The Official Fogel Writes Silly Things Thread

Budgiecop

"You can't take that birdcage on the bus," the driver said, giving Jimmy a disapproving glare. "You'll have to find someplace else to keep it. Or walk home."
"But you just let another guy with a budgie get on!" Jimmy protested.
"That's because that's no ordinary budgie, kid. That's Budgiecop."
Upon hearing his name, Budgiecop immediately put on his sunglasses.
"Hey, driver! What's the holdup?" he shouted. "I've got a crime scene to check out."
"Sorry, kid," the driver said, closing the door and leaving Jimmy standing at the bus stop. "Police business." He turned back and yelled. "I'm goin', I'm goin'!"

"And that was when I vowed vengeance upon you, Budgiecop," James Pettigrudge said, polishing his gun. "Thanks to you, I had to carry Stacey's cage a whole four blocks! And I'll never forgive you for it."
"Uh, I don't see what I had to do with it," Budgiecop said. "It's the driver who brushed you off. I couldn't even see what was going on from back there."
James Pettigrudge paused in thought.
"Damn, I knew there was someone else I wanted revenge on! But how am I going to track down a single bus driver from twenty years ago?"
While Pettigrudge was distracted, Budgiecop poked his way over to the ropes holding his cage to the conveyor belt.
"Why'd he bother with this setup if he's got a gun?" Budgiecop wondered to himself. Then he pecked away the ropes and his cage was free. He rolled it over, running to get it to move faster than the conveyor belt.
"Too bad Hamstercop isn't here," Budgiecop mused. But finally, the cage picked up momentum and rocketed off the conveyor, hitting Pettigrudge in the face and knocking him out.
Budgiecop just stood in his cage, wearing his sunglasses.
"Well, that worked out pretty well."
He glanced around.
"...Now how am I going to bring him in?"

Three hours later, Budgiecop arrived at headquarters, carrying a cage with James Pettigrudge stuffed inside. The chief just stared at him.
"Hey chief," Budgiecop said. "Can you take care of this guy? I like having my personal space."
"Yeah, uh, okay," the chief replied. "Just get in line, they should be able to take care of you when they get that guy out of Elephantcop's trunk."
"Thanks, chief," Budgiecop said. "Keep up the good work, okay?"
The chief zookeeper just sighed as Budgiecop flew to the end of the processing line.
"Of all the zoos in the world, why'd I have to end up with this one?"