Sozzletown: the thread where you use substances

i had this conversation with wheat on discord while i was under the influence^TM

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Spoiler
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:38 PM
HI IM HIGH
great - Last Wednesday at 10:38 PM
HI HIGH I'M GREAT
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:38 PM
that's great!
great - Last Wednesday at 10:39 PM
iT IS! i'M great, also you're great
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:39 PM
How can we both be the same very good, very handsome person
great - Last Wednesday at 10:39 PM
i'm a mirror
i'm from the mirror world
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:40 PM
Oh no, can I touch you to leave the matrix like morpheousuous
great - Last Wednesday at 10:40 PM
no, that's different kind of mirror
that's the anti mirror
i'm from true and proper mirrors
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:41 PM
that means you have resistance against dark mirror attacks
great - Last Wednesday at 10:43 PM
dark mirror and anti mirror are two different mirror types
dark mirror just looks like you dipped in shadow. anti-mirror shows you the opposite of what you are
so it shows you like, a houseplant, or a rock
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:44 PM
The polar opposite like in that jimmy neutrino show
What show was that, damn
great - Last Wednesday at 10:44 PM
meutron
neutron
jimmy mewtron, the show about a smart cat
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:45 PM
Okay but now there are all these mirror types in that are creating their own internal type system inside the games whole type system
What a tiny small and intelligent cat!
great - Last Wednesday at 10:46 PM
jimmy mewtron and garfield do not get along, one has a large stomach and the other has a large head
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:47 PM
and a curly queueueeu
great - Last Wednesday at 10:48 PM
whatever you do don't get a mirror-mirror type
things get all fun-house on you
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:48 PM
it'll create an even smaller type system
and therefor also a larger type system
But then you also get things like [black-mirror-mirror-dark-shadow-mirror type mirror]
because it turns out
that EVERY mirror type has just so many augments you can just tack onto it infinitely like a fractal
and you can never escape
HOLY PHUCK
it's a house of mirrors
great - Last Wednesday at 10:51 PM
it's all smoke and mirrors
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:51 PM
and smoke mirrors
great - Last Wednesday at 10:51 PM
it's neat how mirrors show you the thing you can't usually see, which is, what other people see
smoke mirror type doesn't exist. you only think it does because it looks like it.
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:52 PM
and even then its slightly wrong because it's been MIRRORED MIRRORED Mirrored... mirrored... mirrord. oorrd. ... rrd. d
No there must be a type
of smoke mirror mirrors
its infinite, remember?
I know this from physics class
ANYTHING can be a mirror if its flat enough
It took much longer for me to type that than I would like to admit
great - Last Wednesday at 10:54 PM
but it needs grease on it
actually, it only seemed like it took a while i'll bet
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:54 PM
mirror grease?
or grease mirror grease
I just doubled the number of augments there are
great - Last Wednesday at 10:55 PM
I mean the flat thing, needs something to make it shiny enough to be a mirror
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:55 PM
Wait, if grease mirror grease is a grease, and you can have black smoke grease mirror grease
Hey, here's a bold question
great - Last Wednesday at 10:56 PM
bold
wait
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:56 PM
how many "things" do you think there are
in the world
great - Last Wednesday at 10:56 PM
bold
bold
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:56 PM
italics
G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
great - Last Wednesday at 10:57 PM
no there's a way to bold things
_bold_
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:57 PM
Still going on about this BOLD thing, EH, Harold?
wait that was also italics
BOLD
G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I very carefully retyped that instead of copy/pasting it
{[({[({[({[({[({[({[({[({[({[(its two asterisks)]})]})]})]})]})]})]})]})]})]}(edited)
great - Last Wednesday at 10:59 PM
cool
whoooooa there just became much many more brackets
bold
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 10:59 PM
I'm laughing so VERY hard
great - Last Wednesday at 10:59 PM
bold
great - Last Wednesday at 11:00 PM
the amount of things there are depends on your philosophy
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:01 PM
I AM A-VERY HIGH, YEAAUSS (:
(to be read in an italian voice)
great - Last Wednesday at 11:01 PM
like for instance daoism holds that worldly "things" originate from naming
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:02 PM
I mostly mean
nouns and concepts
for every concievable language
to both human and non-human creatures and non-creatures
(including languages and non-languages)
Those things
All "THINGS"
HOW MANY ARE THERE?? WHARE ARE THE DIAMONDS??
