Hiccups (Text) - COMPLETED!

SINGULT EX MACHINA

Suddenly, an idea strikes you. Hiccupping is a mechanical process. What if you had a machine that made you hiccup?

You quickly turn to your hiccupping companions and explain your plan. They quickly get to work.

The police officer rides off on the Hell Cow to retrieve materials. The gnome begins drawing up blueprints, while the mountain climber distracts the demon with a game of charades to prevent him from interfering.

Soon, the police officer drives back in the ice cream truck, and the Hell Cow takes over distraction duty while the rest of you begin converting the ice cream truck into the Machine of Hiccups.

There's less than a minute left. Quickly, you sit in the Hiccup chair and press a button. It presses on your diaphragm and...

*hiccup*

Hiccuptor stirs. He snaps his fingers, and the Hell Cow's depiction of the Super Bowl is interrupted by a hiccupping fit. He then flings something at the machine; it makes a hiccup-like sound and then falls apart.

"So we have a draw," Hiccuptor says, grinning evilly. "But that simply means neither of us is bound to the terms of the contest. I can continue with my conquest, I simply won't have the soul of a volcano god. Hardly a great loss."

Thirty seconds left. If you could just hiccup once!

Laugh. Laugh not in joy, but in despair. Laugh, for the knowledge that everything has come to naught, and now there's nothing you can do.

Laugh, like only the bitterest of men can.

But you can't. You've lost. And you know it. You begin to weep, and then to laugh. You're a broken man. Freed from the hiccups that plagued you, just when you need them the most.

Ha. Ha. Hahahaha.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*hiccup*

Hiccuptor's grin fades, just as the gnome pulls out a pocket watch and smiles.

"Time's - *hic* - up."

It's your turn to grin.

"No! No! How can this be?" Hiccuptor begins shrinking. Then he laughs.

"But I only agreed not to unleash my curse again. I never agreed to undo it. Those of you already cursed will simply have to live with your hiccups forever!"

That may be what he says. But you're a volcano god, and you're not going to take this.

Push him back into the volcano!

You shove Hiccuptor towards the volcano, aided by the mountain climber and the policeman and the Hell Cow. You push him back to the edge, but he's still fighting back. You don't think you have the strength to shove him over.
Then the gnome runs up to his ankle and begins pushing.

It's just enough. He falls back.

"No! No! You can't do this to me!" he screams.

You begin pumping lava from the bottom of the volcano onto him. He screams in agony.

"Please! Stop! I'll remove the curse! Arrrgh!"

You accept. You let him out. He flees the volcano, and jumps down the crevice, back to Hell, never to be seen again.

Everybody cheers. You have proven your worth as a volcano god, and more importantly, you no longer have the hiccups.

YOU WIN!

SpoilerShow

And after one year, that concludes Hiccups!

I may write up an epilogue in a bit.