Destroy the Big Bad

IT'S TIME FOR THE REAL POST

Huge Bad throws a rock at Dracula.

*Dracula catches the rock with his cat-like reflexes and crushes it*

"Tisk tisk tisk, you'll have to try harder than that."

NEPTUNE GETS SMALLER

Charge 1

*Dracula seems to not yet notice*

I play Town Map, revealing my prize cards. Three fighting energy, two grass energy, and a foil Battle Reporter. I attach a Grass energy to Tangela and have Pidgey use Peck.

*Dracula take [1] damage and scuffs*

"Ha! Beginner's mistake, I play "Abaddon's fire"! Sending Town Map to your discard pile and causing all your monsters [100] Damage!!"

Dracula holds [5] cards in his left hand

I use my Last Resort to summon the Last Resort, an upscale beachside hotel

You summon the Last Resort on top of you, crushing and effectively killing you

The idyllic 'Last Resort' has everything you could want and more! Everything from a gym complete with treadmill, to a 1½ ft deep pool, to a "culinary chef", yes sir if you want it we got it. Visit the Last Resort today!

The city was in lockdown. Doors were closed. Piles of burnt corn rolled about the streets. Houses no longer rearranged as they were supposed to.

As I walked around, it was clear that this was not how it normally was.

To a tourist from outside, even this absolute silence would be overtly strange, obviously wrong.

I reached around for my watering canister, and shook it vigorously until its external snakes decided to fetch me some liquid. Thirst quenched for now, I advanced forward in search of some sort of - any sort of reputable or respectable station.

But as time went by, my legs began to shake.

These streets were too long - the corn was too much to trudge through - my legs were folding together.

Then, I saw it: The bus stop.

I took a seat, glad at finding a remedy. At last - I could rest, and find something interesting in this pointless place!

The bus was taking its time.

Any minute... any hour now?

Hm - maybe I've got to pay my ticket beforehand.

Hey, you're sitting beside me, right? Please tell me, if you know...

How much the bus costs?

Oh! Thank you.

It costs five pieces?

Thanks for the -

Thanks,

Tha - thanks,

T_h^aNks ^F_OR the [B]US FARE.

[The change was completed.]

You have taken the bus, the next stop is in [*] turn(s), until then, all of you actions will be performed on the bus.


*Dracula slaps Shredded out of the air*

"Stop this foolishness!"

Your AGILITY is too low

I emerge from Room 308 as a ghost, as all lost souls are wont to do in the Last Resort's vicinity

Then I head on down to the lagoon pool

You now are a ghost, you can pass through walls and your attacks are spectral by default

The five hands exploded out of its face, grappling Dracula. Teeth slowly inched out of every pore, some clattering to the ground, the others chattering against seeming emptiness.

BUS FARE. GIVE ME THE BUS FARE.

About it, the houses raged.

Although he can't directly feel it, Dracula feel a disturbance though out his body.

I do laps in the pool

You gain [1] AGILITY

NEPTUNE GETS SMALLER

Charge: 2

*Dracula feel something... But it passes*

I cast... magic missile.

"Ah!"

*Dracula throws up his cape to cover his body*

The explosion causes [5] damage.

"You fool, you will regret your actions!"

NEPTUNE GETS SMALLER

*Dracula looks at his palm, the alchemical symbol grows red and begins to rash, but he shakes it off*

The price of bus fare has risen.

*Dracula's chest burns like a hot fire-brand*

"AH!"

*He unbuttons he's shirt to see "bus fare" written in a long dead language burned into his body."

"My God!"

*Dracula gains [b]"The Curse of Bus Fare"*

ting ting ting
ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting ting
TING!

ting ting ting
ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting
ting ting ting ting ting
TING!

(a52 theme song)

I ride up on my tricycle, dinging the bell to this tune.

"Ha! Another fool!"

watching

price of bus fareကခဂဃငစဆဇဈဉညဋဌဍဎဏတထဒဓနပဖဗဘမယရလဝသဟဠအဢဣဤဥဦဧဨဩဪါာိီုူေဲဳဴဵံ့း္်ျြွှဿ၊။၌၍၎၏ၐၑၒၓၔၕၖၗၘၙၚၛၜၝၞၟၠၡၢၣၤၥၦၧၨၩၪၫၬၭၮၯၰၱၲၳၴၵၶၷၸၹၺၻၼၽၾၿႀႁႂႃႄႅႆႇႈႉႊႋႌႍႎႏႚႛႜႝ႞႟ႠႡႢႣႤႥႦႧႨႩႪႫႬႭႮႯႰႱႲႳႴႵႶႷႸႹႺႻႼႽႾႿჀჁჂჃჄჅჇაბგდევზთიკლმნოპჟრსტუფქღყშჩცძწჭხჯჰჱჲჳჴჵჶჷჸჹჺ჻ჼჽჾჿᄀᄁᄂᄃᄄᄅᄆᄇᄈᄉᄊᄋᄌᄍᄎᄏᄐᄑᄒᄓᄔᄕᄖᄗᄘᄙᄚᄛᄜᄝᄞᄟᄠᄡᄢᄣᄤᄥᄦᄧᄨᄩᄪᄫᄬᄭᄮᄯᄰᄱᄲᄳᄴᄵᄶᄷᄸᄹᄺᄻᄼᄽᄾᄿᅀᅁᅂᅃᅄᅅᅆᅇᅈᅉᅊᅋᅌᅍᅎᅏᅐᅑᅒᅓᅔᅕᅖᅗᅘᅙᅚᅛᅜᅝᅞᅟᅠᅡᅢᅣᅤᅥᅦᅧᅨᅩᅪᅫᅬᅭᅮᅯᅰᅱᅲᅳᅴᅵᅶᅷᅸᅹᅺᅻᅼᅽᅾᅿᆀᆁᆂᆃᆄᆅᆆᆇᆈᆉᆊᆋᆌᆍᆎᆏᆐᆑᆒᆓᆔᆕᆖᆗᆘᆙᆚᆛᆜᆝᆞᆟᆠᆡᆢᆣᆤᆥᆦᆧᆨᆩᆪᆫᆬᆭᆮᆯᆰᆱᆲᆳᆴᆵᆶᆷᆸᆹᆺᆻᆼᆽᆾᆿᇀᇁᇂᇃᇄᇅᇆᇇᇈᇉᇊᇋᇌᇍᇎᇏᇐᇑᇒᇓᇔᇕᇖᇗᇘᇙᇚᇛᇜᇝᇞᇟᇠᇡᇢᇣᇤᇥᇦᇧᇨᇩᇪᇫᇬᇭᇮᇯᇰᇱᇲᇳᇴᇵᇶᇷᇸᇹᇺᇻᇼᇽᇾᇿ
ሀሁሂሃሄህሆሇለሉሊላሌልሎሏሐሑሒሓሔሕሖሗመሙሚማሜምሞሟሠሡሢሣሤሥሦሧረሩሪራሬርሮሯሰሱሲሳሴስሶሷሸሹሺሻሼሽሾሿቀቁቂቃቄቅቆቇቈቊቋቌቍቐቑቒቓቔቕቖቘቚቛቜቝበቡቢባቤብቦቧቨቩቪቫቬቭቮቯተቱቲታቴትቶቷቸቹቺቻቼችቾቿኀኁኂኃኄኅኆኇኈኊኋኌኍነኑኒናኔንኖኗኘኙኚኛኜኝኞኟአኡኢኣኤእኦኧከኩኪካኬክኮኯኰኲኳኴኵኸኹኺኻኼኽኾዀዂዃዄዅወዉዊዋዌውዎዏዐዑዒዓዔዕዖዘዙዚዛዜዝዞዟዠዡዢዣዤዥዦዧየዩዪያዬይዮዯደዱዲዳዴድዶዷዸዹዺዻዼዽዾዿጀጁጂጃጄጅጆጇገጉጊጋጌግጎጏጐ጑ጒጓጔጕጘጙጚጛጜጝጞጟጠጡጢጣጤጥጦጧጨጩጪጫጬጭጮጯጰጱጲጳጴጵጶጷጸጹጺጻጼጽጾጿፀፁፂፃፄፅፆፇፈፉፊፋፌፍፎፏፐፑፒፓፔፕፖፗፘፙፚ፝፞፟፠፡።፣፤፥፦፧፨፩፪፫፬፭፮፯፰፱፲፳፴፵፶፷፸፹፺፻፼ᎀᎁᎂᎃᎄᎅᎆᎇᎈᎉᎊᎋᎌᎍᎎᎏ᎐᎑᎒᎓᎔᎕᎖᎗᎘᎙ᎣᎤᎥᎦᎧᎨᎩᎭᎮᎯᎰᎱᎲᎴᎶᎸᎹᎺᎼᎽᎾᎿᏁᏂᏄᏅᏆᏇᏈᏉᏊᏋᏌᏍᏏᏐᏑᏓᏔᏕᏖᏗᏘᏛᏜᏝᏠᏡᏣᏤᏥᏧᏨᏪᏫᏬᏭᏮᏯᏰᏱᏲᏳ
᐀ᐁᐂᐃᐄᐅᐆᐇᐈᐉᐊᐋᐌᐍᐎᐏᐐᐑᐒᐓᐔᐕᐖᐗᐘᐙᐚᐛᐜᐝᐞᐟᐠᐡᐢᐣᐤᐥᐦᐧᐨᐩᐪᐫᐬᐭᐮᐯᐰᐱᐲᐳᐴᐵᐶᐷᐸᐹᐺᐻᐼᐽᐾᐿᑀᑁᑂᑃᑄᑅᑆᑇᑈᑉᑊᑋᑌᑍᑎᑏᑐᑑᑒᑓᑔᑕᑖᑗᑘᑙᑚᑛᑜᑝᑞᑟᑠᑡᑢᑣᑤᑥᑦᑧᑨᑩᑪᑫᑬᑭᑮᑯᑰᑱᑲᑳᑴᑵᑶᑷᑸᑹᑺᑻᑼᑽᑾᑿᒀᒁᒂᒃᒄᒅᒆᒇᒈᒉᒊᒋᒌᒍᒎᒏᒐᒑᒒᒓᒔᒕᒖᒗᒘᒙᒚᒛᒜᒝᒞᒟᒠᒡᒢᒣᒤᒥᒦᒧᒨᒩᒪᒫᒬᒭᒮᒯᒰᒱᒲᒳᒴᒵᒶᒷᒸᒹᒺᒻᒼᒽᒾᒿᓀᓁᓂᓃᓄᓅᓆᓇᓈᓉᓊᓋᓌᓍᓎᓏᓐᓑᓒᓓᓔᓕᓖᓗᓘᓙᓚᓛᓜᓝᓞᓟᓠᓡᓢᓣᓤᓥᓦᓧᓨᓩᓪᓫᓬᓭᓮᓯᓰᓱᓲᓳᓴᓵᓶᓷᓸᓹᓺᓻᓼᓽᓾᓿᔀᔁᔂᔃᔄᔅᔆᔇᔈᔉᔊᔋᔌᔍᔎᔏᔐᔑᔒᔓᔔᔕᔖᔗᔘᔙᔚᔛᔜᔝᔞᔟᔠᔡᔢᔣᔤᔥᔦᔧᔨᔩᔪᔫᔬᔭᔮᔯᔰᔱᔲᔳᔴᔵᔶᔷᔸᔹᔺᔻᔼᔽᔾᔿᕀᕁᕂᕃᕄᕅᕆᕇᕈᕉᕊᕋᕌᕍᕎᕏᕐᕑᕒᕓᕔᕕᕖᕗᕘᕙᕚᕛᕜᕝᕞᕟᕠᕡᕢᕣᕤᕥᕦᕧᕨᕩᕪᕫᕬᕭᕮᕯᕰᕱᕲᕳᕴᕵᕶᕷᕸᕹᕺᕻᕼᕽᕾᕿᖀᖁᖂᖃᖄᖅᖆᖇᖈᖉᖊᖋᖌᖍᖎᖏᖐᖑᖒᖓᖔᖕᖖᖗᖘᖙᖚᖛᖜᖝᖞᖟᖠᖡᖢᖣᖤᖥᖦᖧᖨᖩᖪᖫᖬᖭᖮᖯᖰᖱᖲᖳᖴᖵᖶᖷᖸᖹᖺᖻᖼᖽᖾᖿᗀᗁᗂᗃᗄᗅᗆᗇᗈᗉᗊᗋᗌᗍᗎᗏᗐᗑᗒᗓᗔᗕᗖᗗᗘᗙᗚᗛᗜᗝᗞᗟᗠᗡᗢᗣᗤᗥᗦᗧᗨᗩᗪᗫᗬᗭᗮᗯᗰᗱᗲᗳᗴᗵᗶᗷᗸᗹᗺᗻᗼᗽᗾ

