Noise Lights: A Text Adventure- Sweet and Sour Victory

> "... Bro?"

Actually, whoever this is does kinda look like your brother; from behind at least. He’s got the same hair color, but he’s not wearing the type of clothes your brother usually wears. Your brother usually prefers to dress like a fop with ties, suspenders, and pomade. He thinks he’s SO fancy just because he has a well-paying office job. This person is dressed like a moron too, but in a different way; crumby jacket, worn shoes, ripped pants, and all. He’s also wearing a dirty, finger-less glove. Just the one, his other hand is bare. “Hey numb-nuts, did you lose the other one?” What a tool.
Anyway, since whoever this person is looks like your brother you automatically dislike him. If he is your brother, he’s got a lot nerve muscling in on your quest. It might have been a mistake to tell him where you were going, but at the time you thought it would be a good security net in case you needed him to bail you out of trouble again. It is curious how he got out here before you, baring the incident where you were unconscious for most of the day, especially since you took his truck and disassembled his bike. Again. There are only a few ways to find out for sure if that is your brother. The first one is talking. It’s time to make contact. Your current unnerved state outweighs your dislike of your brother; you decide to proceed with caution.

You: “Yo, bro. Is that, um, is that you?”

He doesn’t answer. He’s still crouching down there staring at the floor. How rude.

>Throw the "Staying Delicious" book at the figure then quickly turn around and try to catch it.

He either can’t hear you, or he is ignoring you. It’s time for the next step of making contact, a swift jar to the head. If he is your brother, he probably has this coming. You pull out the “Staying Delicious” book and wind up your throwing arm. An echoing thought in your head plants the idea that if you don’t immediately turn around and try to catch something, you’re going to look very silly. Well, aside from all the times they got you horribly killed, the spontaneous ideas have never given you a reason to distrust them. Sure, you’ll bite.
With a moderate amount of strength you hurl the book through the trapdoor at the figure below.
1 book removed from inventory

>Your blood. What if the vial has your blood in it?

Oh. Yeah, that’s an unsettling thought. The codex said that the scent of their prey’s blood is what drives Howling Gut Snakes to frenzy. The blood of a specific person instead of blood in general is an oddly linear thing for an animal to focus on, though. You’re not a herpetologist, so you’re not sure if that’s the case. Still, if that guy you bought the snake catching kit from did include a vile of your blood specifically, how did he get it? At the time you respected the specifics of the transaction since he demanded identity theft for payment. Thinking back on it, the guy was kind of a creeper. You’re not sure how to feel about the idea of a possible whack job having unlimited access to your blood. You’ll have to look into it later.
Anyway, you were going to do something before you landed on this train of thought. What was - *WHACK*
A book pelts you in the back of the head. Before you can reach up to grab it, it rolls off you and tumbles down into the open trapdoor.

You: “Son of a seven eyed man-manatee!”

You quickly turn around to see where the book came from. You catch a glimpse of the trapdoor in the ceiling and see that it’s open when - *WHACK!*
A book pelts you in the face.

1 book added to inventory


Player Statistics:

SpoilerShow

Status: UNSETTLED

Death Count: 3

Inventory:
1 can of dehydrated cans, add water for more cans
1 book (read) titled Staying Delicious: Keep Your Cool as a Fool
1 electronic codex, print is dead read me instead
1 legalese document
1 extend-o-grab
1 mallet
1 pistol
1 fistful of pennies
1 bunch of coupons
1 keys

Abilities:
A Kall To Keys [X]
Stat Tat [X]
Honeyed Vinegar [X]

You probably deserved that.

Softmind Software^tm Semi-Monthly Corporate Newsletter:

SpoilerShow

So, we’re doing another one of these then. Whatever. Apparently, my last newsletter just wasn’t good enough, even though I answered all of your queries and rightfully put your collective minds at ease with no evidence to the contrary. You have been sending us mountains of letters not only complaining about the same things you did last time, but now some new problems that you seem to have imagined up. We already disabled our phones. Are we going to have to cancel our mail too?
The “problem” you’ve been complaining about the loudest recently is that we have been supposedly draining massive amounts of money from your finances and savings. Well, not supposedly, actually. We really have been doing that; for quite a while, in fact. It’s NOT a problem, though. Everything we’re doing is calculated down to the last digit. We know what we’re doing, we’re professionals. You’ll be fine. Okay, I can kind of understand a little why you’d be upset. Especially since we forged a bunch of signatures and sabotaged your legal departments to do it.
Yes, I get it. I understand. I’m actually on your side here. It was sort-of almost-slightly underhanded of us. In our defense, we needed it more than you. Think of this as a good thing. You guys are WAY too jumpy. Seriously, the moment we do something a little illegitimate or slightly illegal, you go up in arms about it and start quoting “Ethics and Practices” at us. What does that even mean? “Ethics and Practices”. Just a bunch of buzzwords.
Just because it’s dangerous doesn’t mean you should give up. Think of it like this, the bear trap is there to keep you from letting go of the prize. Here, just to put your minds at ease, I’ll tell you a little something. We were planning to wait on announcing this during the next public tech expo, but I can see you donkeys need your carrot now. We’ve put together a handy little device. It’s a camera. Not just any camera; no, no, no. This hefty and massively expensive camera will revolutionize the interactive fiction industry from the ground up. This camera, while filming, instead of converting scenes to moving pictures, like in the movies, converts the images recorded into painstakingly detailed pages upon pages of text. That’s right, text. Beautiful, simple, and pure. Now this generation’s text adventure games can be produced for prices as low as the average multi-million dollar summer blockbuster x3. You’re welcome.

From the desk of Geraldine Hayes.