Post making contest 5.0

Once in a far away land there lived a giant by the name of Oswaldo. Oswaldo was tall and hirsuite and only wore the most foul smelling cologne that he purchased from the supermarket down the road which was operated by a whole bucket of eels known as Nigels. One day a man wearing a very tall hat walked into Nigels' shop and demanded all the liquor in the land be poured into a small barrel he carried around in his spine. He was a man without remorse, without time to walk around in the daylight or the tools to purchase liquor for himself.

Oswaldo strode into the supermarket carrying his enormous club known locally as Graveltong, Slayer of The Obscene. He did not take kindly to those who would seek to extort liquids from the weak and only mildly electric. There was a time at which Oswaldo might have been the one on the other side of the counter and he recalled those lawless days with a sort of longing but not too much, not enough to become a problem. An octopus is involved in this story now, his name is AYHAGJH and he enters the story carrying a bicycle his tentacles are ill equipped to handle and his motivation in this tale is to build a more better bicycle one that can more easily propel the octopoid form around the above water land.

The man revealed himself to be a robot and he grew twelve storeys tall. Oswaldo started to climb his leg for approximately 4 minutes of time. Oil poured from the robot's open mouth as he screamed bloody vengeance for his fallen colleague and at long last we reach the culmination of this tale. Oswaldo never got the cologne that he was looking for but along the way he learned the most important treasure was actually delicious french fries that he stole from the robot's fries compartment. AYHAGJH perfected his bike and used his new found fame to cycle all the way around the kingdom. Some arsehole tipped Nigels' out of their bucket and did something obscene with it. Graveltong was put back in a museum where it belongs. The robot decided to go back to college to learn how to properly obtain liquour. And they all lived happily ever after.