Order and Chaos

Smack the notes onto the floor. We're going off-script

Mary smacked the notes out of Lauren's hands and onto the floor. "Aſ a matter of fact, I am Malcolm'ſ daughter. Now, you tell me what iſ going on here while Commun here pickſ up your noteſ."

"What? Why do I have to —?"

"ſilence!"

Commun grumbled and got down on all two of his knees to pick up the scattered notes. Lauren practically growled at Mary. "Where's your nosepaint, princess?"

"Oh, for the love of — Do you know of any other white-haired young black women?"

Lauren thought for a second. "I don't have time for this nonsense!" She sashayed away.

"Walk and talk," whispered Commun, who then dropped the notes back on the floor and hustled up alongside Lauren. "Now Ms. Order, be reasonable! We'd just like to know where Nothing is!"

"Oh, a little over here, a little over there," said Lauren. "Everywhere there's something there's nothing, if you look hard enough. Please look hard enough somewhere that's not here.

They rounded a corner, where Herman Cain was standing over the corpse of the real Remdat, declaring that he wasn't killing him again. Mary yanked on Lauren's arm. "ſtop playing clever with your big wordſ mouth wordſ wordſ mouth clever tongue teeth wordſ iceberg!"

"Leave me alone, you maniacs!" yelled Lauren, trying and failing to extricate herself from Mary's grip. "I have to solve the murder I know everything about!" She turned to empty space. "Keep your trap shut! I don't need another uninvited guest getting in my way! You can't even be a suspect, you're only in one castle."

Mary groaned. "You're impoſſible." She suddenly let go and struck Lauren across the jaw with a mean left hook!

"What the fuck, woman?!" screamed Commun.

"Apologieſ," said Mary, dusting herself off. "I think I have been quite ſtreſſed recently, more than I've noticed."

"Oh, you hardly let it on," said Commun, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Shove her out of the way of the invisible antagonist

Then Lauren, who had been staggering in place, seemingly threw herself against the wall and collapsed in a heap.

"What waſ that?"

"Something shoved her!"

"No... NOTHING ſhoved her!"

"I'm Herman Cain!"

Punch the empty space.

And so, Mary and Commun fought Grub. It was a brutal, bloody bout, and nobody could lay a finger on their opponent, likely because they were about half a mile away and completely oblivious of their opponent's existence. Still, they fought, and fought hard.

"Yeah, take that, air!" said Milton, the real Milton, who was wandering around over in the pizza castle. He jumped in on Grub's team with gusto. He had no counterpart in the real castle. Herman Cain continued to be a neutral party, smiling, standing, and waving to an audience that didn't exist in either castle.

Video, surreptitiously surveying the carnage from his underground layer, rubbed his temples. What could he possibly do to break up this impossible fight?