Post making contest 5.0

This is episode #12.

Bit of a shorter one yesterday since it was the end of the session, but that didn't stop it from containing a lot of action:

• Trott: "Sjin taking the city has hampered my movement dramatically" OPEN BORDERS AGREEMENTS EXIST
  
• (although let's face it, we're talking about getting Sjin to accept a deal here... he won't notice it for two turns, then he'll feign ignorance of it for another three, then finally when he thinks no-one is looking he'll just dismiss it...)
  
• Smiffy's settled again! It's a bit late but fuck it, I stopped caring about the "when" a few thousand years ago...
  
• SJIN JUST SUCCEEDED IN DISMISSING THE CITY BOMBARD CURSOR, SO COME ON GUYS. IF SJIN CAN DO IT...
  
• Sjin why are you parking your navy at the south pole? Did all your admirals decide they really wanted to go and look at the penguins?
  
• SJIN IS LYING THROUGH HIS ARSE YOU CAN TRADE A CITY FROM THE MOMENT YOU GET IT no courthouse required
  
• Smiffy: "guys, how do you take a city?" YOU'RE ASKING NOW?!
  
• oh my god Smiffy took Sydney
  
• part of the reason that Babylon isn't growing is because he's covered some of his best food tiles in trading posts... this being a thing that I pointed out would be a problem several episodes ago...
  
• Smiffy: "I can't build courthouses, I don't have the technology" YOU NEED MATHEMATICS TO BUILD COURTHOUSES I AM VERY SURE YOU HAVE THIS
  
• YOU JUST HOVERED OVER IT WITHOUT SEEING IT
  
• "It's not fucking there guys" THE TOOLTIP POPPED UP AND EVERYTHING
  
• Sjin continues to come up with completely bullshit excuses for why he's not giving Trott Yu-Gi-Shit...
  
• Rythian's tourism honestly should not be threatening. It's just that everyone else is shit at culture.
  
• AND MARK'S DOWN THAT ONLY TOOK EIGHTY MORE TURNS THAN IT SHOULD HAVE
  
• Sjin considered selling a building in Yu-Gi-Shit before trading it away. That's the Sjin we know and love.
  
• OH WOW NO HE'S RAZING IT AND HOPING NOBODY WILL NOTICE
  
• RYTHIAN IS AT STEAM POWER THAT IS actually a bit behind for this turn number BUT COMPARATIVELY SPEAKING THAT'S RIDICULOUSLY FAR AHEAD

tl;dr - how do I take city?

End of message.

I think an ETG Civ series with Sruix ranting at all of us would be pretty good

Passes 4, 5.

I 1000% agree

Passes 5.

oh man i totally want in on that

Passes 4, 5, 6.

I want to do an ETG civ series so badly it's illegal. This is despite that fact that it would be a logistical nightmare, concerning time management, player canvassing, technical issues, setup debates, game instability and my inability to record footage of me playing civ because come on if I can scarcely play it how do I expect to be able to take video of it too...

...and I still want to do it...

Passes no rules.

We'll find a time and everybody can record except you can just take a million screenshots that some poor sap will have to edit in appropriately

Passes 4, 5, 6.

man I would love to do that but there would be absolutely no way I would have enough time

Passes 5.

This is episode #13.

• ...ooh it's a third warning slate and apparently this is the last session? That does not surprise me...
  
• "REMEMBER THAT VIEWER DISCRETION THING? IT'S AN OPEN OFFER!"
  
• Rythian is influential over Smiffy with 44 tourism per turn. Eep.
  
• Honestly, both Sjin and Rythian are right: Rythian's tourism is a threat and it's entirely possible for him to win this way, but Sjin's culture pool is still substantial enough that it'll take him a while...
  
• ...oh the International Games got passed. Huh.
  
• COME ON RYTHIAN GET YOURSELF SOME SWEET ASS TOURISM or honestly don't with just 44 it probably isn't worth it build yourself some more units instead
  
• uh yeah sure broadcast towers those will definitely help sure whatever
  
• Sjin: "hmm, Yu-Gi-Shit demands silk" THEY ARE BURNING THEIR TOWN TO THE GROUND WHY DO THEY WANT SILK TOO
  
• THEY ARE HAVING AN ARGUMENT ABOUT WHICH SET OF NUMBERS IN THE TRADE ROUTE SCREEN SHOWS THE AMOUNT OF GOLD YOU GET FROM ESTABLISHING IT
  
• HOVER OVER IT AND READ THE FUCKING TOOLTIP
  
• WHY CAN NOBODY IN THIS GAME READ?! YOU ALL RESEARCHED WRITING... EVENTUALLY...
  
• Tom sent Trott a deal, the entirety of which was "Trott declares war on Rythian". Trott accepted.
  
• Rythian: "I came here to have a good time and am feeling so attacked right now." Sjin: "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME! You're here to get wrecked, son!"
  
• People are now discovering that Rythian has city state allies.
  
• Sjin is actually sailing that fleet towards Rythian. Roughly speaking, anyway. It is still a few thousand miles south of Morocco.
  
• Rythian has the capability to bring Attila's Court to its knees with a single lancer. I love that.
  
• Because Sjin has taken so long to sail to Morocco, Rythian now has ironclads. Huh. Wait, no sorry, an ironclad...
  
• Trott: "Fuck, how did Rythian become friends with Vancouver and Wellington?!" IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND
  
• SJIN'S FRIGATE DID ONE DAMAGE TO RYTHIAN'S CAPITAL
  
• IT KNOCKED OFF ONE HIT POINT
  
• ONE
  
• Sjin: "Rythian's navy is better than mine, so this is a write-off. Do you want to just end the session?" RYTHIAN'S NAVY CONSISTS OF AN IRONCLAD
  
• seriously Sjin you used your Oxford for frigates a few episodes ago had you attacked then you may have stood a chance
  
• THERE'S AN ACTUAL BARBARIAN ENCAMPMENT BETWEEN POLAND AND MONGOLIA THERE'S A WORKER IN THERE AND EVERYTHING
  
• Yu-Gi-Shit finally burnt down. Nobody has mentioned this yet.
  
• RYTHIAN IS RESEARCHING PLASTICS GUYS
  
• apologies it turns out Rythian's navy consists of three ironclads the other two were just doing the exploration that I was praising previously fair enough
  
• Rythian: "I'm welcome for friendliness!"
  
• Trott: "Gatling guns are shit, aren't they? You really have to be right next to something..." Smiffy: "it's all about those roads" ...that is actually correct if you build enough roads towards the person you're trying to invade you can get both your blocker melee units and your gatling guns right next to the enemy units you want to dispose of
  
• Smiffy informs us that Sydney is apparently starving. Sydney has three fish tiles.
  
• ...I suppose a city state could be sending a caravel or something to Sydney?
  
• Rythian is making the most of his dip into Commerce to buy out all the city states. This is absolutely wonderful play.
  
• So presumably Sjin won the international games? Because Rythian didn't even try for them? So Sjin has doubled his tourism output for the next twenty turns, going from... oh, zero, to zero. Huh.
  
• seriously Sjin you just wasted about five turns of full production in all your cities
  
• (I mean you do get other benefits but you didn't need to worry about stopping Rythian he already knew it wasn't worth it for his presently rather paltry amount of suitcases)
  
• RYTHIAN HAS COMPLETED THE STATUE OF LIBERTY DOES ANYONE ELSE EVEN HAVE AN IDEOLOGY?

tl;dr - No One Can Stop Mr. Rythian

End of message.

Passes 4, 6, 7.