L.O.V.E.

You're proactively leveraging your synergies to facilitate win-win scenarios in accordance with the company's vision statement, of course.

At least, that's what all these motivational posters you're required to put up in your cubicle say.

Every day, you stare at the posters that management has mandated you hang on the walls of your cubicle. They promise fulfillment, camraderie, happiness... as long as you conform.

Well, fuck conformity.

Quick, go into another person's cubicle and make out with them

You rush across the aisle into the nearest cubicle, planting a passionate kiss on the first available mouth. Spontaneity! It feels good to shed the trappings of corporate drone-hood. Does your unwitting target share your newfound zeal for life?



Too early to tell. A blank stare greets you as you pull back. "Gug," he says.

Oh well.

Go find your boss and give them your two week notice so you'll have a good reference for your next interview at somewhere you actually want to work.

It's time to make a change. You ascend via the elevator, to your boss's office. You've never been there before. You've never actually met him either - you've just seen him in the weekly "town hall" broadcasts from the 99th floor. But new, assertive you, you don't give a fuck. You're going to honey badger your way right up there and tell him you've had enough.

The elevator doors slide open silently, revealing your boss's office.



Plush red carpet lines the floor, accenting the wood paneling of the walls. On the walls hang ornate tapestries, gold trim glinting in the sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows.

The Boss sits in his chair, turned away from you, his fingers steepled.

Just as you open your mouth, he speaks, his voice smooth like melting butter.

"Who enters?"