Mini-Grand 5802 [Round 1: The Heat Death Lounge]

Loading Mini-Grand Framework... Done.

Generating Administration Personality... Done.

"Fuck, it’s bright. Christ."

Generating Characters... Done.

Four beings suddenly found themselves nowhere, able to see one another but nothing else. A synthesized voice came out of the nothing surrounding them.

"Shit. Well, I’ve woken up next to worse things. Let’s see what we got.

"This chipper-looking dude is Chuck Feldstein. He wants to sell you food, or something... look, this made sense last night, alright? Not much to look at, is he. He’s got you covered if you’re hungry, though! Holla at your boy, he’ll be there, no matter where "there" is. I don’t even think he charges.

"This next one is, uh... this is a baby. Let’s call him Eppon. Save us all the headache. Poor guy was made in a tube and told to kill things. That’s some quality childcare right there, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not usually one to make dead baby jokes, but I’d be real careful about letting this kid get any bigger, which he’ll do. Quickly. Whoops, that wasn’t a joke!

"Aaaand... a wardrobe. Sure, why not. Let’s call it Aranina for shits and giggles. Much as this thing looks like it needs a one-way trip to a bonfire, it’s secretly full of all the kinds of magic and wonder that you wished would happen to you as a kid, but didn’t. That’s life, bitch. Maybe you’ll get a second chance here- the wardrobe’s full of all kinds of wizards and fairies and crazy bitches with superiority complexes. Just what you always wanted!

"And lastly... is this a dog? With, uh, wow, a laser. A big one. Looks like this girl’s got some political ideologies in common with a couple of guys on my floor as well. You’ll be calling her Molniya, or more likely "here, girl, hereGHKHHKKKKK dead." Don’t expect her to aim too well. She’s a dog. We cool here?

Generating Setting... Done.

The four generated characters suddenly found themselves moved, scattered in various locations around the exterior of a sleek-looking building bolted onto what appeared to be a meteor. Turrets clung to its roof like sleeping pigeons, occasionally letting off sporadic bursts of laser fire. Lights of every color, size, and pattern covered its surface, advertising an endless stream of vaguely-defined excitements. The reek of money rose off it like heat waves from a desert road.


"So this is the last place I remember being last night, or at least the last thing I think I remember. The Heat Death Lounge, worlds-famous for its wide variety of drinks, drugs, and gladiatorial combat. Mind the lasers, there, they’ve been having a problem with raiders lately. Don’t get me wrong, I love the place, but... eh. It’s been getting stale, you know? A little past its prime. Don’t worry about causing some collateral damage here and there, they’re insured out the heat vents.

"Oh, right... you cats have a curfew of dead o’clock, which is to say that when one of you dies, so does the party. That’s how we roll, kids. I’m out."


The voice fell silent.

Show Content

SpoilerGuest List:

1) Pinary: Chuck Feldstein- #804020
2) AKillerCuppaTea: Eppon- #007500
3) Ixcaliber: Aranina- #0000FF
4) TimeothyHour: #FFFF00 on red

Username: Pinary
Name: Chuck Feldstein
Gender: Male
Race: Hubert B. Manguyperson
Colour: #804020
Biography: Chuck Feldstein, 46, is the owner of Daily Fresh Groceries, a small grocery store in Creek Brook, Michigan. They stock quality local and imported goods, and they beat their large, corporate competition with a heavy emphasis on locally-focused advertisements. These ads all feature Chuck providing quality local and imported goods to local people who are in need of quality local and imported goods.

For example: "Boy," said Florence Wells, local principal and member of the community, "I sure could use some quality local and imported goods!"

The catch-phrase activated, Chuck Feldstein, owner and proprietor of Daily Fresh Groceries, appeared in a puff of savings! With him was a display featuring the new Sharp Cheddar Cracker-Bites being offered at the store. "Hey there, Mrs. Wells! What can I help you with today?"

"Well, Chuck, I need to give all these students something healthy and delicious to go with their lunch, and I'm just stumped as to what I could give them!"

