RE: Otaku Melee - Steelport
07-31-2012, 03:22 AM
Eggplant Wizard was becoming increasingly aware that he was getting a greater volume of confused and/or angry stares than he'd ever received in his life. He was doing his best to avoid starting any trouble, of course; but he was quickly realizing that a good deal of people in the area were wearing neon-lined jackets similar to the mugger, and most of them were armed.
Beginning to panic, his pace quickened. I just need to find someone who can tell me what's going on, and everything will be just peachy. This calmed him slightly until he promptly realized that he had literally no idea where he would go about finding such a person, or how he would convince them to help him. A trail of fresh celery and peppers in his wake, he broke into a sprint (or the closest equivalent for someone lacking legs), at which point he careened into another Decker.
This was bad; however, he could have beaten the Decker like the last one, so long as this one was equally unintelligent, as well as alone. Unfortunately, this particular lady was accompanied by three other gang members, who were in fact planning to murder some of the Third Street Saints at the time, and had recently become aware of the fact that "s0m3 l4rg3 purp13 m07h3rfuck3r" had just assaulted the person who was supposed to be their fifth man. On top of all of this, the woman he had just knocked over happened to have a massive electrified hammer.
All of this added up to the Wizard being surrounded by four very upset Deckers, one in particular pointing a submachine gun where she was fairly sure the vegetable's chin was. She gave a smile, and her cohorts quickly followed suit. "Well, well, well. Looks like we got ourselves a stir-fry, lads." She leaned in, practically spitting on him as she spoke. "Now then, if you'll be so kind as to stop pretending you don't have anything, we'll let you go with merely a beating."
The aubergine laughed nervously. "W-well, let me just get my wallet, then!" He quickly retrieved Wire-Lester's wallet from the folds of his cape; however, he also produced a violently explosive pineapple, and quickly handed it off to the woman. "Well, I have to be off! It's been a pleasure!" He quickly began running away, and before the gangsters could follow him, the fruit had detonated, sending three of them sky-high.
Eggplant laughed heartily, but quickly stopped when he saw the woman rapidly approaching on roller skates. Although he attempted to flee, she almost immediately caught up, and with a mighty whack sent him flying into a brick building. Bristling with electricity, he silently thanked his boss for constantly electrocuting him; after all, if he hadn't built up a resistance, he'd be in even more pain than he was now. Looking behind him, he saw that she was once again fast approaching; looking ahead, he saw someone dismounting their motorcycle.
Almost immediately, the Wizard was off, frantically gunning the Sandstorm's gas and weaving in and out of traffic. Although he was relieved to be outpacing the Decker, this was short-lived, as she quickly grabbed the driver of a stopped SUV, tossed him out the door, and took his car. Once again, his pursuer began to approach.
Looking every which way, Eggplant quickly turned down a side street. This would have been an easy enough way to escape the rather large vehicle chasing him, if not for two things: First, the side street was undergoing heavy construction, and he quickly crashed into a roadblock. Second, he had just performed a left turn into oncoming traffic (and a particularly clumsy one at that), which led to an unfortunate bus driver skidding out of control when they swerved to avoid them. The bus smashed into a sedan, the sedan smashed into a sports car, and a pile-up formed almost immediately.
As the vegetable picked himself up, groaning, he saw the Decker who was chasing him dive out of her SUV, which quickly added itself to the pile-up. Several cop cars screeched to a halt, and their occupants exited and began shooting. As doom rapidly approached the Wizard, he reacted entirely on instinct, lashing out with his staff in a frantic and clumsy attempt to knock the hammer out of his opponent's hands. Miraculously, it worked.
As it slammed to the ground next to the pile-up, it emitted several sparks. One of these hit a pool of spilled oil and gasoline, and within seconds, the entire pile of cars - as well as the Planet Saints they were nearby, a food cart, and a trash bin - went up in a tremendous fireball.
Looking between the frozen-in-awe Decker, the furious policemen, and the fellows in purple who were storming towards him, all he could think of was one thing. He quickly ducked into an alley, stared at the sky, and screamed "I don't want to die!" at the top of his lungs.
