Post making contest 5.0

This is update #217.

• oh the warning slate's back 'cause of the session split
  
• "Smith still has one city, Tom's footage cuts out half way through this session while Sjin and Rythian tryhard it for a while. VIEWER DISCRETION IS STILL AN OPTION" like hell no this continues to sound heavenly
  
• the episode starts with Tom offering peace and Mark not being able to figure out how to dismiss the notifications that are blocking him from accepting it *pleased sigh*
  
• so how's that war going Smiffy... uh... um... WELP
  
• it is 410 AD and Smiffy still has crippling barb issues it's like the fall of rome up in here
  
• Sjin actually has the beginnings of a proper four-city core what the absolute fuck
  
• turn 88: Rythian is going to settle his third city in the west despite the fact he hasn't really explored there
  
• despite what Smiffy claims, there is no such thing as a moral victory in civ
  
• Tom: "apparently there's like a thing you can check where um it doesn't auto queue up stuff for you to do" nooooooooooo
  
• OH BLIMEY I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT HOW MUCH LAND THERE IS BETWEEN RYTHIAN AND SJIN
  
• YOU COULD FIT A WHOLE OTHER EMPIRE IN THERE, MOSTLY BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE IT'S MEANT TO ALL BE BABYLONIAN BLUE COME ON
  
• Smiffy: "if I just set up multiple fucking trading posts, what does that do?" NO NO NO DO NOT BUILD QUOTE "MULTIPLE FUCKING TRADING POSTS" that is also a... *sigh* "noob trap" it's bloody AI tactics that's what it is
  
• like you see about Immortal difficulty that the AI's growth bonuses have become such that they have a city surrounded by nothing but plains trading posts and still have it be twenty-odd pop
  
• this is not, however, a thing that a human can achieve, and I have reason to believe that Smiffy is indeed a human
  
• Smiffy does not understand the concept of "working" a tile... the guy with the two academies... does not understand how to guarantee they're being worked... deep breaths, sruix, deep breaths...
  
• wait shit when did Panama start dying
  
• Rythian just thought he did a clever regarding the pokemon city names but actually he got tricked by Sjin's misspelling...
  
• ...today is just one of those days where I stop actively surpressing my love of ellipses...
  
• TROTT FINALLY NOTICED SJIN HAD GOT IT WRONG AAAAAAHH
  
• every city state Sjin meets hates him because word has spread about what he did to Mogadishu a couple of thousand years ago (that's what the "City States grow wary!" message meant)
  
• NOPE SJIN ROADS IN YOUR TERRITORY DO NOT PROVIDE MOVEMENT BONUSES TO ENEMY UNITS
  
• ...speaking of "a couple of thousand years ago", that's when Smiffy's bowmen were actually relevant...
  
• like props to Tom conquering city states is about the only thing his army is good for any more it's just whether or not he's capable of turning his conquests into a flourishing empire
  
• Trott: "can I just have a road going like in a linear circle"
  
• Rythian is only half-right: roads through city state territory can be used for city connections, but only if you are allied with them
  
• ooooooh the camera on Rythian is teasing his third city let me see let me see come on I wanna take a look
  
• TROTT IS BUILDING HIS NATIONAL COLLEGE
  
• IN HIS THIRD CITY
  
• oh my goodness Rythian's third city is actually in a good spot
  
• I really appreciate how people have realised that they need to explore in between recording sessions. What I would appreciate even more, however, is if they'd look at the terrain they were revealing for more than two seconds so that I can scrutinise it and tell them all why their cities are placed wrong.
  
• (yes I know I can pause the video but because they're not spending much time looking at anything other than their cities when the view cuts to them there's only a small chance I get to see something otherwise)
  
• (...except for in Sjin's case, because he spend over half his turns gawking at the fucking ocean...
  
• it says a lot about this game that over half the city states want barbarian encampments cleared
  
• okay so Rythian could have settled off river to leave room for a fourth city to the south BUT again in this game settling based on future city placements is not a thing
  
• THERE IS A RUIN BETWEEN SJIN AND RYTHIAN
  
• IT IS TURN 97 THERE IS STILL A RUIN ON THE MAIN PANEGA LANDMASS
  
• Smiffy you do realise you have to pay upkeep costs on the roads you are building halfway across the fucking continent
  
• ...can Mark actually do anything of any worth any more?
  
• is Sjin going to use his keshiks at any point
  
• what is this deal between Mark and Trott
  
• Mark gives Trott two iron and receives two horses and a copy of whales

tl;dr - first person to map the entire landmass wins my undying respect

End of message.

Passes none of the rules