"Why, Florence, I've got just the thing! Try these new Sharp Cheddar Cracker-Bites; I'm sure the kids will love them!"

She accepted the proffered box of tiny crackers, popped one of the delicious morsels in her mouth, and exclaimed, "Why, Chuck, these are perfect! Their sharp cheddar taste will definitely make them a hit with the kids!"

"Glad to hear it, Florence! Plus, I'm sure their parents will appreciate that they're low in fat and high in vitamins!"

"Wow, Chuck! Where can I get some for myself and my family?"

"Why, they're available at Daily Fresh Groceries for just $3.59 a box!"

His job done, the grocer vanished, taking the display with him. "Wow," the principal finished, "That's just what I needed!"

The ad then finished with the usual Daily Fresh Groceries jingle.
Description: Chuck is about 5'8", noticeably overweight, and a bit balding. He's never seen outside of his trademark white polo, blue jeans, and green apron, and his face seems to have his typical friendly, neighbourly smile etched unerringly into its surface.

Items/Abilities: Whenever someone expresses a need for quality local or imported goods (whether it's in those precise words or not), Chuck is instantly teleported to their location, and a display featuring something relevant to their needs appears next to him. Whenever he leaves, people invariably say that "That's just what I needed!"

Username: A Killer Cuppa Tea (but most people call me Tea)

Name: Experiment x1593U8 (Also Known As Eppon)

Gender: Male

Race: Scientific Experiment (based on human)

Colour: [color="#007500"]color="#007500"[/COLOR]

Biography: Experiment x1589U8 was authorised by the New Earthen Republic, a new political organisation that managed to spread through the entirety of the Planet Earth. Originally hailed as a New World Order designed to bring peace and prosperity throughout the world, this New Age way of thinking was, in fact, a way to oppress the people.

It took many years and decades before humanity came to realise just how much they were being oppressed. Scientific, economic and cultural progress had been stifled for years. Funds had instead been siphoned to a comparative minority of people who lived a life of luxury whilst the rest of humanity toiled day in day out, just to get by.

The change in their lives had been gradual, but slowly but surely, the entire race had become an army of slaves. Education was now almost non-existent. Leisure time was unheard of. Reading about history was banned, and ignorance was common throughout the land.

But then, little stirrings began to occur: little pockets of unrest – quickly put down by “the authorities”, but never forgotten; small cells committed to freeing the human race. At first, these were naught more than a nuisance: unorganised gangs making petty threats and attacking unimportant targets...but slowly but surely, these cells began to contact each other and merge; organisation became more commonplace and the word of them spread.

Almost as though in denial, those in power turned a blind eye too long. Suddenly, it seemed that the entirety of the human race was against them. Even once loyal soldiers dedicated to their wellbeing were becoming restless and betraying them. Seeking a solution, these few people turned to the sciences to help preserve their way of life.

Many things were invented, and many experiments carried out. Before long, it became an all out war: the uneducated, under-equipped masses with the heart and resolve to see their long-due victory, and the evil, the powerful, the few who fought with desperation to retain the way of life they had come to love.

Experiment x1593U8 was one of their most evil projects. A baby born in a test tube, its DNA altered and its brain washed, it was designed to me the most loyal of soldiers. Designed by a mad scientist – who came to love the project, as a piece of engineering genius, rather than a living, breathing human being – to be unfailingly loyal to those who had commissioned it, to have an insatiable urge to kill those who did not fit into this category, and the physical means with which to do so, the prototype was also designed not to have the mental acumen to truly think for itself.

This prototype – based off a male human child – will enter the battlefield as a newly born baby. Wrested from its mechanical womb, and thrust straight into the world of battle it was bred for, it is still just a little too soon. Although its DNA structure is designed for it to grow to full size in much less time than a normal human, x1593U8 will still start the battle essentially defenceless – but will grow more and more powerful with each second that goes by.

The name Eppon comes from the only word the child knows how to speak – “Weapon” – the only word that was cooed to it as it grew.

