Advice wanted please

Comicfury is a pretty decent hosting site? They don't require you to have any advertising of theirs on your site, the forums aren't too bad (modded by one of my best friends who won't take any shit) and you can use your own url etc. People do discuss the comics there; theres a dedicated advertising forum and outside of that its all critique or chatting or advice instead of everyone yelling over each other to read their own thing.

I think a bit of the problem you're having right now is that you want your work to be seen, but its not happening. I know its frustrating to not have an audience, but thats the sort of thing that builds up gradually and to start often requires a bit of luck? You've gotta focus on getting it finished and putting out a complete work instead of getting discouraged because no one seems to be watching. You'll pick up people as you go along and they'll hang around for your next thing; if you never get it finished they won't hang around and you won't get much traction.

Also 'networking' with people is one of the best ways to get noticed. Maybe not via a group chat or w/e but following people and talking/interacting with them on tumblr and twitter really help. I've made a lot of friends that way, and i've kept abreast of the current news and goss and just generally been in the loop. Submitting small comics to things like zines or anthologies is also a good idea. Basically just focus on creating and occasionally saying hi to the other people doing the same thing is the best way to get somewhere. I mean. There are a ton of creatives on this forum but you haven't really posted anywhere but this topic; no one knows who you are so they're less likely to read your topic. (I found out there was a local comic group in my city a couple of years back; now i go to every meeting, count almost all of them as my good friends and have been published 3x over. The big names in my countries comics community now know me and my work).

Right! Onto content review.

I totally understand not making polished art to get the story out there! That's what i do myself. However, yours is quite hard to decipher in places. I would suggest upping the contrast so your lines are proper black, and instead of using hatching to shade using flat greys so its easier to distinguish shapes. At the moment its a little scribbley with the hatching. What would also help is if you varied lineweight: the outlines need to be thicker than the hatching, for instance. The old version was waaaaaay better about this.

Content wise: i'm really not into super stereotypical anime/manga tropes, even in parody. As it is i think some of this is slipping from satire into just repeating the thing its supposed to be satirising? Like, that girl doesn't need huge boobs at 13. It doesn't make it any less gross if you bring attention to that fact that its weird but leave her with them anyway. Its kind of an overdone topic as it is and i guess you just need to ask yourself if you're doing anything new and entertaining with it?

Thanks very much for the leagues of advice and I'll see what I can do with it. In the content, I have plans for the next 2-3 25-page chapters going over how the characters' stereotypical traits have given them different neuroses, in a more played bizarrely serious way;
Manly boss closet mysogynist guy is leading his whole life compensating for not feeling manly enough even though he's been buff since he was a child and as a result is a terrible leader who doesn't listen,
Fanservice action girl developed really, REALLY young, leading to a kidnapping, death of a sibling, self-loathing, and now she's constantly trying to be stronger to make up for the events she thinks she's caused but always gives up when a single opponent gets a sort of upper hand,
Pervert stereotypical shonen lead wants to be a good guy but since he's been so awful even his mother doesn't love him anymore he fluctuates between trying to be better, or taking himself even further down the shit path...

I still like the old one better as a pilot but don't want to use the old art style anymore, yet when I darken it into black everything gets overpowered and blends in even more badly. I guess a bug part of what I was looking for with this was the kind of communication I had with people in making forum adventures a while back, but don't feel secure in taking that leap from FA-level crafting to legit graphic arts, especially since my main focus is in prose publishing. But, I dunno. I do think I'll give the cluttered panels a redraw (though it's hard for me to figure out which ones don't come across--constant problem of mine), but do you want me to post the last pages here before the big sign-off? Or would that not really be able to do anything to alter the constructive criticism and suggestions given so far?