hangs a flashlight over your head
great - Last Wednesday at 11:05 PM
buddhism holds that names of things are used only out of convenience and are a way of dividing things , distracting us from their, and our, shared true nature of oneness
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:05 PM
Nice
The thing is though (and this is also a thing) that I kept saying it would be "infinite"
But.... what if it was finite?
What's the number?
The true nature of oneness is that there is one thing that is all things, including the thing that all things are one thing
great - Last Wednesday at 11:06 PM
it isn't finite since you can always divide a thing into other things, or reconstruct them into new things
the number, that is
we don't have a neeeeed for those numbers.
that's for accounting, for keeping track of transactions, not for living
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:07 PM
But did you know that the sum of all positive integers comes out to be -12/15ths(edited)
or something
great - Last Wednesday at 11:08 PM
i think you carried a number wrong
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:08 PM
oh
great - Last Wednesday at 11:08 PM
you miscarried a number
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:08 PM
its -1/12
Its true though
Its provable and observable in the lab
great - Last Wednesday at 11:09 PM
there are other things you can prove and observe in labs
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:09 PM

great - Last Wednesday at 11:09 PM
like, for instance:
puts hand behind your ear
pulls out a quarter
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:09 PM
OH NO IM A LAUNDROMAT
great - Last Wednesday at 11:10 PM
are you a washer or a dryer
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:10 PM
You're a magic boy
I'm all of it, the whole thing
great - Last Wednesday at 11:10 PM
amazing
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:10 PM
the building that people go to to wash their laundry
to launder their clothes
that is, to say
the laundromat
also starring tom cruise and amanda bynes and michael cera
all of these people
great - Last Wednesday at 11:12 PM
do you also launder.......money
for a criminal enterprise
(that's the stinger for the movie)
laundromat, a tyler perry film
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:13 PM
i imagine the second one happens very breifly afterwards and has many more orchestra hits
great - Last Wednesday at 11:13 PM
there are tubas and trombones and trumpets and the number seven
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:13 PM
who"s playing the orchestra in an orchestra hit?(edited)
great - Last Wednesday at 11:14 PM
alex mirror
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:14 PM
what about alex antimirror
HEEERE WE GOO AGAIN!
~laughtrack~
G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
great - Last Wednesday at 11:15 PM
plays laughtrack through an audio mirror, aka the yak bak
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:15 PM
that's very marketable
we could sell all these audio mirrors
and create an enterprise
it turns out the final frontier was finance
great - Last Wednesday at 11:18 PM
it's already been done sadly
the "cave"
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:18 PM
that's a terrible name for an audio mirror product
great - Last Wednesday at 11:18 PM
and the "portable cave" aka a walkman or a conch shell or a yak bak
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:19 PM
Wait, so was yak bak
great - Last Wednesday at 11:19 PM

JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:19 PM
Ours was bad too!
THAT'S A MIRROR?
HOW MANY AUGEMTS DOES IT HAVE CHEESUS CRUST
great - Last Wednesday at 11:19 PM
you press say and then say a thing, then you press play, and it plays back what you say
this one could say it backwards OR forwards

JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:20 PM
That was a very rhythmic sentence
great - Last Wednesday at 11:20 PM
sentence rhythmic very a was that(edited)
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:21 PM
Okay this entire time I've been getting vibes off of you like an old friend I had
great - Last Wednesday at 11:21 PM
ecnetens cimhtyhr yrev a saw taht
which vibes, which friend
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:21 PM
This is very good doog yrev si sihT(edited)
good vibes, a friend that I still have actually
you talk the saaaaame way.
and talk i mean type
great - Last Wednesday at 11:23 PM
well that's good
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:23 PM
and I have no idea why I would even realize this because WHY THE FUC
THAT'S REALLY DUMB
I'M REALLY REALLY DUMB RIGHT NOW!