Description: Male baby, bright brown eyes, black hair, projected to grow into a largely built human being within a few short days or hours.

Items/Abilities: Currently none, but in a few short hours he will be a strongly built young man, and not long after that he will begin to mutate into something not quite human. Generally, his mental strength is almost definitely not his strong point, and he is likely to be rather naive and innocent, if prone to extreme violence. He is programmed to have a large capacity to learn, and in particular, be instinctively able to use most forms of weaponry as well as be proficient in hand to hand combat and pick up quickly on warfare and strategy. All this will all be instinctual, however: whilst he will likely be a bright child, “normal” knowledge such as etiquette, manners and even language will likely not come easily to him. As he is effectively “still a child” he will likely be easily manipulated, too. Eventually he will begin to mutate and become less and less human. His mutations are likely to be relative to his current situation.

Username: Ixcaliber
Name: Aranina
Gender: None
Race: Wardrobe
Colour: #0000FF
Description: Aranina is in appearances a normal wardrobe. It is tall, made of mahogany and has pictures of a strange and far away land carved into it.

On the surface there does not appear to be anything unusual about it. It does not have the ability to move or speak or directly interact with the other contestants. However upon opening the doors you might find that it is much deeper than you had any right to expect. A particularly curious person might climb into the wardrobe and push their way past the old musty items of clothing hanging therein, eventually finding that the floor starts to crunch underneath their feet and that the clothes they are brushing out of the way are replaced with bristly branches.

If they kept going they would emerge from the trees to find themselves on the outskirts of a Victorian era town populated by all kinds of fantasy creatures with steampunk machinery. In the distance a macabre castle looming over the snow covered land.

This is Aranina proper. A grim land ruled by a wicked queen with a penchant for turning her victims into ice sculptures. One day a hero might rise and free the land from her grip and end its eternal winter, but that is neither here nor there.

Aranina is not a gateway to a distant land, it is a magical kingdom contained in a wardrobe that is vastly bigger on the inside that it is on the outside.

Items/Abilities: But do not be fooled, Aranina is not a passive combatant. It has a mind and a way to interact with anyone who might intend to cause it harm. You see though it generally lets its inhabitants get on with their lives it can at any point seize the mind of any native Araninan and use them for its own purposes. This ability extends to any living creature born of Aranina.

Biography: Aranina is a construction of a being known as The Carpenter. It was an early experiment on making a pocket dimension of his very own and he figured one day he would probably use it as a round in one of his very own Grand Battles. It went missing before he had the opportunity.

Username: TimeothyHour

Name: Molniya

Gender: Female

Race: Robotically enhanced dog, a mutt.

Colour: FOR THE MOTHERLAND (#FFFF00 on red)

Weapons: Permanently back-mounted laser-cannon, which fused with the nervous system at the spine (the bone is augmented so that the load doesn’t eventually crush Molinya; in fact, the weapon feels so natural that she doesn’t know its not one of her limbs.) She can also bite and scratch with augmented teeth and claws with enough power to rip through a tank’s exterior. Molinya is also has the weapon of her DOG SLASH COMMUNIST CHARM.

Abilities: All of the normal abilities of a dog (enhanced running, jumping, smell), but amplified several times. Molinya can run faster than most cars, and jump up to about 30 feet. She can also fire a gigantic laser from her back and be really cute. And she even subscribes to a communist ideology. (It is important to note, however, that Molinya isn’t sentient. Still a communist, though.)

Description: A fairly big and pretty dog, Molinya has a stylish grey coat and cute hazel eyes that are complimented by the yellow sickle and hammer accents on the otherwise red laser cannon mounted on her back. Her teeth and claws shine from her augmentation, and she’s the model of fitness, big and strong and all around pretty awesome.

She has the personality of a really playful dog, and was in the middle of being trained on how to actually control her laser cannon when she taken, so she will probably end up randomly using it. A lot.

Also, she likes communism. It makes her happy.

Biography: WOOF WOOF LAZARRRRRRRRRRR