Post making contest 4.0

This is update #212.

• Rythian actually gave a good answer to Smiffy's question about unit promotions! Things can only go downhill from here...
  
• I am glad that Sjin went Honour. I think this feeling is gladness.
  
• Trott: "Barbarians are like Vienna". Fill in your own end to the analogy, it'll be better than what Trott came up with.
  
• (partially, as Smiffy pointed out, because he meant Venice in the first place...)
  
• Tom has pro strats for dealing with barbarians: running badly damaged units directly between two brutes and hoping
  
• The video didn't show Sjin "acquiring" Mogadishu's worker in the end, so I'm personally going to choose to believe that the city state gave it up to him out of pity.
  
• Trott: "What happens if you found a city directly next to a barbarian camp?" It clear the camp! Smiffy: "so long as the barbarians don't come out and steal your settler" WELL YES BECAUSE TROTT PLEASE ESCORT YOUR BLOODY SETTLER PUT THE SCOUT ON TOP OF IT DON'T RUN IT BACK AND FORTH ALONGSIDE IT THAT WILL NOT HELP
  
• okay technically it will help a bit in your current situation because of zone of control BUT I'd say it's evens whether or not you successfully found this city not gonna lie
  
• Here's a real useful lesson: with your first worker, improve resource tiles! You'll be working them early because of their higher yields anyway, so you may as well get the extra benefit. Trott's farm tile will be comparatively useless!
  
• SMIFFY DON'T HOVER OVER PHILOSOPHY LIKE THAT YOU ARE TWO TURNS FROM RESEARCHING IT DO NOT PICK IT AS YOUR GREAT LIBRARY FREE TECH
  
• you should pick Drama and Poetry because it's the most expensive one and because there's an actual legitimate strategy whereby you then beeline Theology here once you've got its prerequisites and thus enter the Medieval Era in record time for the purposes of opening Exploration NOT THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT BECAUSE NOBODY TOLD YOU POOR SODS ABOUT THE MOD
  
• oh wonderful Rythian you are a darling thank you muchly for explaining to Smiffy what to do
  
• "Attila's Court is starving" ummmmmm
  
• Mark getting the Mausoleum will be a real good thing because not only is it a good wonder in multiplayer he also has three stone sources
  
• NOW FOR THE REAL ANXIETY INDUCER CAN HE FIND STONE CIRCLES IN THE PANTHEON LIST BEFORE DEFAULTING TO SOME SHIT LIKE GOD OF CRAFTSMEN OR SOMETHING
  
• nooooooooooo don't cut away I wanna know if Mark Fucks Up Bad
  
• even worse they cut away to show Rythian competently picking God of the Sea and thus denying it to Trott
  
• plus for Smiffy: he's teching Theology
  
• con for Smiffy: he is surprised and confused by his free Great Scientist and if he bulbs it I swear to Deity difficulty
  
• ah the age-old "where do you plop your academy" argument (answer: flat grassland in singleplayer, camp or stable bonus resources in multiplayer)
  
• Trott do you know what is a happiness
  
• ...did Sjin rush Philosophy just to build the Oracle? Against Smiffy's Babylon? As Mongolia?
  
• WHY IS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH PHILOSOPHY NOW IS NOT THE TIME
  
• RYTHIAN IS MANUALLY DOING TILE ASSIGNMENTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• (I am definitely backing Rythian if I hadn't already made that explicit)
  
• I cannot help but notice that Trott did not in fact settle his second city next to the barb camp he was threatening
  
• (...guess he figured out how to retreat after all...)
  
• Tom losing money is not a legitimate tactic unless you're playing wide and are finely balancing your debts against your ever-expanding road network
  
• they needed a committee to figure out which tech improves marble ummmmmm
  
• MARK MARK LOOK LOOK BOTH YOUR WORKER AND YOUR SETTLER ARE UNESCORTED and there is a Mongolian spearman nearby who I'm sure will claim to be "just browsing" WE NEED TO HAVE WORDS
  
• AND THE MOMENT I UNPAUSE THE VIDEO guess what happened
  
• those reactions are priceless
  
• Mark: "I thought I was safe not to put my warrior on it" NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO
  
• everyone now wants to team up against Sjin
  
• from experience let me just say that you need to perform settler steals very carefully so that your opponent doesn't build a dozen compbows and takes both that contested city spot and your capital by simply overwhelming you
  
• (that was a very interesting game though)

tl;dr - less screaming this episode than the previous two but I REITERATE ESCORT YOUR FUCKING CIVILIANS there we go that's evened up the screaming quotas somewhat

End of message.