Post making contest 5.0

This is update #231.

YEAR TWO COMMENTARY

• one of my scouts is about to get its arse handed to it by my neighbour, the red necrophages
  
• or not I jammily managed a retreat phew
  
• okay I failed that Gadinak quest somehow and I do not care to find out what actually happened
  
• I just stepped on some pearls and picked them up. I totally meant to do that.
  
• huh I think the mouse yetis appreciate my inchoate pearl collection lovely jubbly
  
• oh my goodness I can send them a compliment that is utterly pointless right now but I just have to do it anyway
  
• aww they really liked it this is the best
  
• WHY AM I ONLY ALLOWED TEN CHARACTERS FOR CITY NAMES THAT IS CRUELTY
  
• look I am a bunch of dragons and I chose the purple colour scheme please let me name my capital "Artisan's Home" for christ's sake
  
• OKAY FINE GLIMMER IT IS
  
• Do you think the Bos will mind if I build my third city adjacent to their little camp?
  
• ...so the Bos didn't mind but it turns out the red necrophages really do not like the fact our borders now touch soooooo
  
• The Nidya in Hurricos (*cough*) would really like me to pacify some monsters for them. How could I go about maybe not doing that?
  
• actually all of my units are reasonably nearby perhaps I should give this a shot
  
• how do I heal units or are they doing it automatically I swear this guy who had to retreat twice is looking perkier than earlier but would really like to be sure of his continued survival
  
• Right, so now the Silics in Bel'sero want me to destroy the Nidya in Hurricos. Um.
  
• OH GOSH THE SOUND EFFECTS WHEN I ENTERED THE SECOND ERA WHAT THE HECK
  
• So I deliberately teched hard to enter a new era for the purposes of pacifying the Bos. Cue the thirty-second search for the Bos villages.
  
• OH WAIT I SETTLED RIGHT NEXT TO THEM NEVER MIND
  
• Time to show these monsters who's boss! It's probably them, but I want to make sure that they know this.
  
• oh dear lord these are gigantic fucking fennels made out of snakes I am supposedly able to beat them easily but I opted for a manual battle so really it's anyone's guess
  
• YOU IDIOTS I TOLD YOU TO STAY BACK YOU GOT HURT EARLIER AND NOW YOU'RE JUST RUNNING STRAIGHT AT THIS SLIMY VEGETABLE
  
• righty ho I won the battle and now the Nidya like me that's cool
  
• Wait, hang on. I got some wine earlier for completing a quest, and my local minor faction want me to give them wine. How do I do that?
  
• So, there's like one world wonder per era? That's interesting. The orange necrophages got it, which is fine - I wasn't going for it because I hadn't realised it existed.
  
• I have an altar now. It looks real bizarre AND WHY IS SOME OF IT FLOATING
  
• I do not understand any part of what I am looking at right now.
  
• The next step on my faction quest is to set the Military Ministry of the Empire Plan to level 2. I have never used the Military option in the Empire Plan. Huh.
  
• Okay in other words spend 180 influence on this pointless thing in eighteen turns fair enough I can do that I may have just spent 30 influence on assimilating the Bos but I'll save some up I guess...
  
• I presume my hero picked up a couple of bottles of Hurricos plonk on the way back past Glimmer because he just managed to deliver them to the Nidya village without hassle...
  
• STOP THE PRESSES THE FIGHTER JET SWORD WAS IN FACT A SHIELD THAT MAKES MORE SENSE
  
• Oh no the yeti mice actually really don't like my pearl collection. Shit.
  
• As a consequence of my aimless walkabouts, I have now accumulated 25 pearls. In the altar, there is an option to "pray", an action apparently costing 18 pearls. There are two things to pray for, both of which really sound like things I should be praying against. Sure. Fine. Whatever.
  
• A new quest from a minor faction on the west coast - sign a peace treaty in the next ten turns. I do not know how to propose peace treaties. That says a lot.
  
• ah okay got it there's a tech in this era that I need to research first FAIR ENOUGH
  
• Right, I just searched a ruin and it triggered a quest that requires me to search another specific ruin with, and I quote, "a strong Infantry hero (Level 4 minimum)". This is a trap.
  
• also by Archivist buddy is a support hero so nope not doing this quest
  
• A competitive quest has just showed up in which an archaeologist wants me to go rifle through some ruins in Histrel. I do not know where Histrel is. Come to think of it, I still haven't found Gadinak...
  
• RIGHT I'VE LEARNT HOW TO MAKE PEACE WHO WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND
  
• pfft the red necrophages are "mildly jealous" and WHY HAS THE MOUSE YETI GONE BLACK
  
• OH MY GOODNESS ITS COAT CHANGES COLOUR IN THE WINTER THAT'S ADORABLE
  
• okay I made peace with the mouse yeti whose name I should probably learn perhaps it would also be wise to make peace with my neighbours
  
• Turns out lime green doesn't favour a peace deal and there's no option present for the red necrophages WELP
  
• IT'S OKAY I'M OFFICIALLY AT PEACE WITH THE EMPIRE THAT'S FURTHEST AWAY FROM ME WHOOPDIE DOO
  
• so I figured out how to unlock a blessing at the altar but now I need to remember to actually build the Ice Works at some point okie dokie
  
• As a reward for signing that peace treaty, the minor faction gave me 20 quicksilver. I do not know what quicksilver is.
  
• *clicks End Turn for a bit*
  
• BYE BYE WINTER THANKS FOR NOTHING

End of message.