Post making contest 4.0

This is update #214.

I didn't get to watch yesterday's episode of War of the Worst when it came out because I was too busy trying to make Civ work with Windows 10. But now I've seen it...

• ...did Mark literally run his pursuing scout into Sjin's spearman, killing it and thus dashing all chances of him retrieving his civilians? Because that's what it looked like to me...
  
• oh wait there's a warrior coming too so maybe the chances are not so slim
  
• SMIFFY THAT IS NOT HOW YOU STEAL A WORKER FROM A CITY STATE
  
• (he didn't make peace straight afterwards, so his scout got bombarded as the turn ticked over, and then he didn't make peace at the start of the next turn so he got zone-of-controlled into the barbarian brute that will now doubtlessly kill his scout and take the worker)
  
• SMIFFY OPENED LIBERTY HE HAS ONE CITY
  
• Tom is building a settler in his second city. Um.
  
• ...and two archers and a warrior do not make an invasion force.
  
• hey Trott hey you can see what penalties your units get when attacking others in the panel down the bottom
  
• oh it turns out Smiffy did not actually know how to make peace
  
• uhhhhhh okay so that is a battering ram
  
• it's worth noting that the Huns have two unique units! The horse archer is really fucking cool! You get a handful and run them back and forth, killing off the units defending the city and then eventually chipping off its health, then you roll up with the battering ram to finish off the job
  
• Tom to Sjin in chat: "bring up armies" *Sjin builds a ten turn fishing boat*
  
• SJIN LOST THE WORKER HE STOLE FROM MARK TO BARBS AAAAAAAAAAARGH
  
• Rythian has built a road between his cities! Oh my goodness! He's honestly too good for these people...
  
• ...do I think Tom is competent enough with warfare to wipe Mark out? Because Mark certainly isn't competent enough to defend...
  
• Tom battering rams are siege units please do not run them straight at the enemy warriors thank you
  
• Smiffy: "Guys, I've done nothing to antagonise anyone" by which he actually means "I HAVE DONE NOTHING"
  
• Trott why are you walking that settler to the tundra have you seen the land around your river system
  
• Tom is still building a settler in his second city, thus proving why you shouldn't build a settler in your second city...
  
• MARK TAKE THAT BARRACKS OUT OF YOUR QUEUE YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
  
• Turn 51: Smiffy does not have Masonry so cannot improve his stone. He is four turns from Civil Service, but he has no freshwater farms, despite being settled on a river.
  
• seeing Trott's second city having just a monument and a library is really urgh
  
• like if you are gonna just rush build your library at least have the decency to then construct your National College
  
• (especially if you turned the settler for your third city around meaning it'll take a fair time to get to wherever the hell you've now decided to send it)
  
• ...okay I am now concerned that Tom might manage it...
  
• they're joking about Sjin asking Reddit for help with his gameplay but he literally did this
  
• well Mark on the plus side at least I can finally see that you got Stone Circles for you pantheon shame you only get faith from quarries that aren't actively on fire
  
• Trott if you want to trade your whales maybe you should improve the other source of them that's right next to your capital just saying (it is a perfectly valid thing to trade for another lux before you hook up your duplicate just to guarantee you get a trade, else Rythian might find someone else to swap with in the interim)
  
• Trott just research the fucking wheel already before the calendar hits anno domini please
  
• MARK
  
• just a nice archer behind Exodia to complement your spearman inside it that would have worked
  
• Mark: "I didn't realise Tom was so fucking close" he's really not he's marching those battering rams through a fuckton of jungle I dunno how he's gonna deal with such a spread-out empire given how I'm prepared to wager he doesn't already have the wheel
  
• oh Mark you've still got the city bombard cursor that's the reason you can't select anything just right click please I don't want this to be the reason you lose because then you'll be salty and blame it on the game
  
• LOOK AT THE CURSOR IT'S BRIGHT RED THAT IS CLEARLY NOT NORMAL
  
• okay there we go
  
• could somebody please just build a fourth city already
  
• (I know that in a lot of cases this would first require people to build third or even second cities, BUT STILL)

tl;dr - knock knock, who's there, it's the Huns

End of message.