The Space Consortium

Yeaaah, ummm--well, no, I mean, I could beeeee?

>Well, you certainly wouldn't SAY you were. But yeah totally. Just don't say it.

The more you think about it the more you think this is some sort of sophisticated code. There’s probably some specific response that a member of the Space Consortium would know. Saying yes would be a dead giveaway that you’re not really a member.

What is space but all of existence within a given moment? I, in this moment, exist, therefore as part of existence I am a member of space. And what is a consortium if not an association? I associate with other beings on a regular basis. And am associating right now with you. Therefore by association with consortium associates I too, am of the consortium. With these two truths intact pure logic dictates that I must be a member of The Space Consortium. And if I must be, then I am. All facts implying the contrary are thus misleading.

uhhhhhhhhhhhh

Offer them weird dogs.

Show them a picture of a weird dog, that's sure to appeal to them.

The felk makes an impatient squelch and no closer to demonstrable proof of your membership (or an alternate way inside) you fall back on your most major skill.

“Hey you look like an individual that enjoys a weird dog!” You say, sure and certain that the felk (full name G#kerag Akjrga) loves little more than a really good weird dog. “Well, my friend, I have just the product for you: the Vjigen Lifeform Generation Kit™! A simple to learn system with which you can construct up to grade H lifeforms using simple household ingredients! The intuitive genegramming language will have you constructing basic intelligences in mere minutes! Available right now for the low low price of just 7000 Galbux! (Limited time offer; available while stock lasts.)”



One of the talents that has allowed you to be such a good salesbeing is your dataception; a sense innate to your species which allows you to perceive information about things and people just from being in close proximity to them. It’s a useful talent for your line of work, though you have to be careful, sometimes people object to having their private information so easily accessible.



You conclude your sales pitch; G#kerag looks like they’re probably sold already, the guirid (full name Jio!? Ba*! (preferred name Gi~!)) isn’t so convinced. “No salesbeings.” They say bluntly.

Oh damn maybe you were a little too enthusiastic there. How are you gonna pull this back?