Post making contest 2.0

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I suppose this post breaks rules 3, 4 and 5.

xg

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if this passes rule 4 how did you ever expect us to figure this out

This post breaks rules 1, 2, 3 and 5. I am on record as saying I regret rule 4. I am also on record as saying that my original plan involved a different rule, but I had to swap it out for this one.

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Okay, I don't know what rule 5 is, but I'm pretty sure I can pass it in conjunction with rule 3, which is all that matters for the moment, right?

Now I know a pushy lubricate ad.

This post breaks rules 1 and 2, whilst confusing me somewhat.

con i hugs i funky bop

This post breaks rules 1, 2 and 5.

There was a young man who said fremp, it seems that I fremb that I fremb, but what I would like to see is the I that fremps me when I fremp that I fremp that I fremp

This post made me make a noise that I can only really describe as a disappointed hiss, and breaks rules 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

now i know i chops buff

This post breaks rules 1 and 5.

cow i know i knows

This post breaks rules 1 and 5. Is this progress?

Now I know I offer something of ambled

This post breaks rules 1, 2 and 5. Was that your intent?