Salamander Dan's Salamander Slam [it's skyrim]

Vampire arrested for tax evasion.

Warlock's thrall please, probably near Raven's Rock because I like the name of The Retching Netch.

As it is written, it will be.





Oh, Salamander Dan. You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.

Salamander Dan proceeds to the bed in the corner of his cell, at which point reality reasserts itself. As I said before, this cell may never have existed in the first place, and Salamander Dan may never have been here. Stop me if this gets too complicated.



Our hero awakens! No longer dressed in a stolen potato sack, there’s no doubt that Salamander Dan’s lot in life has improved since that possibly-imaginary prison cell.



Hahaha no just kidding. Ol’ Dan has somehow managed to get himself enthralled by a no-doubt powerful warlock, in a dingy cave in the middle of gods-know-where. At least it’s warm. Let me tell you, living in Skyrim is a terrible idea when you’re a lizard, or possibly an amphibian.



Oh, also, Salamander Dan is a vampire. A Salamander Dan-pire, if you will. This has nothing to do with the warlock, actually. He’s been a vampire ever since a rather embarrassing incident back at his home in the Pale. Back when he had a home in the Pale. He was arrested for tax evasion shortly thereafter, and, well, one thing led to another and here he is.

But he’s not ready just yet. We gotta make this interesting. Therefore, there are two things we have to figure out:

What are the RULES for this run? That is, what guidelines do I have to follow, what arbitrary restrictions are placed upon my actions, etc. etc.

What are Salamander Dan’s GOALS in life? Does he want to be a sneaky thief and steal all the potatoes in Skyrim to fill his lost potato sack? Does he want to become some kind of werewolf warlock? The choice is yours.

For example:

Bar Patron: Surprise. Because you're not just ANY Bar Patron. You have the amazing ability to walk into a bar, drink for a while, fall asleep and wake up outside... A DIFFERENT BAR. ' <'

With this as a rule, Salamander Dan might be able to FAST TRAVEL, but only from bar to bar rather than from anywhere to anywhere else.