He then hid in a filthy dumpster, berating himself for not thinking of a "ripe for the harvest" pun.
Beginning to panic, his pace quickened. I just need to find someone who can tell me what's going on, and everything will be just peachy. This calmed him slightly until he promptly realized that he had literally no idea where he would go about finding such a person, or how he would convince them to help him. A trail of fresh celery and peppers in his wake, he broke into a sprint (or the closest equivalent for someone lacking legs), at which point he careened into another Decker.
This was bad; however, he could have beaten the Decker like the last one, so long as this one was equally unintelligent, as well as alone. Unfortunately, this particular lady was accompanied by three other gang members, who were in fact planning to murder some of the Third Street Saints at the time, and had recently become aware of the fact that "s0m3 l4rg3 purp13 m07h3rfuck3r" had just assaulted the person who was supposed to be their fifth man. On top of all of this, the woman he had just knocked over happened to have a massive electrified hammer.
All of this added up to the Wizard being surrounded by four very upset Deckers, one in particular pointing a submachine gun where she was fairly sure the vegetable's chin was. She gave a smile, and her cohorts quickly followed suit. "Well, well, well. Looks like we got ourselves a stir-fry, lads." She leaned in, practically spitting on him as she spoke. "Now then, if you'll be so kind as to stop pretending you don't have anything, we'll let you go with merely a beating."
The aubergine laughed nervously. "W-well, let me just get my wallet, then!" He quickly retrieved Wire-Lester's wallet from the folds of his cape; however, he also produced a violently explosive pineapple, and quickly handed it off to the woman. "Well, I have to be off! It's been a pleasure!" He quickly began running away, and before the gangsters could follow him, the fruit had detonated, sending three of them sky-high.
Eggplant laughed heartily, but quickly stopped when he saw the woman rapidly approaching on roller skates. Although he attempted to flee, she almost immediately caught up, and with a mighty whack sent him flying into a brick building. Bristling with electricity, he silently thanked his boss for constantly electrocuting him; after all, if he hadn't built up a resistance, he'd be in even more pain than he was now. Looking behind him, he saw that she was once again fast approaching; looking ahead, he saw someone dismounting their motorcycle.
Almost immediately, the Wizard was off, frantically gunning the Sandstorm's gas and weaving in and out of traffic. Although he was relieved to be outpacing the Decker, this was short-lived, as she quickly grabbed the driver of a stopped SUV, tossed him out the door, and took his car. Once again, his pursuer began to approach.
Looking every which way, Eggplant quickly turned down a side street. This would have been an easy enough way to escape the rather large vehicle chasing him, if not for two things: First, the side street was undergoing heavy construction, and he quickly crashed into a roadblock. Second, he had just performed a left turn into oncoming traffic (and a particularly clumsy one at that), which led to an unfortunate bus driver skidding out of control when they swerved to avoid them. The bus smashed into a sedan, the sedan smashed into a sports car, and a pile-up formed almost immediately.
As the vegetable picked himself up, groaning, he saw the Decker who was chasing him dive out of her SUV, which quickly added itself to the pile-up. Several cop cars screeched to a halt, and their occupants exited and began shooting. As doom rapidly approached the Wizard, he reacted entirely on instinct, lashing out with his staff in a frantic and clumsy attempt to knock the hammer out of his opponent's hands. Miraculously, it worked.
As it slammed to the ground next to the pile-up, it emitted several sparks. One of these hit a pool of spilled oil and gasoline, and within seconds, the entire pile of cars - as well as the Planet Saints they were nearby, a food cart, and a trash bin - went up in a tremendous fireball.
Looking between the frozen-in-awe Decker, the furious policemen, and the fellows in purple who were storming towards him, all he could think of was one thing. He quickly ducked into an alley, stared at the sky, and screamed "I don't want to die!" at the top of his lungs.
He then hid in a filthy dumpster, berating himself for not thinking of a "ripe for the harvest" pun.