[i]*Dracula's chest burns*

The Curse grows

Guess it's time to start over from the top?

Okay then!

---

One
    A Poem


        A Raven

Midnights so dreary, tired and weary,
    Silently pondering volumes extolling all by-now obsolete lore.
During my rather long nap - the weirdest tap!
    An ominous vibrating sound disturbing my chamber's antedoor.
        "This", I whispered quietly, "I ignore".

Perfectly, the intellect remembers: the ghostly fires, a glittering ember.
    Inflamed by lightning's outbursts, windows cast penumbras upon this floor.
Sorrowful, as one mistreated, unhappy thoughts I heeded:
    That inimitable lesson in elegance - Lenore -
        Is delighting, exciting...nevermore.

Ominously, curtains parted (my serenity outsmarted),
    And fear overcame my being - the fear of "forevermore".
Fearful foreboding abided, selfish sentiment confided,
    As I said, "Methinks mysterious traveler knocks afore.
        A man is visiting, of age threescore."

Taking little time, briskly addressing something: "Sir," (robustly)
    "Tell what source originates clamorous noise afore?
Disturbing sleep unkindly, is it you a-tapping, so slyly?
    Why, devil incarnate!--" Here completely unveiled I my antedoor--
        Just darkness, I ascertained - nothing more.

While surrounded by darkness then, I persevered to clearly comprehend.
    I perceived the weirdest dream...of everlasting "nevermores".
Quite, quite, quick nocturnal doubts fled - such relief! - as my intellect said,
    (Desiring, imagining still) that perchance the apparition was uttering a whispered "Lenore".
        This only, as evermore.

Silently, I reinforced, remaining anxious, quite scared, afraid,
    While intrusive tap did then come thrice - O, so stronger than sounded afore.
"Surely" (said silently) "it was the banging, clanging window lattice."
    Glancing out, I quaked, upset by horrors hereinbefore,
        Perceiving: a "nevermore".

Completely disturbed, I said, "Utter, please, what prevails ahead.
    Repose, relief, cessation, or but more dreary 'nevermores'?"
The bird intruded thence - O, irritation ever since! -
    Then sat on Pallas' pallid bust, watching me (I sat not, therefore),
        And stated "nevermores".

Bemused by raven's dissonance, my soul exclaimed, "I seek intelligence;
    Explain thy purpose, or soon cease intoning forlorn 'nevermores'!"
"Nevermores", winged corvus proclaimed - thusly was a raven named?
    Actually maintain a surname, upon Pluvious seashore?
        I heard an oppressive "nevermore".

My sentiments extremely pained, to perceive an utterance so plain,
    Most interested, mystified, a meaning I hoped for.
"Surely," said the raven's watcher, "separate discourse is wiser.
    Therefore, liberation I'll obtain, retreating heretofore -
        Eliminating all the 'nevermores' ".

Still, the detestable raven just remained, unmoving, on sculptured bust.
    Always saying "never" (by a red chamber's door).
A poor, tender heartache maven - a sorrowful bird - a raven!
    O, I wished thoroughly, forthwith, that he'd fly heretofore.
        Still sitting, he recited "nevermores".

The raven's dirge induced alarm - "nevermore" quite wearisome.
    I meditated: "Might its utterances summarize of a calamity before?"
O, a sadness was manifest - a sorrowful cry of unrest;
    "O," I thought sincerely, "it's a melancholy great - furthermore,
        Removing doubt, this explains 'nevermores' ".

