Critique and Advice; the treadmill of adventuring.

edit: too self-congratulatory

Jerks in Time is pretty snappy! You use double spaces liberally enough to keep the amount of text readable without becoming straining. The little narrative flourishes that don't necessarily contain plot pertinent info like this paragraph

Show Content

Spoiler"Time traveled one second at a time, and those three felt every one of them as they sat on that couch zooming forward by minutes at a stretch. Positions adjusted, commercial breaks came and went, Johnny even got a refill for himself. Tim didn't realize it, but his body was actually still quietly digesting the dinner he had had yesterday. Blood continued to pump through his heart and veins at a steady, resting rate. His eyelids occasionally blinked open and close again. The keratin on his fingernails built up upon itself. Through no action of his own, cavities he was unaware of continued to eat away at his teeth, molecule by molecule. And all the while, he was growing."

really help flesh out the story, so I think including a few more of these here and there wouldn't go amiss. As for how you're doing time travel, I like it so far. It gives you enough room to play around in without over complicating things too badly. Thumbs up.

Edit: I thought your post was fine.