Otaku Melee - Steelport

Chell suddenly found herself in a small dirty room. What was this? What was going on? Moments previous she had been out in the world. She’d been actually outside for the first time that she could remember, beneath the wonderful blue sky. She’d relished that, and the feel of real soil beneath her feet as she had made her way through the seemingly endless fields of corn, battered and charred companion cube in tow. And now she was here, wherever that was. The floor was chequered black and white, instinctively she glanced upwards but the room was low ceilinged. The walls were dirty brown brick. There was the scent of something burning in the air and the sounds of… something, Chell wasn’t sure what, in the distance. There were two doorways, one was open and the other was closed; a pair of double doors with a picture of a anime style cartoon cat splashed across them. She gave it a halfhearted kick but it didn’t open, she wasn’t surprised. With that avenue of escape closed off she turned to look out of the open door and down the corridor beyond. The source of the burning smell was immediately apparent, jets of flame poured forth through holes in the wall. Despite what she might have wanted to believe she could not help but feel that this was some new kind of test.

There was a moment of hesitation, as would be perfectly natural; she’d thought she was free of this. She looked to the companion cube who had been her only true friend in the trials and tribulations she had faced thus far, hoping against hope that it would break its silence to offer some words of enthusiasm. It did not. It was sad really, it had not said a word to her since it had been ejected from the facility moments after she had. She thought it must have still been angry about the time when she had thrown it into an incinerator. However with the nature of what she faced clear in her mind she knew that this was not a time for sadness.

She took a deep breath and she began.

--------

At the end of that corridor there was another door which opened up into a massive warehouse painted in bright colours and filled with crackling electric fences, walls of flame, people dressed in absurd mascot costumes blasting at one another with automatic weaponry. Splinters of wood were scattered across the floor where placards featuring anime style pictures of cute animals had been shot for points. This was Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax, a TV program that was rather popular here in Steelport. The premise was simple: the contestant was given a gun and earned points, and of course cash, for every mascot he or she killed, for every target they destroyed (so long as they didn’t destroy the unethical panda targets (nobody likes a dead panda)) and every trap they evaded. If they made it to the other side alive they won big prizes and if they didn’t then well they’d signed the disclaimer so it was fine.

“And that looks to be just about it for Mikey.” The voice belonged to one of a pair of commentators in a booth high overlooking the course. “Well he had a good run of it, what do you say Bobby?” His cohost’s attention appeared to have been taken up by something else however.

“What in the world is that?” Bobby asked. There was a shimmering orange oval upon the wall opposite from the entrance corridor, and through it he could see the holding room. “This isn’t one of Professor Genki’s devices.” His cohost, Zach, followed his gaze and raised his eyebrows.

“You’re not wrong.” He replied. “Just what is that thing?” At that point a woman walked through carrying some kind of device which seemed to be in turn carrying a very large battered and charred cube. She glanced this way and that, aimed the device and fired. Suddenly where she had targeted now had a shimmering blue oval to match the orange one.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing Bobby?” Zach asked.

“I don’t know Zach, I dropped a tab of acid this morning and I think it’s just come back to haunt me.” The bewildered pair saw nothing to do but to commentate as the mysterious girl in the orange jumpsuit navigated her way through the course. At the first point where she encountered live mascots she seemed almost surprised as bullets starting whizzing past her head, and she took cover rather than attempt to take them on.

“Could it be, Bobby, that this girl doesn’t know what she’s in for?” Zach asked.

“Nah I don’t think so Zach, everyone in this town knows Professor Genki.” He paused. “Hey what’s she…?”

--------

With one hand Chell grabbed the gun that a man who had been dressed as a battery had been using. She didn’t know much about guns, save for the portal gun that is. She supposed she could try to fight her way out that way. Despite her inexperience she’d probably have the advantage; the ability to place portals meant that there was nowhere to hide. But she paled at the thought of taking another human life. All the things she had done so far, she’d never had to actually hurt anyone, anyone that was a person that is. Decisively she aimed the rifle up towards the booth high above and she fired.

--------

The glass shattered and Zach and Bobby hit the floor behind their desk.

“I can’t believe this!” Bobby exclaimed. “All this time that glass wasn’t bulletproof?!”

“I would have been a lot kinder about our contestants if I’d known they could have taken potshots at us.” Zach admitted. There was a noise from behind them. It sounded sort of like ‘plock’ and then a low pitched, almost imperceptible, humming. The announcers turned to watch the mysterious contestant run through the portal, skid to a stop in front of them and then turn and flee through the door.

--------

A minute or two later a window shattered and a portal appeared upon the street outside. Chell leapt through without hesitation, finding herself, and her only friend, back once more beneath an open blue sky.