The Official Fogel Writes Silly Things Thread

This is a birthday present for Ix.

The Fishing Trip

One day, John and Tom decided to go on a fishing trip. They packed up their fishing gear and drove off to the lake, then they sat in a boat and fished.
For a whole hour, neither of them got a bite.
"Why are we doing this again?" Tom asked.
"I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time," John shrugged. "You want to head back home?"
"Eh, I'll give it another hour," Tom said. "Who knows, we might catch something."

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the lake, the city of Aquadra was in a panic, because a large shadow had been cast over them for the last hour and strange hooks had appeared in the water above them.
"We're going to die!" Mayor President shrieked. "It's just like the prophecies said!"
"This is clearly the work of those nefarious surface-dwellers!" shouted General Fishlips. "They finally found us, and now they want to destroy us. I say we strike back!"
There was a murmuring in the council room, before Mayor President finally spoke up.
"Well, don't just sit there! Go and do that! Before we all die!"
The general coughed.
"I'd love to sir, but I need authorization from the Council first."
"Oh. Well, then what's the Council waiting for? Give him authorization!"
"Sir, we need you to announce a vote before we can do that," Councillor Sharktooth reminded him. "It's how the Council works."
"Do I have to do everything around here?" Mayor President sighed. "All right, then. I hereby announce that we are voting on whether to authorize General Fishlips to, uh..."
"Mobilize a counterattack, sir."
"Yes. That. Now vote already!"
"Wait a minute, is that wise?" Dr. Blackfin asked. "We could investigate the shadow first, it hasn't actually done anything yet except float above us ominously and drop some hooks that we aren't going anywhere near."
"AYE!" everyone else shouted.
"Nay," Dr. Blackfin said with a renounced sigh.
"The Ayes have it," Mayor President concluded. "Get to work, General."
"Yes, sir!" The general saluted before swimming out.

John, meanwhile, had gotten bored.
"Wish I'd brought a book," he grumbled.
"All I brought was the map," Tom observed. "You can take a glance at that if you want."
John shrugged.
"What the heck, it'll be something to do."
Tom handed the map over and John unfolded it. He stared at it for a few minutes before something struck him.
"Hey, wait a minute!" John said. "I think we're on the wrong lake. This one's not even on the map. Maybe there aren't even any fish here."
"Or maybe someone else already grabbed them all," Tom mused.
"Stupid overfishing," John sighed. "You wanna head back?"
"Nah," Tom replied. "That seems like more work than just stayin' here."
"Good point."

"This is Aquadra Command," General Fishlips said. "We have authorization for a full-scale counterattack on the surface dwellers. Prepare all missiles for launch."
Across the world, in small, out-of-the-way lakes, secret compartments opened up and released missiles from the depths of the water. All at once, they shot out of the lakes, and sped on towards whatever surface-dwellers were nearby.
No government had seen the attack coming. The world was devastated. The surface-dwellers were gone.
But in Aquadra, the shadow was still there.

"Did you hear something?" John asked. "Kinda like an explosion?"
"Nah," Tom said. "Think I'm about ready to go back."

"Why is the shadow still there?" Mayor President demanded. "We're all still doomed!"
"I don't get it," General Fishlips said. "The counterstrike should have stopped the surface-dwellers and their evil magic."
"I'll tell you why," Dr. Blackfin grumbled. "While you were blowing everything up, I did some actual research. That's not the end of us all, it's just two morons in a boat."
"A... what?" Mayor President asked. "What's that?"
"It's a vessel the surface-dwellers use to travel across the water. Except those two are just sitting there for some reason."
"You don't know anything, Blackfin!" the general shouted. "You've been tainted by the Devilfish! Maybe you're even working for the surface dwellers!"
The entire council gasped.
"That's absurd," Dr. Blackfin sighed. "Honestly, we'll all be fine as long as we don't touch those hooks."
"Shut up, traitor!" Mayor President shouted at him. "I bet you're the one who brought that shadow in! I hereby announce a vote to declare Dr. Blackfin as a traitor to fishkind!"
"AYE!" everyone shouted.
"Nay," Dr. Blackfin sighed. "Not that it matters at this point, I suppose."
"You're coming with me, traitor," General Fishlips said with a scowl. "It's time you got what you deserve."

"Hey! I got a bite!" John said suddenly. He started reeling the hook in and found a strange looking white eel-like fish with a black fin, and circles around its eyes.
"Huh, looks kinda like it's wearin' glasses," Tom noted. "So how do ya think it tastes?"
"Eh, I dunno. It's probably a bad idea to eat weird fish like that," John replied. "I think I'll just toss it back."
He threw Dr. Blackfin over the side of the boat.
"So, time to head back?"
"Sure," Tom mumbled. "Sky's gettin' gray, may as well head home before it rains."

Meanwhile, in Aquadra, everyone was cheering about the traitor's demise and the disappearance of the shadow.
"Good work, General Fishlips!" Mayor President said. "I'm giving you a promotion to Super General!"
"You're too kind, sir," General Fishlips replied. "I was just doin' my duty."
Then Dr. Blackfin slowly drifted down to the city. He groaned.
"You're all idiots," he said to the now-confused crowd.
"Wait, weren't you just executed?" Mayor President asked.
Dr. Blackfin sighed.
"Yes," he said.
"Well, then, I guess you've served your sentence!" the Mayor replied. "Now get back to work, the Council's short-handed."
"Why do I even bother..." Dr. Blackfin muttered under his breath.

Meanwhile, John and Tom headed back to the city and found it in ruins.
"Dang," John said. "Looks like we missed a lot."
"Shame," Tom agreed. "So, you wanna go fishin' again tomorrow?"
"Sure, why not," John replied. "Maybe we'll even catch somethin' this time."