great - Last Wednesday at 11:23 PM
well, i've been typing, so that makes sense
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:23 PM
eyyyy
great - Last Wednesday at 11:23 PM
your words, are like a mirror for the things I'm saying in that way
and vice versa
conversations are a word mirror
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:24 PM
The message is relayed back and forth
just like real computers
in a real computer world
what is there to say about conversation mirrors
and the thing that all things are things is a thing that has precisely 1563562666626 things below it in the scale of how large a thing is
in thing-mass
great - Last Wednesday at 11:25 PM
the things being said
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:26 PM
who is being
who aaaare they really...
........behind that MASK of theirs....?
great - Last Wednesday at 11:27 PM
they're the person they are.
that's who
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:33 PM
WHile I was downstairs getting ovaltine and grapes, as one does
Not ONLY did I put twice as much ovaltine in my drink that I usually do
But I invented a new thing...
....ownership.
Its probably better to say that I discovered it
But..... ownership is the thing....
that a thing can own another thing
Not to be confused with the thing known as potential ownership
That is, the thing that all things can potentially own other things
great - Last Wednesday at 11:36 PM
or, you can only sort-of own things, in title
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:36 PM
That's another thing
great - Last Wednesday at 11:36 PM
because no thing truly belongs to any other thing
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:36 PM
It's a part of a smaller subset of things
I must bring my findings to the journal of things, to be published!
slams fist on table
Slamming your fist on a table is such a primitive movement
I mean, look at it
great - Last Wednesday at 11:38 PM
i can't.
i can't look.
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:38 PM
URRHRGH
*slams fist on table
It's just a wild animal movement
great - Last Wednesday at 11:40 PM
still didn't catch it
you'll have to try again
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:40 PM
You may be fooled into thinking that it's an authoratative, decisive, or even intimidating expression
GGRUUHHGH
slams fist on table
but here's why that's wrong
in the animal kingdom, such a movement would only be used to express or communicate the same things!
that is, decision, power, authority, intimidation, etc
great - Last Wednesday at 11:42 PM
what if I slammed the fist upward under the table, so it wasn't seen
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:43 PM
the table would jump
That could possibly be considered tactical
But it could be interpreted as a primitive gesture in the right context
But then again, hand slamming on top could be just the same
so by the same logic
slamming the fist on the bottom of the table is just as primitive
great - Last Wednesday at 11:45 PM
what if I were to say that I didn't make the noise?
and that a ghost did it?
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:46 PM
I have finished my ovaltine and im sad
Okay that would work
but only if you got up and backed away from the table, looking left and right just as soon as everyone at the table turned to look at you
I'll strike you that deal
great - Last Wednesday at 11:47 PM
Good. my tactical genius is shining through
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:48 PM
Your bad trying to hide it is what makes this mirror not augmented with primitive
All things are mirrors, didn't you know
There is a subtle distinction between things and mirrors, don't you know
I will need to write this down when I "wake up"
because I have created a universe of things and mirrors
great - Last Wednesday at 11:51 PM
you already have it written down
on the internet
the inernet mirrors the things you write and hit enter on your keyboard with
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:52 PM
The internet is all smoke and mirrors don't you know
or does it only look like it...?
G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
great - Last Wednesday at 11:53 PM
whoa
i'm gotten
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:53 PM
that's the fourth time
"G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !" may only be used in appropriate scenarios
during which we call "G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !" moments
Our top scientists are finding a way
to nail those "G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !" moments good
so that we may place more "G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !s"
great - Last Wednesday at 11:55 PM
once they do, they' will "G-G-G-G-G-have them".
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:56 PM
Let's hear it folks, a classic "G-G-G-G-G-have them" moment!
A beautiful play!
"G-G-G-G-G-have thems" are more used with sport and recreation
and are taken less seriously by the public
Still today, the "G-G-G-G-G-have them" fans have found their way in this world, with deep traditions and rich.... culture
great - Last Wednesday at 11:58 PM
a frazzled executive rifles through stacks of papers and clipboards, trying to figure out what's happened to the brand
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:58 PM
(Burns, 1990)
This documentary is now a spy action spiff of jumanji(edited)
You know, randy! Just a spiff!
great - Last Wednesday at 11:59 PM
spiff
JWatch - Last Wednesday at 11:59 PM
SHould I go get more ovaltine, y/n
it consumes milk
great - Last Wednesday at 11:59 PM
you could
I will, probably, have to go to sleep soon though...
September 29, 2016
great - Last Thursday at 12:00 AM
:<
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:00 AM
This is a sad time for wheatlands
Well, there's always next season! Ha ha ha...
audience cheers
great - Last Thursday at 12:00 AM
audience erupts into flames
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:01 AM
they don't stop cheering though, but they melt and die horrific deaths while still feigning excitement and joy through botox and SATAN(edited)
great - Last Thursday at 12:01 AM
a happy ending(edited)
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:02 AM
Awwwww!
great - Last Thursday at 12:02 AM
OWWWWW!
it's happy pain.
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:03 AM
harp plays in the background as curtains, a carboard cutout of a child in bed with a sleeping cap and the moon shining through the window are rolled into the scene(edited)
voice over is heard
The cat is asleep...
The dog is asleep...
Even the little mouse is asleep.
Brother and sister,
Ma, and pa,
all lay in bed with their heads on a pillow.
But not little Jefferson, oh what a naughty boy!
Crawled out of bed to go get more ovaltine after curfew
great - Last Thursday at 12:06 AM
Beach ertwo'd rinkyor ovaltine
good night!!!
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:07 AM
what tongue is this script
also goodnight
great - Last Thursday at 12:07 AM
the kind that is in a person's mouth
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:07 AM
also i decoded it
it was a very disappointing message
I'll leave you be if you want <3
great - Last Thursday at 12:08 AM
No no!
I just have to sleep
because I have to be up in 5 hours
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:08 AM
You're tryin to sleep but I just keep on talkin'!
great - Last Thursday at 12:08 AM
CONGRATULATIONS ON DECODING! :partly_sunny: :tophat: :confetti_ball: :champagne: :champagne_glass:
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:09 AM
But would not that be a good thing if you were to get more sleep as a result?
Oh man, I'm so honored
I'd like to thank my dog pickles
named after my mom's car
and that's all
great - Last Thursday at 12:09 AM
good dog
good car
:dog2: :blue_car:
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:10 AM
The car gets extra car treats today for being such a GOOD BOY
great - Last Thursday at 12:10 AM
pets car
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:10 AM
it revvs a little
great - Last Thursday at 12:10 AM
make sure your car does all their business outside! no tire tracks on the carpet
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:11 AM
ugh, can you believe what people are letting their cars DO these days?
The entire planet is changing climate! I can't believe people don't clean up their pets' carbon emmissions
great - Last Thursday at 12:11 AM
No!!! In fact I have not even heard what they are doing!
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:11 AM
Put a plug on it!!!!
great - Last Thursday at 12:12 AM
Oh that, yeah, there should be some sort of clean lawn ordinance.
If you take your car for a walk, then you gotta scoop the CO2
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:12 AM
Carbon emmissions here, carbon emmissions there...
you can't just dig up fossil fuels and give them to your cars, either!
It's bad for them, and makes their waste extra icky!
Maybe THAT'S why people are so afraid of cleaning up after their cars!
UGHGH! PEOPLE....
great - Last Thursday at 12:14 AM
there are amish communities near where im from who rely on horse buggies
the horses poop in the streets and they don't pick up the poop, because that's horses for ya!
it's messy
extra messy at hitching posts
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:15 AM
Dang! Them horses...
Really giving us plenty of G-G-G-G-G-GOTCHA!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! moments
great - Last Thursday at 12:17 AM
the things we g-g-got is poop
lots o horse poop
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:20 AM
st jimothy's OSTENTATIONAL phantastic horse car poop cleaning company(edited)
great - Last Thursday at 12:21 AM
patent it and sell it to the venture capital firm
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:21 AM
There are so many choose!
How do I even begin?
great - Last Thursday at 12:21 AM
HOW do you??
