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Anomaly · 08-13-2016, 08:42 AM

Update 4

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Spoiler

(08-12-2016, 06:28 AM)a52 Wrote: »This is amazing, I love this so much!

>Break down the door with your fists

Salamander Dan’s arms are weak and noodly! Try as he might, he can’t bash the door down. He hurts his fists in the process.

(08-12-2016, 08:36 AM)ProfessorLizzard Wrote: »>MORE SCIENCE from this SCIENCE MINE

(08-13-2016, 04:07 AM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »this expert-level lock will be picked!

Yes! We have to find a way past this infernal gate, and plunder the sciences within! But… There’s nothing else in here to help us with that, so we’ll have to keep searching.

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On the way out, Salamander Dan notices something he missed before - a gyroscope of some sort! That’s certainly close to science. Salamander Dan shoves it in his surprisingly spacious pockets and moves on.

Salamander Dan gets back on the road and-

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Oh. The actual ruin is right there. Like. A few hundred feet away. Somehow, I didn’t even notice this last time. There’s even steam pouring out of some pipes, somehow, even though this place has been abandoned for thousands of years. That’s gotta take some pretty extreme science, right?

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“Mzulft”, apparently. That is really hard to pronounce.

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As is customary, Salamander Dan finds the recently-slain corpse of a random adventurer near the door. There’s nothing useful on it. Maybe the wolves got to him? Yeah, that must be it.

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Inside the front door, there’s even some spinning gears amongst all the pipes! This is great! Maybe even better than the science room out front. For some reason there’s another door immediately inside, but-

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OH GODDAMMIT. We can’t even pick this lock. Bethesda probably wants us to come here for some dumb quest way down the line. Maybe we’ll just have to find our own way in here ahead of time. Dan can find a way.

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Here’s our progress so far, by the way. Dan’s come quite a long way now - hopefully well ahead of Terriblix and his cronies, who are undoubtedly looking for him.

With nothing else to do here, Salamander Dan heads back down the road, looking for a place to pilfer some lockpicks. He’ll get this stupid door open eventually. He successfully sneaks past the wolves and continues along the road, only to see… a farmer, walking around alone and without fear. Doesn’t he know there’s wolves out here?

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The farmer notices Salamander Dan creeping up on him and immediately tells us his life story. Once again, we have no reason to care. Dan rifles through his pockets, but finds nothing worth taking there. Poor guy’s just gonna get eaten by wolves soon anyway.

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Well, now we’ve got a new quest objective. Join the army and become a tool of imperialism. No thanks.

The farmer continues walking down the road without a care in the world, despite there clearly being a wolf up ahead, growling at him. Dan watches from a distance, unable to do a thing about the oncoming slaughter.

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...The wolf runs in terror the moment the farmer gets near.

…

Who is this man? What does he want? Let’s never find out.

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As Salamander Dan walks very quickly the other way, he’s suddenly struck with an insatiable hunger. He hasn’t fed in days now. We need to find an elf to feed on, and soon.

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Salamander Dan acquires a new power - “Vampire’s Seduction”. Oh dear. Almost takes your mind off your blood literally boiling, doesn’t it, Dan?

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Salamander Dan sneaks past yet another wolf, coming to a small pond up in the mountains. For some unfathomable reason, this tiny pond has a little dock on it, along with a boat. And this boat is guarded by… a lone wolf? Maybe that’s his boat. Maybe we’re trespassing.

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You…

You keep on doing your thing, buddy.

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Around the side of the pond is “Stony Creek Cave”. There’s no goat heads on pikes here - in fact, there’s just some sacks of flour and apples and stuff. Maybe it’ll be nice and safe in here? Dan decides to check it out, and look for lockpicks.

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What did I just say about corpses? This can only mean this is another Adventure Location, full of bandits or necromancers or giant spiders or something. Goddammit. Can’t we just meet some nice cave people? Just once?

Salamander Dan creeps along, checking the corpse and a few of the boxes. No lockpicks, no potatoes, not even cheese or silverware. Completely useless. We continue along the stream above the waterfall.

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There’s some people there, patrolling way up ahead. Looks like bandits, probably. They’re all dressed in wholly inadequate fur armor. Either bandits or… hunters. Dan hopes it’s just bandits.

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Salamander Dan nearly walks right in front of this guy here, just kind of… chilling out on a platform. Having his lunch or something. Dan would rather not interrupt him, but he definitely looks like a bandit. He stays here a good long while, plotting his next move. Suddenly, he sees something.

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The guards are coming back. Run, Salamander Dan, run!

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Salamander Dan runs!

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Salamander Dan dramatically dives out of the cave, right out into the searingly bright sunlight. Yep, looks like the storms finally ended, and I don’t have to adjust every single image to be visible now. It would actually be beautiful if Dan’s blood wasn’t busy boiling.

Dan swims across the pond, immediately noticing someone else. He immediately begins sneaking in broad daylight, somehow successfully staying hidden.

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Dan considers going closer, but this man’s mustache… It’s too powerful.

Maybe he does see us, and he’s just pretending not to. What do you even say to this Darth Sidious-looking lizardman pretending he’s invisible because he’s standing next to a tree branch? “Just keep walking”, that’s what.

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Dan’s sneaking pays off! Finally, he’s gained a level! This is a momentous occasion in Dan’s life. He’s finally good at something, maybe? Or at least, less bad at something.

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Now then, what should we invest in? We get to increase one attribute by 10 points, and pick one perk. What attribute should we increase? Which skill are we going to focus on with our one perk point? The choice… is yours.

SKILLS

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