Post making contest 5.0

This is episode #14.

• Trott: "where are your cities Rythian?" Rythian: "they are in the... right... south of you" UH HUH UH HUH I THINK THOSE PAUSES BETRAY NOT A LACK OF GEOGRAPHICAL ACUMEN BUT AN ATTEMPT TO DECEIVE
  
• (although I guess strictly speaking if you went right enough you'd get there eventually)
  
• A straight minute and a half of Rythian explaining the tourism mechanic to everyone. This is the stuff that keeps me going.
  
• Sjin: "What is everyone's culture right now? What's the plus pink number?"
  
• Smiffy: 14 / Tom: 18 / Trott: 22 / Sjin: 118 / Rythian: 282
  
• NONE OF THOSE FIRST THREE NUMBERS ARE ACCEPTABLE
  
• Trott: "What's... I guess it's cannons, right? What's the siege weapon of the modern era?" ARTILLERY
  
• There's an ideology notification down the side which I reckon is Sjin's but nobody wants to hover over slash mention these things.
  
• Sjin is making one heck of a fuss because he had no oil.
  
• SJIN HAS SPOTTED SOME OIL IN JERUSALEM SO HAS MOVED HIS GREAT GENERAL KHAN DOWN TO CITADEL IT
  
• BUT HE HASN'T REALISED HE'S AT WAR WITH JERUSALEM SO DIDN'T ESCORT IT
  
• RIP KHAN
  
• Smiffy: "I think one of my roads got interrupted when I built a citadel on it" ...firstly, why did you plop the citadel there at all. Secondly, THAT IS NOT A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN
  
• Smiffy's road network bloody hell
  
• Tom: "Jerusalem's at war with us?" YES SJIN IS ABOUT TO DISCOVER THIS
  
• Trott is asking Tom and Smiffy about the best way to promote his units. Neither Tom nor Smiffy know what any of the promotions are called.
  
• Sjin has gone incredibly quiet. I can't help but wonder...
  
• So in Tom's view there is no Khan on the tile and no citadel in the vicinity either. WELL DONE SJIN.
  
• TILE IMPROVEMENTS TOM OUARZAZATE HAS STOPPED GROWING AT ELEVEN POP DESPITE BEING SURROUNDED BY CATTLE, SHEEP AND WHEAT
  
• I think Tom is going to invade Trott? Surely not...
  
• The view cuts back to Sjin just in time to watch him automate a worker and cause everyone to start complaining about how shit the game is because the turn timer has "randomly" reset again.
  
• Tom is sending a Great General with his navy.
  
• ...do you think he realises Great Admirals exist?
  
• TROTT IS LOOKING AT THE IDEOLOGY SCREEN PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR MINDS BLOWN
  
• RYTHIAN: FREEDOM / SJIN: ORDER - both entirely expected and sensible picks
  
• SMIFFY: AUTOCRACY
  
• THE GUY WHO COULDN'T EVEN CONQUER A CITY STATE HAS TAKEN THE WARMONGER IDEOLOGY
  
• AND IS SUFFERING MASSIVE HAPPINESS PENALTIES AS A RESULT OF RYTHIAN'S INFLUENCE OVER HIP RIP SMIFFY
  
• seriously Sjin is the only player who can get away with taking an ideology that isn't Freedom, and even then he might be forced to switch later on
  
• ...does anyone here even know that they can switch ideologies?
  
• Smiffy: "why is everyone so fucking sad?"
  
• CUE RYTHIAN EXPLAINING THE IDEOLOGICAL PRESSURE MECHANIC FOR A FULL MINUTE
  
• Sjin: "Me and Rythian are arguably too good to be here" DAMN RIGHT
  
• Sjin completing the World's Fair would actually throw a spanner in the works of Rythian's culture victory... the victory he wasn't even intending to go for...
  
• TROTT IS COMPLAINING ABOUT HAVING TO DO MATHS - AS IN, ADDING UP FOUR AND FIVE
  
• RYTHIAN'S LAUGHTER WHEN SMIFFY STOPPED THE WORLD'S FAIR
  
• HE KNOWS HOW MUCH THEY FUCKED UP
  
• SJIN THOUGHT IT WAS THE TOURISM PROJECT
  
• Tom... you can't walk to Morocco. You just can't. You absolutely cannot do that.
  
• THE FIRST PERSON TO REALISE THAT THE WORLD IS ROUND WILL GET MY UNDYING RESPECT
  
• SJIN AND TOM ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT A BLOCKADE IS
  
• Trott: "I discovered how to navigate!" I just love how proud they sound about technological advancements that are centuries behind Rythian
  
• COAL FOR SILVER IS NOT A BALANCED TRADE

tl;dr - Rythian's patience is utterly phenomenal.

End of message.