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:22 AM
Well, I already know why i do it
where i do it
who does it and what i do
and so the question remains:
just HOW is it done?
great - Last Thursday at 12:23 AM
You take it, and you put a stamp on it, and send it on its way!!!!!!!!!!
:police_car:
:alarm_clock:
:cool: :cooking:
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:24 AM
DING! :thumbsup:(edited)
You're ready to go!
Don't forget to include a return address!
Both video and violin plucking increase in speed
Until the final note is played and the infomercial fades to black(edited)
great - Last Thursday at 12:26 AM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:26 AM
...Whoops!
Sorry folks!
image rewinds as music begins again
Make sure that your package contains no hazardous materials, such as batteries, perfumes, chemicals, dangerous gasses, bright lights, and flash photography
great - Last Thursday at 12:28 AM
opens package
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:28 AM
If something were to spill, and a citizen harmed,
great - Last Thursday at 12:28 AM
a flash comes out
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:28 AM
You are the one to blame!
great - Last Thursday at 12:29 AM
i'm sorry ocifer
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:29 AM
You a warrant for your arrest will then be made
and instead of sending fun and games to your relatives,
you're going to DIRTY BAD CRIMINAL HIPPIE PRISON
great - Last Thursday at 12:30 AM
hippie prison, which is between millenial prison and beatnik prison
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:31 AM
the scene switches to a short string of closeups at wacky angles at people walking down the sidewalk in a big prison, answering questions given to them by people with cameras and microphones
"Hey! How much is postage for this anyways?"
"You gotta have the right size box, you know!"
"What's a stamp? Do any of you guys know what a stamp is?"(edited)
Also some rad electric guitar and mild drumming
great - Last Thursday at 12:33 AM
i don't know what a stamp is
i lied earlier when I said i used a stamp
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:34 AM
you used a stamp?
More camras rush around you, and you are surrounded by many microphones from different news networks
SIr, did you know who sold the stamps?
"What do you say in response to the allegations?"
great - Last Thursday at 12:36 AM
I didn't use a stamp. I lied earlier when I said I used a stamp.
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:36 AM
The same thing happens, like activating a cheat code or something. This place is starting to get a little congested
"Where are the diamonds, sir?"
"Would you like to buy a vowel?"(edited)
great - Last Thursday at 12:37 AM
I lied earlier when I said I used a stamp.
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:38 AM
More of them come. They're so close together now, they have begun to clip into each other, like atoms in a neutron star
*Sources say that there is an agreement. Is this true?"
"Woah, you go, big guy!"
great - Last Thursday at 12:39 AM
I lied earlier when I said I used a stamp.
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:39 AM
you failed the rhythm cue
im sorry
.
great - Last Thursday at 12:40 AM
I lied earlier when I said I used a stamp.
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:40 AM
Hello? Operator? Is that you?
I'd like to order a pizza.
Phone makes a hang up beeping tone
Hello?
great - Last Thursday at 12:42 AM
I lied, earlier. WHen I said i used a S T A M P
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:42 AM
Oh yeah the cheat code
you've achieved critical mass several times over now
great - Last Thursday at 12:43 AM
it turns out the cheating was in me all along
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:43 AM
What a cheap and dirty, but useful trick
Cheating, that
What a show
golf clap
great - Last Thursday at 12:44 AM
:clap:
:golf:
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:45 AM
:golfer:
i was hoping for a hole-in-one emoji
but that's actually more like a google hangouts sticker
great - Last Thursday at 12:45 AM
:hole: :flag_in: :one:
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:45 AM
damn
ive been gotcha'd
great - Last Thursday at 12:46 AM
g...g...........gotch
a
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:46 AM
its okay, you tried your best
great - Last Thursday at 12:47 AM
:dizzy_face:
:relieved:
:sleeping:
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:47 AM
me too
great - Last Thursday at 12:47 AM
good night good friend!
JWatch - Last Thursday at 12:47 AM
good night fair friend!
the good and fair friend bros
GOODNIGHT
great - Last Thursday at 12:49 AM
gight!!!!!
:sleeping_accommodation: :hibiscus: