The Official Fogel Writes Silly Things Thread

Mary and Larry

Mary and Larry were young and in love. Three minutes before they met, a nuclear reactor on the other side of the world went critical. One day, the young couple went for a walk in the park. Meanwhile, in France, terrorists blew up the Turkish embassy.
In the park, Mary and Larry saw a mother duck and her ducklings swimming in the pond. At that very moment, the evil wizard completed his ritual and summoned a fiery demon.
Mary wanted to feed the ducks, but Larry reminded her that they hadn't brought any bread. As they discussed the matter, the alien mothership emerged over South Africa and delivered their ultimatum.
Then Mary saw that there was a bakery just a block away. Suddenly, a time portal opened in Egypt and an army of knights poured out of it.
Mary and Larry went to the bakery to buy some bread. Just then, a volcano erupted in Switzerland. Mary was short on money, so Larry offered to pay for half. And then a war broke out between China and Japan.
Bread in and, Mary and Larry walked back to the park to feed the ducks. Meanwhile, an entire alternate universe exploded. The ducks quacked appreciatively as they swam towards the bread. It was then that Poseidon rose from the depths of the ocean to unleash his fury upon mankind.
Mary and Larry smiled and laughed as the ducks ate the bread. Then, without warning, the king dropped dead from the poison, and the wicked count took the throne. After feeding the ducks, Mary and Larry walked home, hand in hand, smiling at each other. They were completely unaware of the meteor strike that had just leveled an entire city block ten miles away.
It had been a good day, all in all.