Let's go vampire hunting

Guy > thank her you dummy! assuming you're able to move/speak

Yes thanks a lot you say nervously while wiping what's left of your cool costume.

"It's nothing" She responds.



"I'm sorry i mistook you for a vampire and got you in a dangerous situation"

Oh it's totes fine she didn't do anything anyway, you let her know that it's totes fine and she didn't do anything anyway.

"I'm glad" she says.

Waitress > activate pity/curiosity

"So! if you're not a vampire then what could you possibly be? A necromancer? A powerful demon-magician? An adventurous priest? Or perhaps a vampire hu-"



"Huh..."

>weep

> break down and admit you dropped out of adventuring school because it was too hard and you never told your dad and now you're trying to make him proud by pretending you got the undead hunting degree after all

I DID NOT GET MY UNDEAD HUNTING DEGREE BECAUSE LIFE IS SO HARD PLEASE DON'T TELL DAD I DROPPED OUT OF VAMPIRE HUNTING SCHOOL I WANT TO MAKE DAD PROUD AUGH WHY IS IT SO HARD DAD DO YOU STILL LOVE ME



Ahem, you mean yes you're a vampire hunter what of it babe.

"Oh a human vampire hunter, i've never met one before"



OH YEAH you were meaning to ask why this girl speaks english and you do just that.



"Oh, well my people have been universal translators for generations, we get all sorts of royalty jobs that require communication with a vast array of people from far away lands."



"I'm just starting here at the bloody burger, it is a really exciting job but i hope i can get a much more prestigious job later."

> Offer cyclops waitress a life of EXCITEMENT and TRAVEL instead of BORING WAITRESS STUFF.

Universal translator you say?!?!?! Wouldn't you like to stop pretending you like this terrible job and get an actual super exciting adventurous job as a vampire hunter sidekick what do you s-



HUH WHAT are those loud noises?!



What could be possibly going on over there?