Post making contest 3.0

Divided into spoilers for the sake of not taking up a huge amount of space

Posts 1-6

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Spoiler

This is update #156.

Day 6: Dug more clay from the lagoon, planted some of my seeds on the far side of the lake, chopped down some trees. Made a bucket and some shears too.

Night 6: Turns out my spiral staircase mine was not far off bedrock, so once it hit it I branch out a little. I find my first redstone, but I'm a little too scared of being below to lava line to go too far. Once back upstairs, I make myself a compass, though it won't be too useful just yet.

Day 7: it's raining, so I shelve the planned farming spree and try some interior decorating instead. Of course it's the spruce planks that go best with bricks - I scarcely have any, since I only chopped down one spruce tree. In the evening, I plant my spruce saplings out by the farm, along with the sugarcane. There are some sheep loafing around, so I shear them. At last, I can make a bed and sleep through the night! Actually I care more about setting my respawn, but whatever.

Day 8: I finally decide to investigate the lava issue. It turns out my sub-basement is just a lake of lava. This is not ideal. I dig all the way around its perimeter hoping for iron, but I just get diorite. I am beginning to think I have too much diorite. Before I leave the lake, I consider picking up a bucket of lava, but this feels like a dangerous thing to be wielding when you've just laid your nice new spruce floor. Speaking of spruce, two of the saplings have grown by the late evening. I dash out to chop them down, though "dash" is putting it kindly; the one disadvantage of living in a cliff by a lake is having to wade through the lake everytime you want to go anywhere...

Night 8: I mine so much coal.

Day 9: My tunnels near bedrock produce some more iron and redstone, but pickings are really slim. I definitely need to find a cave soon. Turns out it's (still?) raining, though I nip outside to chop down more spruces and harvest some sugarcane.

Night 9: Once I remember how to make paper, I fashion myself a map, and it turns out they do not work like they used to? This one filled itself in and appeared accurate to the block? It was definitely covering a smaller area, though. Still, it confirms the apostrophe shape of the lake... I go mining, again. Just more coal, iron and redstone for now.

Day 10: I get lost in my mines for the first time whilst trying to get out. It's fun. Back upstairs, I lay some birch planks outside my front door, since they fade well into the sand, then put a pressure plate behind my door to make getting out easy. Some of my wheat has grown, which is lovely!

Night 10: Strip mining produces results! I find my first gold, six blocks worth, and then just behind it are four diamonds! I fundamentally do not trust myself to keep a diamond pickaxe safe yet, so I stash them in a special chest in my ceiling.

Day 11: I waste a lot of the day tabbed out, looking up how to make fences (I used cobblestone walls for the farm) - thus, all I really do is extend the birch boardwalk and plant more seeds.

Night 11: The sugarcanes have grown again, so I clip them on my run back home and knock up some paper with which I expand the map. It makes a bit more sense now; anywhere I've already been is charted, but not places I've yet to go, and adding more paper to it to make it bigger is pretty sensible. I just wish it hadn't put my house in the top left corner... anyway, I realised I hadn't attained any achievements for a while, and discover that this was because I had not made the necessary wooden tools to start all three trees. I do so, then go mining again...

Day 12: ...and eventually I start hearing lava bubbling away in the near-distance; sure enough, I break through to what appears to be a river of lava, low-ceilinged and rimmed with andesite and granite. I tunnel alongside it for a while, but I'm getting hungry and haven't brought any porkchops so am forced to climb back up to topside. Whilst there, I chop some more spruces and replace them with birch.

End of message.

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laughing and laughing

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`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

This post passes rules 1 and 5! This is the first post to pass a rule, and also passes two rules!

After further review, no longer passes rule 5. Still the first post to pass a rule.

Balderdash!

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ABCDE
FGHIJ
KLMNO
PQRST
UVWXY

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Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and slipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't.

This post passes rule 1!

Rules 7 - 12

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Spoiler

I've got no idea what Rule 4 is, could we get a hint on it?

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I honestly can't think of a hint for rule 4 that doesn't give it away outright, but I'm thinking. I'll think of hints besides the rule names for all of the rules if any give you trouble, but it hasn't even been an hour yet, so no hints quite yet.

Code:

ABCDE
FGHIK
LMNOP
QRSTU
VWXYZ

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Reality Forge

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[overwatch comic]

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BALDERDASH!
A
L
D
E
R
D
A
S
H
!

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'(0 w0)'

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posts 13 - 18

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Spoiler

racecar

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Rule 1: Post must pass Rule 5.
Rule 2: Post must be blue.
Rule 3: Post must transform into a robot.
Rule 4: Post must be impossible to understand.
Rule 5: Post must not pass Rule 1.

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okay i have one rule down

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posts 19 - 24

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Spoiler

Rule Number One: Post must be fun.
Rule Number Two: Post must be blue.
Rule Number Three: Post must resemble a bee.
Rule Number Four: Post must be on the floor.
Rule Number Five: Post must be alive.

this post passes none of the rules!

'(0w 0)'

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It's time to examine your BONES.

deltree

"use strict"

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クエスアアプサエワク
オリククヱシピワクオ
エアンススドウッオエ
イオクスフフオルデル
ルスヴクズプヴクルユ
フプホトクウフスッド
ォクブホクゥィヲユヰ
スソグヴスクオエヱエ
ホインェドワエスフユ
ジウヴドフソワルィル
ドスェフヴドプフホツ
クグクドクゥジクワイ
ンlナクソスフエセオ
ヴ オフクフクユルヱ
ォ スェヱドォスユウ
セ クnクルアルフオ
ル ス スワヱグワe
ム フ フmウクレ
ク ス ホ オエス
ル ク c ークg
ス ド   プフ
ド ヴ   フn
フ ブ   ス
ホ ホ   ク
ク ク   オ
B ク   a
  ホ
  a

this post passes none of the rules! (i honestly have no idea what the translated version is. i'm assuming it's something coherent. depending on what the translated version is, this MAY pass more rules. Maybe)

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posts 25 - 31

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Spoiler

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Wnwhwiay

Bee

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remember remember every second in november; beware the fucking cinemas

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this is creative where's my rule one pass!

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Somewhere in the future.

Dear CrimsonMage,

If you want to get on Discord purely to shout at us all for being such terrible people, then we would understand.

Yours sincerely,

Sruixan

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But then I'd have to download Discord and I'm sort of lazy.

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A.B≠B.A

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More grading in the next post, because you post faster than i can grade