"
"You have chosen CATEGORY: CHEF LOOKING FOR LOVE, so you will receive emails from people looking for delicious dishes and romance!" uh
that is the opposite way round to how this would have gone down irl just saying
literally the only say I get in this is whether or not I want to date men xor women so uh
(I can remember Nilesy getting a bit fed up with this too but I do believe it can be turned off and it only nets you bonus competition tickets so whatever)
THE ICE CREAM UPGRADE WAS A MISTAKE
Day 42: the new catering event is burgers and lasagne urgh
...so I have been propositioned by a chap named Mike who is a fan of burgers, a real burger aficionado, a proper burger devotee, totally addicted to burgers, absolutely 100% head-over-heels about hamburgers, cheeseburgers, steak burgers and veggie burgers. And, uh, presumably also about me. Eventually.
...yeah okay I guess I do need to practice burgers for catering after all
now that pretzels are deemed too far below me to serve in such a classy establishment as mine I don't really have a good dessert option for when I don't want to have ice cream on the menu
oh yeah the speciality foods list is a thing
should I buy pancakes
maybe tomorrow
so at about 9:15am (in-game) my brain churned out the "meat grindr" pun and I have not been able to concentrate since it is nearly the lunchtime rush hour please send help and/or brain bleach
WHY IS IT POSSIBLE TO START PLATING UP UNCOOKED BURGERS FUCKING HELL
Mike came by in the afternoon, spewing hearts everywhere. He ordered a triple patty burger with bacon and cheese and then promptly left, presumably because I shouted at him about how busy I was what with the whole single-handedly running a restaurant thing
(I am a true romantic)
GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME
so he texted me come the evening and we shot some blinding lines back and forth
Consider the following exchange, initiated by Mike: "say something romantic" "I wanna to give you mucha smoocha" "wow you write words good"
that is so much like me it's uncanny
Day 43: the game is surprisingly sparse on details regarding what happened with Mike after I clocked off, given that steamy correspondence, and that's probably for the best
looks like I'm not buying pancakes today because safety inspections are happening on days that are 3 mod 5 now jolly good
note to self: the down key is not involved at any part of the salad preparation process, and specifically cannot be substituted for onions
Day 44: today's fortune gives my animal to avoid as... the yeti
oh huh Mike wants another date well
Crazy Dave wants me to have both pizza and baked potatoes on my menu today, so he can go and do one
hmm these are more like breakfast pancakes so I might actually pass on these for now (especially 'cause it's gonna be a rainy day so ice cream automatically gets a slot)
Mike ordered a BLT-C today. How adventurous.
fucking hell Mike you chose the worst goddamn time to text me SOMEONE'S BURGER CAUGHT ON FIRE
Michael dear I'm not sure this is going to work out. It's not you, it's me. And my restaurant. That I'm running. By myself.
Day 45: so I finally bought the fries because catering events and WHY IS SALT "A"
huh it had been quite a while since I'd last overfilled a beer
Day 46: Mike's coming again. Better cover the fire alarm, 'cause things are gonna get hot in here...
(since I'm guaranteed to burn another burger if he texts me at such a dashed inconvenient hour once again)
I ACCIDENTALLY STARTED PLATING ANOTHER UNCOOKED BUUUUUURGER
Mike had the decency not to text me until 9pm tonight. He's learning.
Day 47: okay turns out I have actually been signed up to a useful mailing list after all; the kickstarter-like cliknstart. There is no second c, apparently.
I did the fries/sopapilla catering event and it was fairly dull (but hey, $625 is not to be sniffed at)
(I have to do all seven events as part of the checklist for my third star so welp)
in celebration I upgraded the fries all the way AND NOW THEY'RE SWEET POTATO FRIES THAT IS THE BEST
x65 COMBO PERFECT DAY - SUCH IS THE POWER OF THE SWEET POTATO FRIES
Day 48: Crazy Dave's current bet is to just literally serve 50 people that is not a challenge
oh here we go
yep Mike's enjoyed our time together, the burgers were great, blah blah blah, but he's moving out of town so here are some mysterious tickets his grandfather gave him
honestly I am more than happy to exchange saccharine romantic gestures for shiny paper strips of a questionable nature
uhhhhhh I put the ice cream on the menu because the forecast said rain and totally forgot I was due a safety inspection this is going to be fun
NEVERMIND x54 COMBO PERFECT DAY that was surprisingly light on patrons for some reason BUT WHATEVER
oh shit it's 4am

End of message.