The Solaris Files: Dominican Republic

>We need exposure! Get the local media in on the action. Promise blackjack, hookers, booze, AND A PARTY!

Well, yes. You can't expect to rely on word of mouth alone if you want this party to be large enough to attract the attention of Doctor Diabolico. Slinking away from the party supplies store for the moment you call your publicist and tell her to publicise the hell out of this party. It's going to be the best thing ever, you tell her, there will be booze, blackjack, hookers all that good shit. She confidently assures you that by the end of the day your party will have gone viral, and that going viral is a good thing. You totally already knew that and chastise her for explaining it to you.

So progress so far: On the plus side you now have, or will have, high expectations for your kickass party. On the minus side you still don't have a kickass party, and are no closer to obtaining one.

>Wear a fake moustache and tell them you're here to fix the air conditioning.

You are a master of subterfuge and given enough time to find a costume you would be able to pull off the old broken air conditioning ruse flawlessly. You guess you could still pull it off without getting into full costume, but you're going to need that fake moustache and it seems you neglected to pack your own personal fake moustache. Luckily the solution is obvious. There's a costume shop, the WACKY COSTUME WAREHOUSE nearby and you figure you'll be able to get one in there.

As you approach the costume store you discover to your dismay that Doctor Diabolico has it under lockdown, guarded by four of his toughest looking costumed thugs. One of them even has a confetti bazooka. What now?