Post making contest 4.0

Okay so back when I wrote this it was intended as a way to throw together a whole bunch of concepts I had for other things and write short (maybe?) self contained stories with a consistent locale and cast. Each chapter is (probably?) its own self contained story so I can tear these things apart one chapter at a time.

Right off the bat the title of the first chapter is just... you know sometimes you see those books/movies/whatever that have been constructed around a single perfect pun and its all real contrived to fit to that one title. Well the first chapter is that but the title makes no sense. It's not a clever pun, it's not even a pun. It's a fundamental misunderstanding of a popular song title. I'm more embarrassed by this than anything else I've ever written and this is just the title. It doesn't bode well.