Battle Fighting Contest

In their silent citadel the Secretive seethed, "a battle, that could be the very thing to soothe this endless melancholy" they considered aloud. But their tastes were quite particular and known to none. It would be a challenge indeed to meet their exacting criteria. "My gentlemen..." they called, and their servants poured from the dark places where they lurked when not of service, "find us some contestants" they demanded, "and be quick about it."

Welcome to the Battle Fighting Contest. This is an unholy hybrid of a Grand Battle and a ____ making contest. There are, as ever, five secret rules in play rules Υ, Φ, Χ, Ψ and Ω. Submit profiles and try to pass these secret rules. The first profiles (and players) to pass all five rules enter the battle. After that every round will have five new secret rules and the last player to pass the rules each round is eliminated.

This is a really dreadful idea i'm sorry everyone.

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SpoilerHere's the basic profile template for anyone who doesn't have it memorized
Name:
Gender:
Race:
Color:
Description:
Items/Abilities:
Biography: