THE GRAND SWITCH [ROUND 1: iGHETTO]

“Hello, thank you for holding. This is iGhetto technical support, my name is Ted. How can I help you today?”
“It’s snowing.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Yeah. The weather report said that it would be overcast today. Also it’s summer. I don’t think it should be snowing.”
“Um, yeah. You’re right. It shouldn’t be. Where are you right now?”
“Outside of a coffee shop. I think I’m near Camera #26?”
“Hold on, I’ll have somebody take a look at that.”
Ted put the caller on hold. There really shouldn’t be snow. It shouldn’t even be possible for there to be snow, in fact. During the summer months they don’t even put the artificial snow mix in the weather generators. There’s no point to it. So either that guy has some other problem, or somebody screwed up. He arrived at one of the monitoring stations. There was a note on the desk.
‘Out to lunch.’ Of course. Never mind that everybody else had lunch an hour ago. Oh well. He knew how to use the security devices well enough. Well enough to find the camera he needed anyways. Zero-Two-Six. The scene appeared in front of him. Visible was the man on his cell phone, who apparently noticed the green light turn on, and waved towards the camera. The monitoring lights were set to turn on by default, but could easily be set to stay off for secret monitoring. In this case, getting the attention of the man helped him confirm that it was the right camera. Also visible was the support issue. It was, in fact snowing. Flipping through a few random cameras, he noticed the snowing was localized around the area. Cameras 25 to 31 were all caught in the snow as well. That would be Weather Biome 3. Always had troubles with that one, but not usually ‘snow-in-summer’ troubles. He picked up the nearby phone and called one of their technicians.
“This is Dale. How can I help you?”
“Hey, Dale. This is Ted from Tech Support. Weather Biome 3 is on the fritz.”
“Again? I just fixed it yesterday!”
“Shit, I hope we don’t need to get it replaced. Big expensive equipment replacements mean pay cuts. Anyways, it’s snowing. I don’t think that’s right.”
“...You’re kidding, right?”
“I didn’t think it was likely at first, but I checked the cameras. Snow. Can you just take a look at the systems and give me an ETA on repair for my caller?”
“Alright, I’ll take a look.”
There was a moment of silence on the phone while Dale presumably was looking at the system info.
“Uh, the biome is fine.”
“Sorry?”
“There’s no artificial snow in the system, and it doesn’t have any output right now. It’s not even generating a light breeze. It’s just pulling a normal overcast. Your problem is not with the biome. I’ll have my boys look at what else could be causing the issue. I’ll call you up if I figure it out.”
“Yeah. Sure. Talk to you later.”
Ted set down the phone. Something was seriously fucked up. Snow doesn’t just form itself. Well, not in the iGhetto. And especially not during summer. Oh right, he still had his customer on the line! Rushing back to his cubicle, he picked up his phone and hit the Hold button again. The customer was still on the line.
“Hi there. Sorry about the wait. Anyways, we’re still working on diagnosing the problem, but thank you for bringing it to our attention. Would you like to leave a return number for us to call you back when the situation is resolved?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’m sure I’ll figure out if you’ve fixed it when it stops snowing.”
“Okay then. Is there anything else you need help with today?”
“Well I was having a bit of trouble with my toilet...”

----------

The snow fell gently upon February as she huddled in an alleyway, cowering. The snow was only getting stronger the longer she sat there and contemplated this situation. Her life has been nothing but a string of improbably bad luck over the past few days. First she was struck by lightning, then accosted by freak weather systems, and now a battle to the death with a bunch of people from other universes. The last bit wasn’t just improbable, it should have been impossible! Hopefully, nobody would find her here. She wouldn’t have a chance against any of the others.
...but then why was she chosen to be in this fight in the first place? She admittedly hadn’t heard too much of what they were saying about the contestants, she was too focused on being scared out of her mind. Maybe the others weren’t as strong as they looked? She could barely remember what they looked like, really. She remembered that one was a dragon or something, which was kind of worrying, and there were, like, cyborgs and stuff too.
She sighed an stood up. The snow started calming down a little, but it wasn’t going away completely. Februrary was certainly scared, but the least she could do was try to handle it rationally. Sitting around in a corner surely wouldn’t get her out of this kerfuffle. First, she could probably try to remember who the fellow ‘contestants’ were.
There was that tiny spaceship. Filled with... actors? That didn’t make much sense to her, so she simply figured she was misremembering.
Then the dragon. The dragon. The goddamn dragon. How is there a dragon!? The snow picked up a bit but calmed down again. ‘Calm down, Febs,’ she whispered to herself. The dragon had to guard a treasure, so with any luck, it wouldn’t be hostile unless she tried going after that. Hopefully.
There was a professional wrestler. Likely to be strong, and, well, it’s a pro wrestler. How likely would it be for him to take a competition seriously? Maybe he could help protect her.
Then, um.... a magician? Febs couldn’t quite remember anything about him.
One guy had a big club. And animals? Maybe he trained animals? Should she have to be worried that he could make the pigeons attack her?
Cassiopeia was the one name she could actually remember, because of the star. February wondered if there was any significance to that.
And the cyborg. Which apparently kills people. Yeah okay that one was kind of concerning. After considering the dragon, though, she had kind of gotten over the idea of deadly impossible things. Well, not so much over it as much as she was aware that no one thing was less likely to kill her than another.
There was also the matter of herself. They had said something about her. Something about her emotions. Well of course she was going to get somewhat emotional, it’s a battle to the death! Ugh, perhaps everything would be clearer later.
At least she had mildly identified all the threats. Or at least, she had thought so, but she turned around onto to be face to face with a man in a mask wielding a knife threateningly.
“Gimme all you got!”
The snow picked up considerably and instantly turned into a small blizzard. A mugger!? Here!? He wasn’t even one of the contestants told to fight her!
“I-I-I don’t have much! I have five dollars! Oh! Y-you can have my iPhone!”
“What the hell would I want with a fucking iPhone?”
“Uh, s-sorry?”
“Yeah, then I would have TWO iPhones in the iGhetto. Jeez, it’s not even worth it to mug an idiot. You didn’t see me.”
The snow slowed down considerably as the mugger walked away. The wind did start to pick up quite a bit, though. February was confused. Her iPhone was worth, like, 200 bucks. Why would he deny it so quickly?

...wait what the hell was an iGhetto?

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SpoilerConfusion just causes wind. You can mildly perplex Febs for a light breeze, or baffle the shit out of her for gale force.