Seizing just that moment to sit - closely, carefully, advancing beside it,
    Sinking down, intrigued, where velvet cushion lay afore.
A creature, midnight-black, watched there - it studied my soul, unawares.
    Wherefore, explanations my insight entreated for.
        Silently, I pondered the "nevermores".

"Disentangle, nefarious bird! Disengage - I am disturbed!"
    Intently its eye burned, raising the cry within my core.
"That delectable Lenore - whose velvet pillow this was, heretofore,
    Departed thence, unsettling my consciousness therefore.
        She's returning - that maiden - aye, nevermore."

Since, to me, that thought was madness, I renounced continuing sadness.
    Continuing on, I soundly, adamantly forswore:
"Wretch," (addressing blackbird only) "fly swiftly - emancipate me!"
    "Respite, respite, detestable raven - and discharge me, I implore!"
        A ghostly answer of: "nevermore".

" 'Tis a prophet? Wraith? Strange devil? Or the ultimate evil?"
    "Answer, tempter-sent creature!", I inquired, like before.
"Forlorn, though firmly undaunted, with 'nevermores' quite indoctrinated,
    Is everything depressing, generating great sorrow evermore?
        I am subdued!", I then swore.

In answer, the raven turned - relentless distress it spurned.
    "Comfort, surcease, quiet, silence!" - pleaded I for.
"Will my (abusive raven!) sorrows persist unabated?
    Nevermore Lenore respondeth?", adamantly I encored.
        The appeal was ignored.

"O, satanic inferno's denizen -- go!", I said boldly, standing then.
    "Take henceforth loathsome "nevermores" - O, to an ugly Plutonian shore!
Let nary one expression, O bird, remain still here, replacing mirth.
    Promptly leave and retreat!", I resolutely swore.
        Blackbird's riposte: "nevermore".

So he sitteth, observing always, perching ominously on these doorways.
    Squatting on the stony bust so untroubled, O therefore.
Suffering stark raven's conversings, so I am condemned, subserving,
    To a nightmare cursed, containing miseries galore.
        Thus henceforth, I'll rise (from a darkness, a grave) -- nevermore!

                        -- Allanpoe, E.

Charge 1

*Dracula claps*

"A classic, but what are you planing?"

*Dracula is sure something is wrong...*

I emerge from the cerulean depths (not actually that deep, the resort's pool is designed to resemble a natural lagoon with soft, sloping floors), ectoplasm shimmering gently. I find a deckchair, shaded not by an umbrella but by the looming bulk of the Big Bad who's just kind of chilling over there beside the Last Resort.

I order a strawberry daquiri and don a pair of ghost-shades so I can check out the poolside eye candy without people catching on to my lowkey ghost-ogling.

ᐖ

*You do that.*

I play Tropius to my bench and attach a Fighting energy to it, and then have Spearow use Peck again.

*Dracula takes another [1] damage*

"I play 'Black Stone' on your Spearow, which will kill it in [4] turns."

SANTAR CLOGemerges from the deeps. . .

it is XMUX.....



drain clog: 10000000/10000000

*Dracula sweats nervously*

"Oh! Santa Clux, I didn't know you would be joining us so soon!"

*Dracula fears Santa Clux*

My strawberry daquiri is almost as good as all these beach bods. THanks for askin

You gain +20 relaxation

NEPTUNE GETS SMALLER

Charge: 6

*Dracula's palms itch too much to ignore, he looks up into the sky and uses his "Dracula Vision™" to see Neptune, and it's shrinking!!!

"The source of my power!! Shit!!"

too bad.

neptune gets smaller

Charge: 89403826940573904900837

"Oh, FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I evolve Nincada into Shedinja, and equip it with the Giant Cape, giving it +20 HP. I play Professor's Letter, and search my deck for two grass energy, one of which I equip to Tropius. I shuffle my deck. Spearow uses peck again.

*Dracula slams the table in half, cards go all over the place*

"I tire of this foolishness!!"

Dracula
92/100 HP
10/100 The Curse of Bus Fare
Magic: Low