Post making contest 5.0

This is update #223.

• Smiffy has made peace with Sydney and has a settler headed for the coast? Well, colour me impressed...
  
• As previously discussed with qwerx, keshiks are pretty amazing. Strictly speaking Arabia's camel archers are stronger, but the keshik-khan combo is capable of crushing entire continents... so long as you know what you're doing...
  
• Turn 102, Rythian's science is 98. The Yogs bandy about the "100 science by turn 100" thing every other game or so, and while it's an ineffectively unnuanced benchmark, it's nice to see that Rythian is nearly at triple digits... unlike some people...
  
• You may have forgotten that Sjin declared on Rythian. I sure had.
  
• Mark: "what are Sjin and Trott doing?!" well Trott is trying to figure out how the route-to road building mode works (answer: it doesn't) and while we can't see Sjin's screen I am prepared to bet he is blankly staring at the fucking ocean again
  
• Mark has retaliating for Trott's earlier forward settle with a forward settle of his own. Within in a few centuries, the political map of this region will be totally fucked.
  
• For the record, Ife is pronounced "ee-fay". I did just have to google that.
  
• Now, who here is confident that Sjin can put the Terracotta Army to good use? Anyone?
  
• Sjin: "I'm talking to the viewers here" as far as I can tell you are just mumbling
  
• ...all those unimproved tiles around Attila's Court...
  
• TOM HASN'T EVEN GOT PHILOSOPHY
  
• Rythian: "was it you who built the Terracotta Army?" Sjin: "No"
  
• YOU CAN CHECK WHAT WONDERS PEOPLE HAVE BUILT IN THE DIPLOMACY OVERVIEW
  
• ...see, had Smiffy founded Babylon Invisilon seventy turns ago...
  
• Trott: "if you don't make friends, you're gonna make enemies, you know that, right?"
  
• *thirty seconds later*
  
• Trott: "I'm probably gonna fuck you up, mate"
  
• Trott is now scared of catapults it is 940AD
  
• Smiffy declared war on Sjin in order to move his scout out of Mongolian territory, a minute after Sjin said he'd offer open borders, and so Sjin killed the scout while Smiffy was struggling to determine how to offer peace. Priceless.
  
• okay that army of Sjin's is walking to Morocco and I don't think Rythian has a particularly large army
  
• Rythian: "listen, Trott, eventually you're gonna have to pick a side. There are the good guys, who are us, and then there's Sjin"
  
• Trott please Egyptian War Chariots are also not scary in 980AD
  
• SMIFFY DON'T DECLARE ON SYDNEY AGAIN
  
• oh good Rythian is aware of the invasion force Sjin is sending
  
• so this is the point where Tom's footage cuts out and a slate has been put up saying "If you wanted to see his stats? Sorry, bucko. That ain't a thing not more. Good luck analysing this, Reddit." Well, this is not Reddit, but I'm gonna analyse Tom's position anyway - it's shit.
  
• actually when this episode is over I should go and see what Reddit are saying about this series I haven't checked in a while
  
• oh wow Tom and Trott are going to fuck Mark up again
  
• honestly I can't see anyone other than Rythian winning this game he's the only player with the experience of late-game required to actually achieve a win condition, with the possible exception of Paul "why can't I move my keshiks over four hills in one go" Sykes
  
• (also they probably haven't turned off time victory)
  
• Trott you have already attacked with that knight please stop trying to attack with it while Mark murders your only other melee unit
  
• Smiffy: "I don't know what I'm doing so wrong" WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO WRITE YOU A LIST
  
• okay so Reddit pointed out a lot of things like Trott deleting his workers and Rythian going commerce and Tom only having two trade route slots and Trott losing vision on Dark Magician and not being able to figure out why he couldn't catapult it and that Tom the Hun is now the only player not at war I mean wow

tl;dr - *whimper*

End of message.