Post making contest 5.0

You've been cting wful tough ltely,
Smoking * lot of cigrettes ltely,
But inside, you're just * little bby.
It's oky to sy you've got * wek spot,
You don't lwys hve to be on top.
Better to be hted
Thn loved loved loved for wht your not.

This post psses rule 5.

{NO}

This post passes rules 3, 4 and 5.

This post has [oil], right?

It wouldn't if memory serves, but at least it passes rules 2 and 5...

+++++++[>++++++++++++++++>++++++++++++>+++++>++++++++>++++++>+++++++++++++>+++++++++>+++++++++++++++<<<<<<<<-]>>>>>>.++++++++.<<<<<-.---.<++[>+++.<-]>>>>>>>--.<<<<.>.--------...++++++++.--------.>>------.--.+++++++.-----.<<<<.<<++++[>>+++++<<-]>>.+.<+.>>---.<<---.-.++++.+.>>.<<----.>--------.<+++..>++++.<.>>.<<-.+++.>>>>>>>+++.<<<<<<.<--.>>.>>++<<<<<++++[>>>>+.>.<<.<<<-]>>----.>>>>>>++.<<<<<<+++.>.>+.<+.>>>--.<+++.<<<--.>>>>++.--.<.<<<+.<----.---.<++[>+++.<-]>>>>>>++.

Nice try, but I'm afraid this only passes rules 2 and 5... even then, 5 is a bit iffy; I'm just passing it for consistency...

#My fault, sorry~...!

This post passes rule 5.

Ixcaliber

This post passes rule 2.

$$$;
(
*[=[*] *S=S=S=S=S
( !) =S*S=S=S
(/!) =! *S*S=S=S
)
! =[=] *S=S=S=S
((!)) =[=] *S=S=S=S
(!) =[=] *S=S=S=S
(!)!
$$$$
((/(/(/(/([]!/[])))))
/(((([]!/[]!)/([]!/[]!))/(([/[]!]!/([]/[]))/([/[]!]!/[/[]]!)))
/((([/[]!]!/[/[]!])/(([]/[])/([])))/((([])/([]))/(([])/([]/[]!))))))
((/(/(/(/#))))SSSSSSS

This post passes rules 2 and 5.

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm

This post passes rule 5.

1234567890!@#$%^&*()`~-_=+[]{};':",./<>?

This post passes rules 2 and 5.

I haven't eaten anything since I woke up. (I did eat, um, "breakfast" before I finally got to sleep, at least, so it could be worse.)

Clearly I need to post in the PMC before doing something about this.

This post passes rules 3 and 5.

Why has procrastination afflicted me so?

This post passes rules 2 and 5.

2.0! 2.0!

This post passes rules 2 and urgh fine 5 sure whatever.

(has started being split off)

https://eagle-time.org/showthread.php?tid=2006

This post passes rules 2 and 5.

The PMC empire spans approximately 10% of Eagle Time.

Eep! This incredibly scary post passes rules 2 and 5.

HINT: some interesting things occur during this judgement post.